"When you are fully loved, you will love your brothers and sisters and the trees and oceans, too."
「當你可以全心全意地愛自己時，你也會愛你的兄弟姐妹、樹木和海洋。」
By Jason Garner
作者: 傑森‧蓋納
文章來源 / Source:
https://jasongarner.com/spirituality/radical-selfishness-2/
We live in a time of saving things. We spend much of our time and thoughts focused on how to fix the things, people, and world around us. This act of going out into the world and fixing its perceived problems is often viewed as selfless and sacred service. And in so many ways, it is. Putting our own needs aside and helping those in need can be a beautiful act of courage.
我們活在一個拯救的時代裏。我們花很多時間和精神去修復我們周遭世界人事物的問題。這種擁抱世界解決問題的行為，通常被認為是很無私而且崇高的。就很多方面來說，的確是。不顧一己之私，捨己為人，的確是一種讓人動容的勇者表現。
But I wonder, at the same time, if it’s also a mask. I wonder if by constantly looking outward and finding things to fix we’ve become a society that doesn’t know how to look inside and love what we find. I wonder if it’s the world that needs saving, or if the world is simply expressing what so many of us feel inside. I wonder if we’ve so ignored the little voice inside asking for love that the Universe feels compelled to scream at us in the form of war, disease, and planetary disasters. And I wonder if it’s even possible to save the hearts of the world when so many of us are nursing broken hearts ourselves.
但同時我不禁懷疑，這種行為是否也是一種掩飾。我懷疑，經常將目光朝外去尋找修復的對象，人們是否已經不知道該如何向內去欣賞自己的內在。我懷疑，是這個世界真的需要救贖，還是這個世界只是反映了多數人內心的感覺。我懷疑，我們是否因為完全忽視了內在那個呼求關愛的微小聲音，這個宇宙必須用戰爭、疾病和天災的方式向人類大聲疾呼。我也懷疑，當我們那麼多人還需要療癒自己破碎的心時，我們是否能夠去拯救全人類的心。
I know these questions carry a great deal of emotional complexity. I know that each of us is doing our best, so when questions like this surface it’s easy to feel attacked. So let’s breathe together a few times and open up to an honest conversation from loving hearts.
我知道這些問題會引發很複雜的情緒。我知道我們每個人都在盡最大的能力，所以當這些問題出現時，心裏不免會覺得受到批判。何不讓我們一起作幾次深呼吸，敞開胸懷來作一場誠摯的交流。
I have a friend with debilitating cancer who’s in extreme pain, the kind of pain that causes me to ponder what kind of universe allows such things to happen to its people. She’s suffering is a way that makes it nearly impossible to find a lesson or any good in it. And yet she called me the other day to see how I was doing. I had to think a while before answering truthfully, “I’m good.” It almost seemed unfair for me to be feeling good in the midst of her suffering. I know that by focusing on others my friend is coping with her own pain, and I suppose that’s probably a good thing. But still I wonder if it’s also part of the cause of her disease. Has a lifetime of putting her own feelings last manifested itself in a body with a disease that now requires my friend to focus on herself or die? Is this the purpose of her disease — a sad, tired and abandoned body finally finding a tragic way to be heard?
我有位朋友罹患癌症，身體很虛弱，並且承受極大的痛苦。那種痛苦不禁讓我想問，是什麼樣的宇宙會讓這種事發生在它子民的身上。那種痛苦也幾乎談不上可以用任何領悟或意義來合理化。不過她卻在前幾天打電話來問我好不好。我必須思考一下才能誠實地回答她:「我很好。」我幾乎覺得，面對她的痛苦，我的好心情是件不公平的事。我知道我的朋友是藉著關心別人來面對她自己的病痛。我想這樣也許是件好事。不過我仍不禁懷疑這是否是她生病的原因之一。也許是一輩子將自己的感受放在最後，這個結果現在必須用生病的方式來呈現，強迫這位朋友正視她自己的需要，否則就要面對死亡? 也許這是她生病的目的 -- 一個疲憊可憐被忽視的身體，最後必須用這種悲劇的方式來得到關心?
My wife, Dr. Christy, and I attended a gathering recently of some of the world’s leading teachers and activists. We gathered to discuss the condition of the planet and what we could do to help. Throughout the gathering, as people became acquainted with Christy’s amazing work as a healer, they would — one by one — come and ask her a medical question about themselves. These questions reflected their tragic and deeply saddening state of health. By the end of a gathering focused on healing the planet, it was clear to me that what truly needed healing was its participants. While these beautiful souls spent their days traveling the world sharing love, they had forgotten to love themselves.
我和妻子克莉絲蒂醫師最近參加了一場聚會，參加的人都是世界頂尖的生活導師和社會運動人士。我們聚在一起討論地球的狀況和解決之道。整個過程中，當與會人士得知克莉絲蒂是位成功的治療師後，他們紛紛，一個接一個地，過來向她請教他們自身的健康問題。這些問題無疑反映出他們不幸和令人擔憂的健康狀況。在大家討論要如何療癒地球的這場聚會快要結束時，我很清楚地明白，真正需要被療癒的是這個地球上的子民。當這些美麗的靈魂馬不停蹄地到世界各地分享他們愛的訊息時，他們已經忘了要愛他們自己。
This is true everywhere we look.
這個事實觸目所及。
We use words like “sacrifice,” “execution,” and “make a killing” to describe the efforts and rewards of business. While those words began as metaphors they have become reality in a business climate that is sick, tired, and finds rest only on the operating tables and in the recovery rooms of our hospitals. As parents we have heaped so many conditions on being good moms and dads that it’s nearly impossible to succeed. We make it our responsibility to please bosses, teachers, administrators, friends, and family members and then try to find time in the midst of that pressure to love our kids. Our children, under the same pressure, are faced with an avalanche of information, and an antiquated educational system, and a lack of jobs, and then are told to “make something of themselves.” And we wonder why it’s easier to save a whale.
我們經常用這些字眼「獻祭 (犧牲)」、「行刑 (執行計畫)」 和「大開殺戒 (獲取暴利)」來形容商場上的搏命和報酬。但如今在這個令人厭惡和疲憊的商業競爭裏，這些原本譬喻性的字眼已經變成事實，人們唯一得到喘息的機會是躺在醫院的手術檯上或病房裏。身為父母的我們，汲取了一大堆的父母經，要成為成功的父母越來越難。我們還要像盡義務似地去取悅我們的上司、老師、主任、朋友和家人，然後在百忙中抽空去愛我們的孩子。我們的孩子們也有同樣的壓力，他們要面對如山倒海的資訊、一個過時的教育系統和工作機會的短缺，在這樣的條件下，我們期待他們要「出人頭地」。難怪去救一隻鯨魚都要容易得多了。
My teacher Sharon Salzberg once asked the Dalai Lama how he dealt with self-hatred. He looked at her puzzled, not because he didn’t understand her language but because he didn’t understand the concept. After much back and forth with various translators and explanations of the question, it became clear that he had never experienced the feeling of self-loathing. For him, it didn’t exist.
我的老師 雪倫.薩爾茲堡 有次問達賴喇嘛如何面對自我憎恨。他不解地看著雪倫，並不是因為他不懂她的語言，而是他不懂這個概念，好幾個人必須來來回回幫忙解釋這個問題。很明顯地他從來沒有經歷過自我厭惡的感覺。對他來說，這種事根本不存在。
But for us it does … and often it’s the norm.
但對我們來說是存在的…而且是常態。
So back to the title of this post — Radical Selfishness — and the questions I posed at the beginning. Is this world we are working so hard to save a manifestation of the large part of us all that needs saving itself? Can we heal the world without healing ourselves? Will there ever be global love when we can’t even love ourselves?
現在回到本文的題目: 有違常理的自私，以及本文一開始我提出的問題。這個我們致力於拯救的世界是否反映了我們多數人需要被拯救的事實? 在我們療癒自己之前，我們有可能療癒這個世界嗎? 如果我們連自己都不愛，我們可能去創造一個全球性的愛嗎?
Perhaps this focus we’ve placed on fixing and healing and saving is misplaced. Perhaps, like the Dalai Lama, the prescribers of this “save the world” philosophy assumed, however incorrectly, that we had already done the business of saving ourselves. Maybe we need to be a little more selfish.
也許我們把要修復、療癒和拯救的對象搞錯了。也許像達賴喇嘛一樣，「拯救世界」的倡導人士誤以為我們自己已經得救了。也許我們應該自私一點才對。
It’s funny what a radical idea that is, right? How saying the word “selfish” is such a controversial topic. I’m sure I’ll get plenty of responses to this post explaining how misguided I am and that I don’t understand. And maybe I don’t. But one thing I learned in business is that extinction comes from continually doing something that’s not working. And as I look around the world, from my mom to the business people I know to the activists I’ve met, we are suffering from a lack of self-love. And that’s why, perhaps, the word selfish is so scary.
這個想法聽起來很不合常理吧? 「自私」這個字一向惹人爭議。我確信這篇文章貼出去後會引發很多迴響，告訴我我是如何地大錯特錯，搞不清楚狀況。也許我是。不過我在企業界學到一件事，一再使用一個沒有用的方法只會帶來毀滅。就我對這個世界的觀察，從我的母親和我認識的企業家到我遇到的改革人士，我知道我們的問題出在缺乏對自己的愛。也許是因為如此，「自私」這個字聽起來才會如此驚悚。
We think so little of our own self worth that we assume if we focused on ourselves and our own well being that the world would be worse off. We actually believe that buried inside us all is a greedy little monster who just cares about itself. But the evidence, as demonstrated by how we treat ourselves, tells a different story. We don’t care about ourselves … and that’s what’s killing us and our planet in aggregate. Our lack of care for ourselves has manifested itself in an unloved world. So a community of people who don’t know how to love themselves “save things” in an attempt to bypass looking in the mirror and in our hearts and loving the scared and lonely being inside.
我們很少把自己看得很重要，所以會認為如果我們太強調自己和自身的需要，這個世界會變得更糟。我們似乎真的相信我們心裏藏著一個貪婪的惡魔，它只關心它自己。但事實上，我們根本不在乎自己…而這就是扼殺我們和地球的罪魁禍首。這個沒有愛的世界不過是反映我們缺乏對自己的愛。所以一群不知道如何愛自己的人忙著拯救這個世界，而不能好好看鏡子裏的自己，看自己的內心，去愛裏面那個神聖而孤單的靈魂。
We deserve better. We deserve to be loved. Breathe and take that in. You, exactly as you are, sitting there reading this article, deserve to be loved. You don’t have to save or fix or change a thing. You deserve to be loved. Breathe…
我們值得更好的待遇。我們值得被愛。吸一口氣，好好想一想。你 -- 就是你 -- 此刻坐在這裏讀這篇文章的你，值得被愛。你不必去拯救或改變任何事。你值得被愛。放鬆地吸一口氣吧…
This week I invite you to stop. I invite you to consider the areas where you help and fix and save others while disregarding your own needs. I invite you to believe you are a beautiful, amazing spark of the divine who when healthy is a blessing to this planet and all who inhabit it. I invite you to love yourself and trust that when you are fully loved you will love your brothers and sisters and the trees and oceans too. And most importantly I invite you to breathe, and to send this message of love that dwells in the breath to each and every cell of your body: “I am here for you. I will never leave you alone. Together we will love ourselves and others.”
這個星期我邀請你停下腳步。我邀請你想一想在那些方面你幫助、修復和拯救了別人，卻忽略了自己的需要。我邀請你開始相信，你是來自天界的一個美麗出色的璀燦之星，你的健康就是地球和它所有子民的福氣。我邀請你開始愛你自己，並且相信當你可以全心全意地愛自己時，你也會愛你的兄弟姐妹、樹木和海洋。最重要的是，我邀請你放鬆地吸一口氣，隨著你的呼吸將這個愛的訊息帶到你全身的每個細胞: 「我隨時在你身邊。我永遠不會丟下你。讓我們一起共同愛自己和別人吧!」
Big hugs of love,
Jason
關心擁抱你的，
傑森
About Jason Garner
Jason Garner is a husband, father, former Fortune 500 company executive, and spiritual student who spent the first 37 years of his life working his way up from flea market parking attendant to CEO of Global Music at Live Nation (the world's largest concert promoter) - never taking a breath in the belief that to be loved he had to be the best. He has worked with rock stars and sports legends and was twice named to Fortune magazine's list of the top 20 highest-paid executives under 40.
關於傑森‧蓋納
傑森‧蓋納是一位人夫、父親和前「財星」雜誌500強企業的執行長，並且是一位靈修學生。在前37年的人生中，他從一個跳蚤市場的停車場小弟爬升至「全球理想國演藝」公司 (世界最大的音樂會行銷公司) 的總裁。這一路走來，他始終相信唯有做到最好，他才能得到別人的愛戴。他曾經和搖滾歌手和體育名人合作過，並且曾兩度進入「財星」雜誌前20名40歲以下企業經理人的高薪名單。
His second divorce and the sudden death of his mother from stomach cancer caused Jason to re-evaluate what mattered in life ... and to finally breathe. He has spent thousands of hours sitting cross-legged with Masters of body, mind and spirit including learning from the monks at the Shaolin Temple in the mountains of China.
他第二次的離婚和罹患胃癌母親的驟逝讓傑森重新思考人生的價值… 終於他想通了。之後他花了數千小時的時間跟隨身心靈大師盤腿靜坐，包括和中國少林寺的師父學習。
My Story / 傑森自述
I spent my first 37 years running through life holding my breath. Raised by a single mom, moving from house to house, working really hard in school and later in business, believing that to be loved I had to be the best.
我戰戰驚驚地度過前半段37年的人生 -- 被單親媽媽帶大，搬了一次又一次的家，我努力學業，為事業奮鬥，因為我相信唯有做到最好，我才配得到別人的愛。
I scrapped my way from a weekend job at a flea market to owning my own concert company and all the way to becoming an executive at a Fortune 500 company. I was married twice, divorced twice, raised two children largely on my own, met rock stars and sports legends, made a bunch of money and then … a series of events centered around the sudden death of my mom brought my life to a halt and my ego to its knees.
我一生白手起家，從周末跳蚤市場的零工，到創立自己的音樂會公司，到後來變成「財星」雜誌500強企業的執行長。我結過兩次婚，離過兩次婚，一手帶大兩個孩子，和搖滾巨星和體育名將合作過，賺了很多錢… 然後一連串的事件，尤其是我母親的驟世，讓我的腳步停下來，讓我的自負跌到谷底。
I took a break from the endless treadmill of my life and got to know myself at the feet of amazing teachers. I studied health and spirituality and the inner-workings of my mind, I met the woman of my dreams, and, for the first time in my life … I breathed.
我將手邊永無止盡的工作停下來，來到大師的跟前學習認識自己。我學習健康的知識和心靈的功課，探究我內在的思考活動，我遇到了我的夢中情人，而且頭一次在我的人生中… 我可以喘一口氣。
That is what this site is about – the perspectives gained by the lessons learned on my journey, and what I continue to discover along the way.
這就是我網頁的內容 – 它包含了我在過去人生旅途上學到的功課以及未來還會有的新發現。
I have learned that life can be a meditation. I believe that every day, everywhere, every act in our life is an opportunity to express our love for others by loving ourselves. I believe that we will change the world only by caring for ourselves, because only a loved soul can shine light on others.
我了解到人生就是一場靜坐。我相信我們人生中的每一天，每一個地方和每一個動作都是一個用愛自己來表達愛別人的機會。我相信唯有關愛自己，我們才能改變世界，因為只有一個被愛的靈魂才能夠照亮別人。
I have learned that we can have money and happiness. I believe that we can be enlightened from wherever we sit, whether that’s an office or an ashram. I believe spirituality is alive in business and business is alive in spirituality and it’s time to recognize the value of both in this world.
我也了解到我們可以同時擁有金錢和快樂。我相信不管我們坐在那裏，辦公室或靈修場所，我們都可以得到啟發。我相信商業可以富有靈性，靈性中也可以富有商業性。我們應該肯定兩者在世上的價值。
And most importantly, I know that all is well because we are not alone. We have been perfectly placed here at this moment for this opportunity to experience life together.
最重要的是，我知道一切都不會有事，因為我們並不孤單。此刻我們正被完美地安置在這裏，有幸一起經歷人生。
* Judy H 譯 *
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愛自己會變成自私嗎 ? (艾妮塔.穆札尼 實況問答2016-8-17 第一集) / Self-love & Selfishness (Anita Moorjani)
愛自己 - 讓這個世界更美 (艾妮塔.穆札尼) / Loving Yourself Makes The World A Better Place (Anita Moorjani)
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