More on Facebook

更多在臉書/ Follow on Facebook

(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 自我和靈性 / Ego & Spirituality


Should we try to get rid of ego in order to become more spiritual?

Find Anita on her website, Facebook page and radio show:

If you are not familiar with Anita’s story, you can watch this video to learn about her near-death experience and how she miraculously recovered from her terminal illness.

 喜歡嗎? 按個讚或分享出去吧 !
Like this video? You can share it with more people 

加入臉書Google+ 追蹤新內容
Follow us on Facebook or Google+

相關內容 / You may also be interested in:

(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 找回自己 (一) / Who Am I (Part 1) [實況問答 9-22-2016]

(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 找回自己 (二) / Who Am I (Part 2) [實況問答 1-18-2017]

⏬ 分享出去吧! 也許有人正需要它 Share to benefit someone ⏬

(視頻) 人生是一首音樂 / Life as Music (Alan Watts 艾倫•沃茲)



艾倫•威爾遜•沃兹(Alan Wilson Watts,1915-1973)是一位生於英國的哲學家、作家和演說家,以為西方聽眾為對象闡述和傳播東方哲學而聞名於世。

Is life a journey with a destination, or like a piece of music or dance that we are supposed to go along with?

Alan Wilson Watts (6 January 1915 – 16 November 1973) was a British philosopher, writer, and speaker, best known as an interpreter and populariser of Eastern philosophy for a Western audience.

** If you need to see English subtitles, please watch this video:

** Thanks to Alex Lang for providing his video information.

音樂 Music: "Meditation Impromptu 02" by Kevin MacLeod is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license (

加入臉書Google+ 追蹤新內容
Follow us on Facebook or Google+

相關內容 / You may also be interested in:

生命的意義到底是什麼? (艾妮塔.穆札尼) / What is the true meaning of life? (Anita Moorjani)

米雅的夢 / Mia’s Dream 

做開心的事,不是浪費時間 / If It Brings You Joy, It’s Not “Wasting Time”  

⏬ 分享出去吧! 也許有人正需要它 Share to benefit someone ⏬

米雅的夢 / Mia’s Dream

我要像這隻鳥一樣開心自在! /  I want to be as free and joyful as this bird !


一個夢… 用一個故事和對話來呈現

A dream … presented in a form of story and conversation.

By Judy H


A big project is going to kick off involving Mia in an overwhelming way. Mia is not sure that she wants to be part of that project. 

在過去近十年,米雅一直從事會計的工作,現任職一家全球頂尖的科技公司。這份工作也許會令不少會計師羨慕 -- 她和一群菁英共事,待遇很好,前途似錦。不過在過去這一年,米雅有個「奇怪」的現象。常常工作到一半,她心裏會冒出一個突兀的感覺,好像在告訴她:「這不是你該做的事。」每次這個感覺一上來,心有所感的米雅會反問:「那我應該做什麼? 我還可以靠什麼維生?」

Mia has been working as an accountant for almost 10 years and is now employed with a top global technology company. That would be a dream job for many accountants – a job where you work with many talents with a good pay and promising career. However, over the past year, Mia has been feeling “funny” about her work. Very often in the middle of doing something, Mia would feel a nudge in her heart that seems to say: “You shouldn’t be doing this.” Every time this little voice comes up, Mia would recognize it and ask back: “But what should I be doing instead? What else can I do to make a living?


When this big project was announced, Mia knew that it was going to create a lot of stress. She is OK being an accountant, but she knows deep down that she is not enthusiastic about accounting. And probably because she is not passionate about crunching numbers, the stress level sometimes is high for her.


Mia is really not looking forward to working on that project, and the more she hears about it, the louder is the nudging voice. While taking some time off, Mia receives an email from her supervisor informing everyone on the team that someone is leaving. “I should be the one who leaves!” Mia shouts out in her head. She can longer ignore the inner voice that tells her to do something else. Three days later when Mia goes back to work, she turns in her resignation letter.

離開一份讓她每天睡眠不足、喘不過氣的工作,頓時讓米雅覺得好自由好輕鬆。不過這種自由開心的感覺沒有維持很久,因為米雅開始為不再分擔家計感到有些罪惡感。她開始思考:「我下一步該怎麼做? 我現在該做什麼?」

It feels liberated and relieved to leave a job that has deprived Mia of so many hours of sleep and stifled her with constant stress. However, the feeling of freedom and joy does not last very long before Mia starts to feel guilty about no longer making a financial contribution to her family. She begins to ponder: “What should I do next? What am I supposed to do now?”


Mia realizes that the voice she has been hearing urges her to do something that she is passionate about. She also believes that she came to this world for a purpose and she wants to make a right choice to fulfill that purpose. However, no matter how hard she tries, she can’t figure it out.


“What if what I like to do doesn’t make any money?” Mia asks the Universe in disappointment. 

她開始在兩個聲音中掙扎: 一個是她的自我,拉開嗓門呼喚她去追求名利,另一個來自她的內心深處,悄悄地向她透露她真正想做的事。米雅在重拾會計和想做的事之間猶豫不決。她很害怕會做出一個錯誤的決定,走上一個不屬於她的道路。

She finds herself struggling with two competing voices – one from her ego that shouts loudly for fame and money, and the other from her heart whispering to her what she really likes. She battles between the ideas of going back to accounting and doing something she likes. She is afraid of making a wrong decision that would lead her astray from her true path.


Her fear starts to grow and eat into her peace. “No, I can’t live with this fear any longer. This is going to kill me,” putting her arms around her head, Mia hears her saying. In order to dispel this fearful thought and calm herself down, she decides to try self-affirmation, by saying to herself: “I am loved; I am guided. I am loved; I am guided.” 

接下來的幾天,米雅每天重覆對自己說這些話。說也奇怪… 它居然發生效果。米雅開始覺得平靜下來,對未來也感到比較放心。

In the following days, Mia repeats this to herself many times a day. And somehow… it works. She begins to feel more peaceful with a sense of trust. 


Then one night she has a dream. In it, she meets someone who answers her nagging questions. She doesn’t know who that person is but she feels that she goes to him for guidance.

米雅: 我不知道該怎麼辦,我需要幫助。我接下來的人生該做什麼? 我人生的目的是什麼?

MIA: I’m confused and need help. What am I supposed to do with my life? What is my purpose?

智者: 你可以做任何你想做的事。做什麼都好。

WISE MAN: You can do whatever you want. It doesn’t matter. 

米雅: 呃-? 這是什麼意思? 我想要做宇宙要我做的事。

MIA: Huh? What do you mean? I want to do what the Universe wants me to do. 

智者: 沒有人有權利告訴你要怎麼做。你對你的人生有完全的主宰權。你的人生在你的手上。這個權利在你身上。無論你選擇做什麼,你的人生都會一樣燦爛美好。你做什麼都可以。

WISE MAN: There is no authority to tell you what you need to do. You have full authority over your life. Your life is in your hands. The power is with you. No matter what you choose to do, your life will always be glorious and magnificent. What you do doesn’t make a difference. 

米雅: 但是我想賺錢,同時做我喜歡的事。

MIA: But I want to make money and do something I enjoy.

智者: 那麼就跟隨你的心意吧。

WISE MAN: Then follow your heart. 

米雅: 如果我喜歡做的事賺不到錢怎麼辦?

MIA: What if what I like doesn’t generate a good income?

智者: 你可以在金錢和快樂兩者間取捨。我不是說這兩者不能共存。但是如果你不能同時擁有兩者,你可以選擇你想經歷什麼。如果你選擇金錢,它會給你某一種經歷,雖然那可能不會很愉快。如果你選擇快樂,你就會經歷快樂。這是一個選擇。

WISE MAN: You can make a choice between money and happiness. I don’t mean that the two cannot co-exist. But if you can’t have both at the same time, you can decide what you want to experience. If you choose money, it will give you one kind of experience, which may be unpleasant. If you choose happiness, you will experience happiness. It’s a choice. 

米雅: 可是要放棄賺錢的念頭很難,畢竟人都要活下去。

MIA: It’s hard to let go of the desire to make money. We all have to live.

智者: 你的心會指引你。跟隨你的心,就是跟隨宇宙的指引。除非你選擇跟隨你的心,否則你不會知道宇宙為你的人生預備了什麼。還有,不要忘記,當你到另外一個世界時,你不會帶走任何一樣物質的東西,你只會帶著你心靈裏的東西

WISE MAN: Your heart is always guiding you. When you follow your heart, you are following that guidance from the Universe. And you don’t know what the Universe has in store for you until you follow it to find out. Besides, keep in mind that you cannot bring any material things with you when you go to the other world. You only bring what’s in your soul with you. 

米雅: 如果我作了錯誤的選擇怎麼辦?

MIA: What if I make a mistake in my choice?

智者: 沒有錯誤這回事,一切都只是體驗。如果你不喜歡某個體驗,你可以創造不同的體驗。沒有人會評斷你,沒有對和錯。你來這裏是為了體驗,是為了儘量讓自己開心。沒有什麼事是你該做或不該做的。沒有任何標準來衡量你,沒有你需要達到的目標,除非你選擇要有。所有你認為你必須達到的標準都是你的社會,這個物質世界所設定的。你是一個自由的靈魂,不受任何規範的約束。

WISE MAN: There are no mistakes. They are all just experiences. If you don’t like one experience, you can create a different one. There is no one to judge you. There is no right or wrong. You are here to experience and to have fun if you can, and there are no certain things you should or shouldn’t do. There are no criteria to measure you with; there are no goals you need to achieve unless you choose to have them. All the criteria that you think you have to meet are created by your society, the physical world. You are a free soul that is not limited by any criteria. 

米雅: 你是說,即使我失敗了也不用責怪自己嗎?

MIA: Are you saying that I shouldn’t judge myself, even when I fail? 

智者: 也沒有失敗這回事。像一個學走路的孩子,如果他跌倒了,你會說他失敗了嗎? 你會責備他跌倒嗎? 如果他一再跌倒,你會對他失去耐心嗎?

WISE MAN: There is also no such thing as failure. Like a child who is learning to walk, if she falls, would you call that a failure? Would you blame her for falling? And if she falls again and again, would you lose patience with her? 

米雅: 但可能我的決定將來會為我自己帶來很大的痛苦。

MIA: But I could end up making a choice that would give me a lot of grief. 

智者: 那也沒有關係。那只是一個體驗,那個體驗會帶領你到另一個體驗,然後另一個體驗等等。你的體驗不會是永久的,你可以改變它。

所有的體驗都是同樣真切和重要的。無論你是積極地在完成一件事,或是安靜地坐在一旁發呆,你都是在「充實地」過日子。人生中沒有那一段時間是比其他時間重要的。你做的事並不重要,重要的是你的心境 -- 如果你的目的是要在這世上享有平安和喜樂。如果你有平安喜樂,你生命的每一刻都是光彩奪目,可喜可賀。

WISE MAN: That’s OK. That would just be another experience. That experience will lead you to the next experience, and the next experience, etc. Your experience is not permanent so you can change it. 

All experiences are equally true and important. Whether you are “productive” in getting something done or you are simply sitting there quietly with yourself doing nothing, in either case you are living your life FULLY. No specific time in your life is more important than other times. It’s not what you do that’s important, it’s your state of mind that matters, if you want to experience peace and joy in your world. If you have peace and joy, every moment of your life is glorious and worth celebrating. 

米雅: 如何才能擁有平安和喜樂?

MIA: How do I have peace and joy?

智者: 它們來自你的內心。所以你要認識你的心,然後緊緊地跟隨它。

WISE MAN: They come from your heart. So you need to know your heart and follow it closely. 

米雅: 認識心的什麼?

MIA: What to know about my heart?

智者: 認識你喜歡做什麼,什麼會讓你開心,了解主宰生命的力量在你的心裏。

WISE MAN: To know what you like to do and what makes you happy. To know that the power is within you. 

米雅: 但有時要跟隨自己的心意很難,因為我耽心別人會怎麼看我,我不喜歡和別人不一樣。

MIA: But sometimes it’s hard to follow my heart because I’m afraid of what other people would think of me. I don’t like to be different. 

智者: 那很正常,因為你是這樣被培育長大的。我剛才說過,你是來這裏體驗的。有些時候你會覺得很難做你自己,但是你總會有下一刻或下一個機會去嘗試不同的作法。這是為什麼生命的每一刻都是恩賜,因為在每一刻你都可以隨意去創造。如果這一刻你很生氣,下一刻你可以選擇平靜下來。

WISE MAN: That is normal because you were brought up that way. Again, you are here to experience. There will be times when you feel uncomfortable being yourself, but you always have the next moment or opportunity to do it differently. That’s why every moment of your life is a gift because in it you get to create what you want to create. If you are angry this moment, you can choose to have peace the next moment. 

米雅: 我不確定生命是一個恩賜。

MIA: I’m not sure that I see life as a gift. 

智者: 如果你能夠做你自己並且做你喜歡的事,你的人生會開始變得有意義,會開始感覺像一份恩賜。 

WISE MAN: If you can be yourself and do things you like to do, your life will become meaningful and start to feel like a gift. 


The Wise Man starts to fade away….


As Mia is waking up from her dream, she is feeling very euphoric. The feeling she experienced in her dream was very profound and it takes Mia a couple of weeks to understand all its meanings. 


The inner struggle Mia had is finally over. She starts to see herself as a free spirit – free to follow her heart and make her own decisions and free of any judgment and limits. 


關於作/譯者 Judy H
因為不認識自己,不知道愛自己,一直走在尋覓療癒的路上,然後認識了艾妮塔‧穆札尼。聽到她的訊息有分享的衝動,於是建立了這個網站幫助自己也幫助別人。對認識心靈和愛自己的內容特別感興趣。喜歡寫譯相關文章,和志同道合的人分享,讓更多的人陪我一起走在這條讓人興奮感動的路上 😊

About Judy H
Coming from a place where I didn’t know myself, not to mention loving myself, I have been on a quest to heal myself until I came to know Anita Moorjani. When I did, I felt the urge to share her message. Therefore, I created this blog to help myself and other people. I am interested in getting to know my soul and learning to love it. I like to translate and write inspiring stories and share them with like-minded people so that I have company on this exciting and loving journey 😊

臉書Google+ 追蹤新內容
Follow us on Facebook or Google+

相關文章 / You may also like to read:

生命的意義到底是什麼? (艾妮塔.穆札尼) / What is the true meaning of life? (Anita Moorjani)

做開心的事,不是浪費時間 / If It Brings You Joy, It’s Not “Wasting Time” 
認識你的「心靈知己」 / Know Your "Soul Mate"

挑花生教給我的平安 / What Picking Peanuts Taught Me About Inner Peace

⏬ 分享出去吧! 也許有人正需要它 Share to benefit someone ⏬

(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 找回自己 (二) / Who Am I (Part 2) [實況問答 1-18-2017]



1. 憂鬱症的主因
2. 向內探究,勇敢作夢
3. 對沒有組織條理的生活感到自在
4. 關於「心理超越物質」和「吸引力法則」
5. 真愛在那裏?
6. 痛苦的人生值得去過嗎?
7. 自殺的人會遭遇什麼?


In this Q&A video, Anita touches on the following topics:
1. What causes depression in most cases?
2. Turn INWARD and dream BIG
3. Let’s get comfortable with no labels and structure
4. About “Mind Over Matter” and “Law of Attraction”
5. How to find true love?
6. Is life with pain worth it?
7. What happens to people who commit suicide?

Happy people will never choose to leave this world. Those who did must have gone through enormous pain. Sincerely hope that Anita's words will bring any comfort to their families, and at the same time, encourage us to open our minds to those in suffering by listening to them and offering whatever help we can.

視頻來源 / Source:

Anita's website, Facebook page and radio show:

If you are not familiar with Anita’s story, you can watch this video to learn about her near-death experience and how she miraculously recovered from her terminal illness.

邀請您加入「心靈傳譯」臉書Google+ 追蹤新內容
Follow us on Facebook or Google+

相關內容 / You may also be interested in:

(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 找回自己 (一) / Who Am I (Part 1) [實況問答 9-22-2016]

認識你的「心靈知己」 / Know Your "Soul Mate"

(視頻) 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 人間天堂之路 (中文字幕) / What If This Is Heaven

⏬ 分享出去吧! 也許有人正需要它 Share to benefit someone ⏬

老師給愛迪生的信 / A Letter from Thomas Edison's Teacher (中文字幕)


Always have faith in yourself, no matter what other people say.

來源: 「正面的力量」/ 轉載於艾妮塔‧穆札尼網頁
A video from "Power of Positivity" shared via Anita Moorjani's page

Power of Positivity:

邀請您加入「心靈傳譯」臉書Google+ 追蹤新內容
Follow us on Facebook or Google+

相關貼文 / You may also like:

(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 找回自己 / Who Am I [實況問答 9-22-2016]

美麗的敗筆: 所謂的成功對孩子的傷害 / Why we shouldn’t stress about our children’s academic success

(視頻) 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 人間天堂之路 (中文字幕) / What If This Is Heaven 

⏬ 分享出去吧! 也許有人正需要它 Share to benefit someone ⏬

轉念遇到愛 (二) – 凱蒂的「功課」 / Turn Around and Find Love (Part II) – The Work

愛 – 無需追求,它就在你心裏 
Stop Seeking Love and Start Finding It 

Source: Experience Life Magazine (July – Sept 2007 edition)
文章來源 : 體驗生活雜誌 (2007年7-9月號)

By Anne Geske
作者: 安妮‧賈絲柯 (作家)

Dissatisfied with your relationships? Longing for greater closeness and appreciation from others? Maybe you’re working a little too hard to win the happiness already within your grasp. 

對你的親密關係不滿意嗎? 渴望和別人更親近,得到他們的肯定嗎? 其實你努力追求的快樂就近在呎尺。 

Lea Ann Paradise was in love. She was dating Bob (not his real name) a few years ago and was working overtime to make the relationship blossom. There was just one tiny problem: He didn’t love her back.

莉雅‧安‧白瑞戴思曾在戀愛中。她和包柏 (非真名) 在幾年前交往時,她很認真地想讓那段關係開花結果。但是有個小問題: 包柏並不愛她。

“I wanted Bob to love me,” Paradise recalls. “I wanted him to show me that he loved me, and that wasn’t happening.” She was convinced that she could be happy only if Bob would return her love. It wasn’t until long after the two went their separate ways that Paradise began to realize that her happiness depended far less on someone else’s affections than it did on her own frame of mind.


Like Paradise, many of us believe that we’ll be happy once we win the love, intimacy and approval of those around us. So we work hard to curry favor with others; we worry about what others feel and think. In the process, we open ourselves to a lot of heartache and anxiety. We also convince ourselves that our happiness depends on others’ actions and attitudes — when in fact it depends on what we, ourselves, think and believe.

和莉雅一樣,我們很多人相信,一旦我們獲得周圍人的愛、親密關係和認同,我們就會很快樂。於是我們努力去迎合別人,我們擔心別人的感覺和看法。在這個過程裏,我們很容易讓自己受到傷害和產生焦慮。我們也讓自己相信,我們的快樂是受別人的行為和態度來左右 — 而事實上,它是由我們自己的想法和信念所決定。

The notion that we need to win people over is ingrained in our culture. Many of us “stage-manage” what we say and how we act in front of someone important to us. We nervously watch for signs that we’re succeeding. Afterward, we mentally rewind the conversation and judge our performance.


That’s a lot of work for something we really can’t control. And quite frankly, we don’t need to bother, says Byron Katie, author of I Need Your Love — Is That True? How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead (Harmony Books, 2005).

對於我們無法控制的事,這實在很花功夫。而且坦白說,我們不必如此,「我需要你的愛。這是真的嗎?:四個問句改變愛的關係」一書的作者拜倫‧凱蒂表示 (英文版於2005年由 Harmony Books出版) 

Seeking love and approval from others simply doesn’t work, says Katie. “We stand in front of a person, we imagine what they want us to sound like, and we put on a facade in order to win their approval,” she explains. “And then when they say something like, ‘I approve of you,’ part of us doesn’t really believe it because we know they’re approving of a facade.”

尋求別人的愛和認同是沒有用的,凱蒂表示。「當我們站在人前,我們會想像他們希望我們說什麼,然後我們戴上一個面具來贏取他們的認同。」她解釋。「如果他們說 『我肯定你了』 之類的話,我們其實也不會全然相信,因為我們明白他們肯定的是一只面具。」

Even if our act is successful, we still aren’t entirely happy. Why? Because the more we focus on what the other person is thinking, the less we are present for our own thoughts and feelings, and to the real relationship that exists between us. “The irony,” Katie notes, “is that the struggle to win love and approval makes it impossible to have them.”

即使我們真的達到目的,我們仍然 不會開心。為什麼? 因為我們越把注意力放在對方的看法上,我們會越忽略我們自身的想法和感受,以及兩人間真正的互動關係。「諷剌的是,」 凱蒂說,「努力去追求愛和認同反而讓我們得不到。

Question Your Thoughts 

At the heart of Katie’s work is the idea that when we believe our stressful thoughts, we suffer, but when we question them, we don’t. Confused thoughts, Katie says, are the cause of all stressful feelings — which, in turn, cause unkind, crazy-making behaviors that often contribute to our own unhappiness.

凱蒂的中心思想是,如果我們認同不愉快的想法,我們就會痛苦; 如果我們質疑它們,我們會得到解脫。凱蒂說,混淆不清的想法是所有不愉快情緒的主因,它們導致惡意和瘋狂的行為,讓我們很不快樂。

“The way the mind works,” says Katie, “is that it thinks, for example, ‘I’m unhappy.’ Something wonderful may be happening around us, but the mind is busy proving that thought: ‘I’m unhappy,’” she says. “The mind’s job is to look only for what will validate that belief.”

「念頭是這樣運作的,」凱蒂說,「比如它會這麼想 『我不快樂』。」也許我們周遭正發生一件很棒的事,但是我們的念頭忙著證明我們的想法: 「我不快樂,」她說。「念頭只會尋找對它有利的證據。

Until we are willing to challenge our thoughts, we’re stuck in a desperate cycle of seeking and not receiving. In the process, we become largely incapable of enjoying the real love and appreciation that’s coming our way.


Challenging Reality 

To help people transform their false thoughts, Katie has developed a set of four questions she calls “The Work” (see “Get Real With Your Relationships,” below, and the article “Coming to Terms” in the October 2004 archives for more info on The Work).

凱蒂發展了一套包含四個問題的方法,來幫助人們轉變錯誤的想法,她把這些問題稱為「功課」 。(請參考下面「 發現人際關係的真相」段落和提供的網站得到更多資訊)。

Katie’s questions first challenge the verity of the thoughts that are causing us trouble; then they invite us to look at how we act under their influence. The final question invites us to consider who we might be without our troubling notions. In most cases, we find we would be free to act and relate differently — and in a way far more likely to create satisfaction for ourselves and others.


The next step in The Work is to create a “turnaround.” This involves reversing the original idea in various ways to create new perspectives. Turnarounds tend to reveal elements of reality (and relationships) that seem obvious once we’ve lit on them. They can also reveal the extent to which we are investing our emotional energy in false notions that may themselves be making us miserable.


For Paradise, as an example, the distressing thought “I need him to love me” first got turned around to become “I don’t need him to love me.” This rang surprisingly true, she realized, because “it appears he doesn’t love me, and I’m still breathing.” After working through more turnarounds and their associated epiphanies, she tried: “I need me to love me.” That last statement seemed especially right-on to Paradise, who realized her energy was better spent being “at home with myself, instead of having my attention on him.”

就莉雅的例子來說,這個煩惱的念頭「我需要他愛我」首先可以轉念成「我 需要他愛我。」她發現這個想法居然很真實,因為「很顯然地,他並 愛我,但我還在呼吸。」經過幾次不同的轉念和新發現,她嘗試:「我需要 來愛我。」這最後的陳述對莉雅有如當頭棒喝,她發現她把精神花在「待在家裏和自己在一起」要比「把注意力放在他身上」好得多。 

What she ultimately discovered, she says, is that she was quite capable of loving herself, and that she was “whole, whether someone else loved me or not.”


Building Authentic Connections 

Psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of Opening Love’s Door: The Seven Lessons (iUniverse, 2004), has found Katie’s questions so helpful that she has incorporated a variation of them into her relationship classes. “Katie’s approach helps you realize that these anxiety-provoking thoughts about whether or not another person likes you or loves you are really just projections of your own negative self-judgment,” Kirschner says.

心理學家戴安娜‧柯絲諾博士,也是「打開愛的心門: 七件功課」一書的作者(2004年iUniverse出版),發現凱蒂的問題非常有用,於是將它們稍作改變納入她的人際關係課程裏。「凱蒂的方法幫助我們了解這些焦慮的念頭,擔心別人是否喜歡你或愛你,只是我們負面自我批判的投射而已,」柯絲諾博士表示。 

Once you examine these thoughts, she adds, you see that they don’t serve you. “You stop enacting this behavioral pattern that’s really self-defeating, and you start enacting a behavioral pattern that is validating.”


Over time, Paradise says, Katie’s approach has helped her engage more authentically. Whether meeting someone new or talking to an old friend, she says, “I’m here now. I’m open and present. I get to experience the person in front of me instead of my story about them.”


That’s what it’s all about, says Katie: “If you approve of yourself, you can approach people totally, without seeking approval. You realize that their reaction has to do with who they believe you are, not with who you really are. So their approval is just icing on the cake, because you already have what’s most important: your own love.”

這就是重點,凱蒂說:「如果你肯定自己,你就可以很自在地和別人相處,不需要尋求他們的認同。因為你了解,別人的反應不過是反映他們自己對你的看法,和真正的你無關。所以他們的認同只是像蛋糕上的糖霜, 因為你已經擁有了最重要的東西: 你給自己的愛。」

Get Real With Your Relationships 

When you feel upset about a relationship, notice the thoughts running through your head, and write down the one that is most disconcerting at that moment. For instance, “She hasn’t called me back; that means she doesn’t care about me.” Now ask these questions:

1. Is it true?
2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do I react when I believe that thought?
4. Who or what would I be without that thought?

當你對一段人際關係感到不安時,請留意你當時的念頭,將最令你不安的想法寫下來。例如,「她沒有回我電話; 這表示她不再關心我了。」然後回答以下這些問題: 

1. 這是真的嗎? 
2. 我確信這是真的嗎? 
3. 如果我相信這個念頭,我會做什麼反應? 
4. 如果我沒有這個念頭,我會是誰? 

Next, turn the thought around and find three genuine examples of how each turnaround might be true. In the above example, one turnaround might be “She does care about me.” Another might be “I don’t care about me.”

接下來,將這個念頭翻轉一下,找到三個可能真實的「轉念」。就這個例子來說,一個轉念可能是「她 關心我的。」另一個可能是「 不關心我。」 

Be willing to challenge the thoughts that trouble you, and you’ll start finding more constructive courses of thought and action that serve you better.


Reprinted with permission from I Need Your Love — Is That True? How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead by Byron Katie (Harmony Books, 2005). 

經過刊載許可 -- 拜倫‧凱蒂的著作「我需要你的愛。這是真的嗎?:四個問句改變愛的關係」 (英文版於2005年由 Harmony Books出版) 

譯者註: 中文版 – 提供給有興趣的中文讀者

Katie’s Story

Byron Katie, founder of The Work, has one job: to teach people how to end their own suffering. As she guides people through the powerful process of inquiry she calls The Work, they find that their stressful beliefs—about life, other people, or themselves—radically shift and their lives are changed forever. Based on Byron Katie's direct experience of how suffering is created and ended, The Work is an astonishingly simple process, accessible to people of all ages and backgrounds, and requires nothing more than a pen, paper, and an open mind.


拜 倫‧凱蒂創辦了「功課」,她只有一個目的: 教導人們如何不再自尋煩惱。在她的引導下經歷這個她稱為「功課」的強大探究過程之後,很多人發現他們不愉快的念頭 – 對人生、其他人或他們自己 – 發生很大的轉變,生命也從此不一樣。這門「功課」是根據拜倫‧凱蒂親身經歷痛苦的產生及結束所創造的,它是一個極為簡單的過程,任何人不分年齡和背景都可 以使用,而且只需要一枝筆、一張紙和一個開放的心。 

Through this process, anyone can learn to trace unhappiness to its source and deal with it there. Katie (as everyone calls her) not only shows us that all the problems in the world originate in our thinking: she gives us the tool to open our minds and set ourselves free.

透過這個過程,任何人都可以去追溯不愉快的根源,然後對症下藥。凱蒂 (一般人對她的稱呼) 不僅讓我們明白所有的問題都來自我們的念頭,並且提供了一個幫助我們敞開心門和解脫的方法。

How The Work Began

Byron Katie became severely depressed in her early thirties. For almost a decade she spiraled down into rage, self-loathing, and constant thoughts of suicide. For the last two years she was often unable to leave her bedroom. Then one morning in February 1986, she experienced a life-changing realization. There are various names for an experience like this. Katie calls it “waking up to reality.”


In that instant, she says,


I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn't believe them, I didn't suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always.


She realized that what had been causing her depression was not the world around her, but the beliefs she'd had about the world. Instead of hopelessly trying to change the world to match her thoughts about how it should be, she could question these thoughts and, by meeting reality as it is, experience unimaginable freedom and joy. As a result, a bedridden, suicidal woman was instantly filled with love for everything life brings.


The Work, Katie's process of self-inquiry, didn't develop from this experience; she says that it woke up with her, as her, that February morning in 1986. The first people who did The Work reported that it had transformed their lives, and she soon began receiving invitations to teach the process publicly.


Since 1986, she has brought The Work to millions of people across the world, at free public events, in prisons, hospitals, churches, corporations, universities, schools, at weekend workshops, at her amazing nine-day School for The Work, and through the Institute for The Work.


Are you ready to change your thinking and your world? Everything you need to do The Work is available free on this website.

你也準備好要改變你的念頭和世界了嗎? 你可以在這個網站免費得到一切這門「功課」的資源。 

* Judy H 譯 * 


~ Additional Info~

If you are interested, you can find everything about the Work at this website: (in English and different languages)

~ 補充資訊 ~

「功課」官方網站 : (英文、中文簡體和其他各國語言) 

台灣推廣網站: (中文繁體) 

邀請您加入「心靈傳譯」臉書Google+ 追蹤新內容
Follow us on Facebook or Google+

相關文章 /  You may also like :

轉念遇到愛 (一) / Turn Around and Find Love (Part I)
為什麼我不再取悅別人 / What to Do When Your Need to Please Is Ruining Your Life

心理的故事: 我在抗拒什麼 ? Give Your Resisting Thought A Chance

⏬ 分享出去吧! 也許有人正需要它 Share to benefit someone ⏬

轉念遇到愛 (一) / Turn Around and Find Love (Part I)

也許我們渴望得到別人的認同是因為,在我們內心深處我們已先對他們有愛? 這份愛的能量只是被尋求認同的自我中心意識所掩蓋。也許這是為什麼我們越愛一個人,我們越希望得到他們的認同? 
Is it possible that the reason we seek other people’s approval is because deep in us, we have love for them first? The love is just obscured by the dominating ego to win people’s approval. Maybe this is why that the more we love a person, the stronger our desire to have their approval?

~ Judy H


文章來源 / Source:

By Grace Bell
作者: 葛蕾思‧培爾

Dear Inquirers,


Yesterday I received a call from the company who rented a lodge to me last weekend asking if I had seen a couple of items that belonged in the kitchen.

昨天我接到一通電話, 是上周末把小木屋租給我的那家公司打來的,問我有沒有看到廚房裏的兩件物品。 

I recognized them immediately. They were in my home, instead of where they should be back in the kitchen lodge. I thought they were left at the lodge by friends and family.


An innocent mistake, and easy to return the items....

一個無心的過失,很輕易就可以物歸原主 …. 

And yet, here came that little idea in the mind "she thought I was stealing, I should have been more careful, now we have to drive 2 hours to return them, we've left a bad impression..."


The urge to impress others enters our consciousness in such subtle little moments. There is a fear that those people out there won't approve of us, don't like us, aren't agreeing with us. We become afraid that we'll be rejected, even by a look, a comment, a thought.


In her book I Need Your Love, Is It True? Byron Katie talks about the quick automatic response that many of us have to say "Excuse Me!" or "Sorry!" to strangers, to apologize, to make sure they are thinking well of us.


What would be the worst that could happen if we didn't have good manners? If we didn't explain ourselves? If we didn't defend ourselves or try to make a good impression?


What if you weren't concerned with what others think and you simply responded to a situation truthfully and authentically?


In my imagination I have believed that if someone thought I was rude, immature, immoral, mean, selfish or that I don't care about them...then they might hurt me.

在我的想像裏,我曾經認為如果有人覺得我態度不好、不成熟、不道德、卑鄙、 自私或不關心別人,他們可能會讓我受到傷害。 

They would leave me or attack me. They would punish me. They would tell other people how awful I am and those people would also separate from me. They would never rent the lodge to me again!!


If someone thought I behaved terribly, then I should feel guilt, shame, embarrassment and sadness. If someone didn't like me or thought I did something wrong (like steal a bowl from the kitchen) then I deserved their suspicion or wrath. My fault.

如果有人認為我的行為不當,我應該覺得歉疚、羞愧、難為情、傷心。如果有人不喜歡我或認為我做錯了事 (像是偷了廚房的碗),我就該被他們懷疑和責難。是我的錯。

Ultimately, I would be alone burning in a fiery pit. Hell. If they thought I was a bad person, then I was.


I remember when my former husband told me he was moving out. I was overwhelmed with the thought that I was worthy of being left. I was terrified, then furious, but crushed because I instantly believed it must be true.


Who was the one who believed that thought that I was unworthy? Me. 

是誰相信了這個念頭,認為我一文不值? 是我自己。 

A simple question is asked. Someone says "Did you take my thing?" and FEAR is the response. Someone says "When were you going to clean up this mess?" or "I thought you were spending the evening with me" or "We need to talk" and we're on alert.

有人問了一個簡單的問題: 「你拿了我的東西嗎?」我們的反應是恐懼。有人說「你什麼時候才會去收拾乾淨?」或「我以為你今晚會陪我的」或「我們需要談一談」,我們會立刻提高警覺。

The solution? Sit down and question the belief "I want them to like me, I want them to approve of me"...."I did something wrong".

有什麼解決方法嗎? 讓我們坐下來質疑這個念頭:「我要他們喜歡我,我要他們接受我」 …「我做錯了事」。 

When you turn these concepts around, you do not have to fear that you will be a cold, disinterested, rude or uncaring person. You will find that what is true is that you want to approve of THEM and to like THEM, even when they are apparently confronting you or expressing criticism.


I want to accept every word, situation, action as reality and bring love to it. I want to love, not hate.


Most of all, I want to approve of myself and like myself. I am my most important relationship, after all.


Here's the wonderful thing: your most deeply truthful and automatic response to others asking you questions, or communicating with you about something worrisome, or confronting you when they are love.

(有了這份轉念後) 最棒的是: 當別人來質問你,向你過問一件不安的事,或生氣地來責問你時,你內心深處最真實的當下反應會是 …. 愛。

 "Who would you be without the thought that you need to seek approval? You might be someone who just lives your life and lets people form whatever impressions they want to form---of you and of everyone else. That's what they're all doing anyway."~ Byron Katie

「如果你沒有想讓別人接受你的念頭,你會是誰? 你也許就是過你自己的日子,隨便他們怎麼看你或其他人。反正他們總是會有自己的想法。」 ~ 拜倫‧凱蒂 

The only thing that is stressful in any situation with another person is my thinking. Without believing the thoughts that I need them to have a good impression of me, I am free. 


I find advantages in how other people are. I love them being who they are, I love myself. I am ready for the next step, it's a big adventure.


Here I am, not believing my stressful thoughts. Happy. Planning a fun drive back to the lodge to return the missing stuff.




About Grace Bell

Grace Bell first encountered a need to heal from very painful thinking when still a teenager. This started a journey of self-discovery, seeking, riding a roller-coaster of emotions and thoughts, and studying. She received several therapy treatments in the 1980’s and eventually became a therapist and counselor herself following her studies in the graduate school and completion of a number of training programs. She joined a Course In Miracles study group over a period of 20 years. In 2008 Grace graduated from both the Certification Program for The Work of Byron Katie with The Institute for The Work after many hours of training and attendance over three years, and Accomplishment Coaching, a one-year Life Coach Certification program. Grace has since helped many people from all over the world.



* Judy H 譯 *

邀請您加入「心靈傳譯」臉書Google+ 追蹤新內容
Follow us on Facebook or Google+

相關文章 /  You may also like :

為什麼我不再取悅別人 / What to Do When Your Need to Please Is Ruining Your Life

心理的故事: 我在抗拒什麼 ? Give Your Resisting Thought A Chance

如果能了解那宇宙之愛 (艾妮塔) / If Only We Knew We Are Loved (Anita Moorjani) 

⏬ 分享出去吧! 也許有人正需要它 Share to benefit someone ⏬