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「無所事事」的力量 / Let Go of Shoulds and Stress and Let Yourself Do Nothing


“When you try to control everything, you enjoy nothing. Sometimes you just need to relax, breathe, let go and live in the moment.” ~Unknown

「當你想掌控一切時,你便失去了所有的樂趣。有時你必須放鬆、喘口氣、放開,就只活在當下。」~ 無名氏

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By Megan Cain
作者: 梅可‧坎恩

I am a recovering doing addict. My whole life I have been committed to getting things done. I do, do, do until I can’t do no more.

我是一個在療癒中的「做事狂」。我畢生的目標就是要把事情做完。我不停地做、做、做,一直到我做不動為止。

I have a very clear memory of myself in college, sitting at an evening lecture. I am not paying attention at all. I am writing a huge, long to-do list on the back of a blue folder.

我清楚地記得有次我在大學裏上一堂晚課,但我根本沒在聽講。我忙著在一個藍色文件夾的背面製造一長串的待辦事項清單。

Things keep popping into my mind, things that must get done right away. I must capture them on this folder so they don’t escape me. All that matters is the list in that moment. I don’t listen to a word that is being said.

要做的事不斷在我腦海中出現,而且那些事必須馬上辦完。我必須在忘記前趕緊將它們寫在這個文件夾上。當時對我最重要的就是那張清單。老師講的課 - 我一句也沒聽進去。

Scraps of memories like this one, some from earlier in my life, remind me that I have always been like this. This way of moving (or running?) through my life is not new. It is woven into the fabric of my being. And it has worked well for me in a lot of ways.

這樣的記憶,包括一些更早期的往事,讓我發現我一直以來是這樣過日子的。這種趕鴨子的生活方式對我並不新鮮。它早已變成我性格的一部份,而且在很多方面其實對我還蠻有幫助的。

I have lived in different cities, held many jobs, traveled all over the world, and started my own business. But there’s a darker flip side to it too, one that drives me into a frenzy of action more often than not. I am growing weary of it. It’s exhausting—the doing and the shoulds and the have tos.

我曾經住過不同的國家,做過不同的工作,到世界各地旅行,甚至創辦了自己 的事業。但這一切卻有個黑暗面,因為我經常陷入馬不停蹄的瘋狂行動中。我開始覺得有些厭倦,對「做事」、「應該」和「必須」這種事感到疲乏。

About a year ago I decided I wanted to change the way I am in the world. I wanted to transform myself from someone who was always stressed out and striven toward the next thing to a centered, joyful, fun, and more loving person.

大約在一年前我決定要改變我存在這個世界的方式。我想把自己從一個常常緊繃,不斷追趕下一件事的人,變成一個淡定、開心、風趣和更有愛心的人。

I had recently started my own business and was feeling devastated that I wasn’t enjoying it. Just like every other job I’d had, I was working myself into a stressful mess each day. I was at the end of my rope and didn’t know what to do. When I spoke with my life coach that week, I shared that I felt like I needed to be broken wide open for things to change.

那時我才剛創業不久,但因為工作並不開心,讓我覺得很沮喪。就像之前的其他工作一樣,我每天都把自己搞得緊張兮兮,焦頭爛額。後來我覺得精疲力竭,不知道如何是好。那個星期我向我的生活教練請益,我告訴她我覺得我必須開腸破肚徹底改造,我才可能改變我的生活方式。

During our session that day she suggested I put everything on hold and carve out a week to just be. No work, no doing, no nothing—just being. “But,” I proclaimed, “what am I supposed to do?” And she replied, “Well, Megan, you’ll just have to figure that out.”

在那天的對話中,她建議我放下所有的事,騰出一星期讓自己安靜下來。不要工作,什麼都不要做,什麼都不要想,就只是單純地存在。「但是,」我很正色地問,「那我要什麼呢?」她回答:「梅可,那是你要去發覺的事。」

I trusted her deeply and she had never led me astray. Plus, I was desperate. So I decided to go along on this adventure and deemed it the “Week of Being.” I wasn’t sure what to do that first day, so I went to the movies. I figured I’d ease myself into the whole doing nothing thing with some mindless entertainment.

我對她十分信任,因為她從未讓我走過錯路。況且,我實在太需要幫助了。於是我決定放手一搏,把那個星期當作是我的「存在週」。第一天我不知道該做什麼,所以我去看了場電影。我想用一些不用大腦的娛樂活動讓自己慢慢進入那個什麼也不做的狀態。

I sat in silence a lot that week. I meditated, listened to music and Buddhist teachings, took walks, read, and laid on the floor of my living room doing absolutely nothing. Slowly, I felt the stress and anxiety fall away. It dawned on me that none of the things I told myself I had to do in life were real. They were all completely self-fabricated.

那一個星期我常常獨自安靜地坐著。我靜坐、聆聽音樂和佛學教導、散步、閱讀、躺在客廳的地板上,真的什麼都不做。慢慢地,我覺得身上的壓力和焦慮感開始消退。我發現過去我告訴自己必須要做的每一件事,沒有一件是真的。它們完全是我捏造的。

At the end of the Week of Being, I had a vision of myself in the middle of a labyrinth. I looked down and in my hand I was holding a smooth black stone. I had arrived at the center, and when I looked around I realized there was nothing there…nothing but me.

在「存在週」接近尾聲時,我彷彿看到自己站在一個迷宮的中央。我低下頭,看到我手裏握著一顆光滑的黑石。我已經來到中心點。我舉目四望,發現周圍什麼也沒有,只有我自己

In my journal from that day I wrote, “I had it backward these thirty-eight years. I thought the doing was what was most important. So the doing often led me down a path of anxiety and stress and even more doing. But it’s in the being where all of the answers lie. Taking care of myself, being in the present, accepting the now—that’s the answer. It’s the only thing I need to focus on. The rest of life will fall into place.”

在那天的日記裏,我寫下:「三十八年來我本末倒置了。我以為最重要的是去「做」,但不停地做只為我製造了焦慮、壓力和更多要做的事。而其實真正重要的是學會如何『存在』。照顧好自己,活在當下,接受現狀,這才是人生的至寶。我只需要做到這件事,其他一切自然就會各得其所。」

It was a powerful week. It has shifted me onto a path of allowing more being into my life and letting go of some of the doing. It’s a simple concept really, but it’s not always easy.

那是個讓我震撼的一週。因為那一個禮拜的經驗,我開始在生活中注入了更多「存在」的時間,把一些該做的事放掉了。這個概念聽起來很簡單,其實沒那麼容易。

It takes practice every day and sometimes I forget the lessons. But I am committed to this process, however long it may take. I know how to get things done, after all, even changing myself.

它需要不斷地練習和提醒自己。雖然有時我還是會忘記學到的這門功課,但我已經下定決心要學會它,不管需要花多長時間。畢竟,我是個「做事魔人」,改變自己這件事也難不倒我。


Lessons from the Week of Being
「存在週」給我的領悟

You can change yourself.
你可以改變自己。

If you have a vision of who you’d like to become and are committed to the work, change is possible.

如果你想重新塑造自己,並且下定決心去做,改變是可能的。


Do less. Be more.
少做點事,多點存在。

Practice the art of doing nothing. Take some time each day to lie on the couch or stare out the window. When waiting for a friend at a coffee shop or riding the bus, just sit and do nothing. Don’t fill every moment with action.

常常練習「無所事事」的藝術。每天花點時間躺在沙發上或凝視窗外。在咖啡店等朋友或坐公車的時候,就靜靜地坐在那裏,什麼也不要做。不要用行動將每分每秒填得滿滿的。


Change is not a linear process.
改變的過程不是線性的。

Sometimes you may find yourself reverting back to your old habits and patterns. This is normal. Change doesn’t happen all at once. The good news is that every time you have a relapse, it feels worse and worse. This means you are changing! Get back on course and be easy on yourself.

有時你會發現自己又落入過去的習性。這很正常,改變不會在一夕之間發生。不過好消息是,每次你故態復萌時,你的感覺會越來越糟糕。這表示你已經在改變了! 你只需要用一個善待自己的心態重新回到正軌就可以了。


When you take care of yourself, you are a better person.
當你把自己照顧好時,你會成為更好的人

Taking time to care for yourself will help you have more energy for others. When you are calm and centered you are a better partner, sister, friend, and parent.

花點時間善待自己會讓你有更多的精力去面對別人。當你冷靜沈穩時,你會是一個更好的伴侶、姐妹、朋友和父母。


Allow your actions to arise from a place of centered being.
讓行動發自於一個平靜的內在中心點。

Mindful action is far more powerful than flitting from thing to thing. When you live your life from a deep place of peace you are able to bring about profound change.

覺察當下的每個行動會比快速地囫圇吞棗給你更大的力量。當你能憑藉內心深處那股平靜的力量面對生活時,你將會為周遭環境帶來深遠的影響。

* Judy H 譯 *

文章來源 / Source: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/let-go-shoulds-stress-let-yourself-do-nothing/

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Doing nothing calms the mind. When the mind becomes still, we can see our heart. It is the heart that knows who we are, how we feel, and what our calling is.  

「無所事事」能讓頭腦安靜下來。頭腦安靜下來後,我們才能看到「心」。因為只有「心」能告訴我們 - 我們是誰、我們的感覺和我們存在的目的。


~ Judy H


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About Megan Cain
Megan Cain helps people create gardens that feed their bodies and souls through design, education and consultation. Her business, The Creative Vegetable Gardener, is a go-to resource for home vegetable gardening on the internet. Get her top 5 tips for growing more food with less work in a garden that inspires deep joy at creativevegetablegardener.com

關於梅可‧坎恩
梅可‧坎恩透過庭園設計、教學和諮商幫助她的客戶得到身心靈的舒展。她建立的「創意蔬園」是一個專門提供家庭蔬菜園藝資源的網站。有什麼訣竅能夠增添菜園的樂趣,並讓它事半功倍呢? 到她的網站creativevegetablegardener.com 逛逛吧


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漫無目的讓你感到焦慮嗎? / When You Feel Purposeless and Fear You’re Wasting Time



By Lori Deschene
作者: 蘿莉‧戴絲琴


I wanted a guarantee.

我要得到一個保證。

I wanted to know for sure that if I tried to do something, I would like it; if I devoted my limited time to it, I’d end up somewhere good.

如果我嘗試去做一件事,我要確定我一定會喜歡它; 如果我投入了寶貴的時間,我一定要得到理想的結果。

I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, and I felt certain this was a phenomenal failing—because if you don’t know right now what you need to do to make your life count, life will pass you by before you’ve ever had a chance to do something meaningful or valuable. At least, that’s what I thought back then.

我完全不知道我活著要做什麼,而且我確信這相當失敗 – 因為如果我現在不知道該如何過一個重要的人生,生命就會與我擦肩而過,我根本不會有機會去做任何有意義或價值的事。至少,我當時是這麼想的。

So I sat around thinking, analyzing, trying to identify something big enough or good enough, terrified that maybe I’d spend the rest of my days feeling purposeless, useless, on the fringe; doing the same thing in my professional life as I’d always done in my personal life: feeling like I was on the outside looking in.

所以我坐在那苦思、分析,想找出一件有意義或值得去做的事。我很害怕自己就這樣漫無目的、像個廢人和邊緣人似地度過餘生,在工作和生活上永遠一成不變,感覺自己像是個看戲的局外人。

When you’re sitting amid a vast expanse of possibilities, in the pressure cooker of expectations and impatience, it can feel almost paralyzing.

當你很渴望又很著急地面對腦海裏一片無窮的可能性時,你只會茫然地癱在那裏。


What step do you take when you have a hunch but no solid sense of direction? If it’s only a hunch, then maybe it’s the wrong direction.

當你有某個靈感但沒有實際的方向時,你會怎麼做? 那不過是個靈感,也許是個錯誤的方向吧。

And what if you go in the wrong direction? Then you will have wasted time, and time is finite. And everyone else is so far ahead. Everyone else seems happy and successful. Everyone else is climbing the ladder, earning more money, making a difference, mattering.

那麼如果你走錯了方向會如何? 你會浪費時間,而時間是有限的。而且其他人已經遙遙領先,他們每個人看起來都很快樂很成功。每個人都在往上爬,賺更多的錢,做有意義的事,每個人都像是個重要人物。

What if you never matter? What if you never do anything important? And worst of all, what if you never have more than a hunch about what’s important to you?

如果你一生都不重要怎麼辦? 如果你永遠都沒有重要的事可做怎麼辦? 最糟糕的是,如果你對那有意義的事一直都只是有那麼一點靈感,沒有下文怎麼辦?

What if you never feel a spark, a purpose, that elusive “why” that so many people write about?

如果你一直都沒有感覺到那個火花,那個使命感,那個很多人大作文章討論的內心呼召,怎麼辦?

What if you never care about anything so strongly that it becomes the bliss you have to follow?

如果你一直沒有什麼讓你熱衷到想去追求的事怎麼辦?

Sitting in the Times Square Internet café over a decade ago, searching Craigslist for jobs and gigs, I felt a sense of panic and urgency. I needed to figure it out, and fast.

十幾年前當我在時代廣場一家網路咖啡店裏,在Craigslist上搜尋工作機會時,心裏十分慌亂和著急。我必須找到答案,而且要快。

I was blinded by the fear of never finding what I was looking for, and that made the looking awfully ineffective.

我很害怕永遠找不到答案。那份恐懼感讓我迷失了方向,讓我的搜尋變得非常沒有效率。

I thought there was something wrong with me for being so uncertain, so resistant, so unable to identify and commit to any path.

我覺得自己有問題,一方面拿不定主意,一方面又排斥很多東西,無法確定自己要走什麼路

In retrospect, I see there was nothing wrong with me, or where I was in life. And there was nothing wrong with living in the maybe, looking for new possibilities.

現在回想,我明白當時的狀況和處境其實很正常。處在一個狀況不明、尋找新契機的階段並沒有什麼不對。

I wasn’t ineffective because I didn’t yet feel a strong internal pull. I was ineffective because I consistently marinated my brain in anxious, self-judging thoughts.

我沒有效率是因為我心裏沒有感受到任何強烈的動力。我沒有效率是因為我的腦子一直沈浸在焦慮自責的念頭裏。

My biggest obstacle wasn’t that I felt lost; it was that I felt I shouldn’t be. I felt I should have known, right then, not only what I wanted to do but also how I was going to do it.

我最大的障礙不是來自於方向不明,而是來自於我覺得自己不應該陷入這種狀況。我覺得我應該明確地掌握一切,就在當時 — 不僅僅是我想要做什麼,甚至包括該如何去做。

Because without knowing those two things, I felt adrift and incredibly out of control. How can you let yourself ease into the moment if you can’t be sure it’s leading to a better one?

不清楚這兩件事讓我覺得自己在隨波逐流,很失控。我怎麼可以安逸於此刻,如果我不確定下一刻會更好?

If I were to walk into that Internet café and approach my younger self, she would probably ignore me, immersed as she was in her frantic searching.

如果我現在可以走進那個網路咖啡店,走近當時那個年輕時的我,她可能根本不會理我,因為她正聚精會神瘋狂地搜尋中。

But if I somehow had the power to command her attention, I’d tell her a few things that maybe, just maybe, could relieve her constant worrying and provide both of peace of mind and focus.

但如果我有能力喚起她的注意,我會告訴她一些事,或許可以緩和她的不安,讓她的心平靜下來,可以重新聚焦。

You’ll never be effective if you’re convinced tomorrow needs to be better than today, because this belief stems from resistance to the present—and the present is where your power lies.

你永遠不可能有效率,如果你認為明天必須比今天更好,因為這個觀念就是抗拒當下的現實,而當下是你唯一的施力點。

If you’re looking for purpose from a place of inadequacy, you will likely be too overwhelmed by the need to do something big, that matters to the world at large, to identify what matters to you personally and start taking tiny steps toward it.

如果你是抱著一種欠缺的心理去尋找人生的目的,覺得自己必須做一件驚世駭俗的大事,這個想法會蒙蔽你的心,讓你看不到你個人的興趣所在,而且無法對它採取任何行動。

Instead of looking for a guarantee that tomorrow will be valuable, know that today is valuable—that you’re not wasting time because you don’t yet feel a sense of purpose. You’re using time well by starting (or continuing) the process of discovering it.

我們要做的不是去尋求一個明天會更好的保證,而是學會去體認今天就是個好日子。你並不在浪費時間,因為你還沒有發現你的目的。你正在善用你的時間去啟動 (或繼續) 這個發現的過程。

There’s simply no shortcut to “figuring things out”—for anyone. Instead of being hard on yourself for not having clarity, be proud of yourself for moving forward on a foggy road when you could easily find a cloudless, well-beaten path to follow…to certain dissatisfaction.

不管是對什麼人,這個「發現」的過程是沒有捷徑的。所以你不用因為混沌不明而苛責自己。相反地,你應該感到自豪,因為你正在一條煙霧迷漫的道路上摸索前行,而你原本可以輕易遵循一條晴空萬里、眾人踏過的老徑,只是因為那條路徑並不會讓你滿意。

There’s no set timeframe for doing anything.

任何事都沒有時間表


You truly can do things in your own time without having to worry about being “behind.” Sometimes it’s the things we do that feel like “stalling” or “getting off track” that end up being the most helpful for our growth.

你大可以按照自己的時間表過日子,不用擔心會落於人後。有時我們做的事讓我們感覺好像停滯不前或偏離了目標,但到頭來卻帶給我們很大的成長。

And besides, what story will be more interesting to flash before your eyes in the end: one that unfolded in ways you never expected, with unique twists and turns; or, one that followed a specific, predetermined timeline with predictable steps from milestone to milestone?

況且,當你走到盡頭看到過往的一生閃過眼前時,你會對那一部劇情更感興趣: 一個曲折離奇、出乎意料的情節,還是一個事先規劃好,按步就班的劇本?

The best way to find direction is to trust your instincts instead of forcing yourself to do things because you think you “should.”

找到方向的最好方法是相信你的直覺,而不是強迫自己去做你認為「應該」做的事。


Your intuition is a powerful compass, and even if you think you aren’t making progress, if you’re following your instincts, you are.

你的直覺是一個強有力的指標,即使你認為你不在往前走,只要你跟隨你的直覺,你就是在往前走。

There are always going to be opportunities that look good on paper, and that little, scared voice within may tell you that your life will only matter if you take them.

你多少會遇到一些表面上看來不錯的機會,然後你內心那個微小害怕的聲音就會告訴你,你必須把握這些機會,你的生命才會開始變得耀眼起來。

Other people may also tell you this, if not directly, indirectly; or, you may assume they’re thinking this, when really, they’re too immersed in their own confusing journey to pass judgment on yours for long.

也許有人也會這樣直接或間接地告訴你,或者你會假設他們有這樣的想法,但事實上,他們也忙於摸索自己的道路,沒有太多閒暇來置喙你的人生

But sometimes the best opportunities are the ones you don’t take, leaving yourself open for choices that better align with your own values and priorities.

但有時最好的機會就是放過那些機會,給自己空間去作和你最情投意合的選擇。

I know this may sound as impossible as growing another lung, but try not to worry so much about what other people might think. They may have expectations, but they aren’t living inside your mind, or feeling your instincts.

我知道這聽起來好像跟要再長一個肺一樣困難,但請試著不要太在意別人的看法。他們也許對你有所期待,但畢竟他們不是你肚裏的蛔蟲,也感受不到你的直覺

The only one who can make wise decisions for you is you. And even if it makes you feel anxious at times, you will eventually thank yourself for being brave enough to follow your heart, not someone else’s head.

唯一可以為你作明智抉擇的人是你自己。儘管你有時仍然會覺得不安,但有一天你會感謝自己曾經這麼勇敢地跟隨自己的心意,而不是別人的想法。

When it comes to creating purpose, there truly is no “wrong” decision.

對開創人生而言,沒有什麼決定是「錯」的。


You may think you only have one purpose and that you need to push yourself to find it. And you can continue thinking this, if you’re okay with feeling chronically pressured and scared.

也許你認為你只有一個目的,所以你必須竭盡所能去找到它。你是可以抱持這種想法,但這樣的你會處在長期慢性的壓力和恐懼中。

Or, instead of aiming to discover the one thing you’re supposed to do with your life, you could focus on discovering the one thing you want to try right now, knowing that you can change direction any time. And that changing direction won’t be something to be ashamed of; it won’t mean you failed at discovering your purpose before. It will mean you had one purpose then, and now your purpose has evolved.

或者,你可以不用執著於尋找那人生的唯一目的,你可以把精神放在去發現你「現在」想嘗試的任何一件事,因為你可以隨時改變方向。改變方向並不是件丟人的事,它並不表示你先前沒有成功地找到人生的目的。它只是表示你當時有一個目的,而現在那個目的已經演化轉變了。

It will mean you’re brave enough to let yourself evolve, repeatedly undertaking the sometimes terrifying process of discovering what else you can do.

它表示你有讓自己進步和轉變的勇氣,不斷地冒險去嘗試發掘你的其他潛能

Maybe that in itself can be a purpose—to live life in that vulnerable, uncertain place where you’re not boxed into one way of being; unencumbered by the need to define yourself and your place in the world; free to roam when it would feel much safer to tether yourself to one role.

也許這本身就是一個目的 — 處在一個脆弱不穩定的狀態,不想一成不變,不想受何特定的身份或狀況所束縛,自由自在的漫遊直到你想在一個角色上安定下來。

Ten years ago I thought I was a failure because I hadn’t done anything that felt important. I now know it was all important, and not just because it brought me to this site. (Translator's note: the author is the founder of Tiny Buddha.)

十年前我認為自己很失敗,因為我沒有做過任何我自認為重要的事。現在我明白了所有的一切都至關重要,不僅僅是因為那些經歷幫助我成就了這個網站。(譯者注: 本文作者係本文出處https://tinybuddha.com的創辦人)。

All those steps were important because those steps were my life. And my life is valuable and worth enjoying regardless of what I do professionally.

所有那些經歷都很重要,因為它們是我的人生。而我的人生是寶貴的,是可以用喜樂的心去度過的,不管我從事的是什麼職業。

Ironically, adopting this mindset makes it so much easier to create meaning in life, because suddenly it’s not about what you have to do. It’s about what you want to do. It’s about where your heart’s pulling you in this moment.

有趣的是,這個想法反而會讓我們的人生更有意義,因為我們會恍然大悟,明白重要的不是我們必須做什麼,而是我們想要做什麼,我們的心此刻想把我們帶往何處。

And that’s what it means to find direction—to follow those pulls, without a guarantee, knowing that the goal isn’t to end up somewhere good but to learn to recognize the good in this very moment.

這就是尋找人生方向的真諦 — 只要跟隨我們的心意,不需要任何的保證,因為我們知道我們的目標不是要到達一個了不得的地方,而是學會體認每一個當下都是美好的。

This moment isn’t merely the bridge to where you want to be. This moment—this crucial part of the process—is a destination in itself, and now is your only opportunity to appreciate it, and appreciate yourself for living it.

這一刻不僅僅是你通往目的地的橋樑,這一刻是整個過程的關鍵點,它本身就是一個目的地。這一刻是你唯一可以品嚐它、慶幸自己擁有它的機會。

* Judy H 譯 *

文章來源 / Source: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/feel-purposeless-fear-youre-wasting-time/


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"Your entire life only happens in this moment. The present moment is life itself. Yet, people live as if the opposite were true and treat the present moment as a stepping stone to the next moment - a means to an end."  ~ Eckhart Tolle


「你全部的人生只發生在每個當下。現在這一刻就是人生。但是我們本末倒置了,總是將此刻當作下一刻的跳板 -- 一個達到目的的手段。」~ 艾克哈特.托勒 

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About Lori Deschene
Lori Deschene is the founder of Tiny Buddha and Recreate Your Life Story, an online course that helps you let go of the past and live a life you love. Her latest book Tiny Buddha's Gratitude Journal, which includes 15 coloring pages, is now available for purchase. For daily wisdom, follow Tiny Buddha on Twitter, Facebook & Instagram.

關於蘿莉‧戴絲琴
蘿莉‧戴絲琴是「小小佛陀」和「改寫人生故事」的創辦人,後者是一個網路課程,目的在幫助學員放下過去,過他們真正喜愛的生活。她最近的創作「小小佛陀感恩日誌」,是一個包含15頁的美麗繪本。想要得到每日的智慧箴言,可以用推特、臉書或Instagram來追蹤她的「小小佛陀」。

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Follow us on Facebook or Google+
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相關內容 / You may also be interested in:

(視頻) 人生是一首音樂 / Life as Music (Alan Watts 艾倫•沃茲)

米雅的夢 / Mia’s Dream

生命的意義到底是什麼? (艾妮塔.穆札尼) / What is the true meaning of life? (Anita Moorjani)



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(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 用愛化解恐懼 / Choosing Love In A Fear-Based World (中文字幕 Chinese subtitles)



(點擊右下角CC選取中文字幕)

* 2017-5-8臉書直播 *
我們從小被教導要恐懼 – 要害怕陌生人,要怕競爭,怕匱乏,怕所有一切。然而,我們真正應該學的是愛,因為愛是唯一的途徑。

* Live Video on Facebook 5-8-2017 *
We have been taught to live in fear - fear strangers, fear competition, fear scarcity, fear everything. Instead, we should have been taught to love, because love is the only solution.

視頻來源 / Source: https://www.facebook.com/Anita.Moorjani/videos/1742133912498266/


 喜歡嗎? 按個讚或分享出去吧 !
Like this video? You can share it with more people 



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

關於艾妮塔.穆札尼
2006年艾妮塔在與癌症纏鬥四年後陷入臨終昏迷。在醫生努力搶救之際,她進入了瀕死體驗,在鬼門關前她明白了生命的真相: 天堂不是一個地方,而是一個境界。當她醒來恢復意識後,她奇蹟似地復原,並在幾星期內完全康復 ! 從此她跟隨內心的呼召和全世界分享她驚人的故事和上天的啟示。這個最重要的啟示是: 「愛你自己如同你生命之所繫」,而這的確是事實。她寫了兩本書:「死過一次才學會愛」和「死過一次才學會愛自己: 原來,此生即是天堂」,並仍在持續創作中。讀者可以從她這段演講錄影了解她的背景、經歷和啟示


About Anita Moorjani
In 2006, Anita fell into a coma as her 4-year struggle with cancer was coming to an end. While doctors rushed to attend to her frail body, she entered into a near-death experience (NDE) where she discovered one of life’s greatest truths: Heaven is not a destination; it’s a state of being. When she regained consciousness, her cancer miraculously healed and she was free of disease within weeks! Since then, she’s heeded the call to share this powerful story—and divine lesson—with the world. The one most important lesson she learned from her unique experience is: “Love yourself like your life depends on it” and it does. She is the author of two books : “Dying To Be Me” and “What If This Is Heaven - How Our Cultural Myths Prevent Us from Experiencing Heaven on Earth” and is working on her third one. You can watch this video to learn more about her, her NDE and the lessons she shares. 


Anita's website, Facebook page and radio show:
http://www. anitamoorjani.com
http://www.facebook.com/Anita.Moorjani
http://www.hayhouseradio.com/#!/host/anita-moorjani

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


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相關內容 / You may also be interested in:

開心的生活,因為我們是一體的 (艾妮塔‧穆札尼)/ Be Happy, Because We’re All Connected (Anita Moorjani)

不要活在因果報應的恐懼裏 (艾妮塔) / Don’t Live In The Fear Of Karma (Anita Moorjani)

(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 如何面對疾病的不安 (中文字幕)

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我能安心接受饋贈嗎? (艾妮塔.穆札尼) / How Good Are You At Receiving? (Anita Moorjani)




5-3-2017 newsletter via email by  Anita Moorjani

艾妮塔.穆札尼 2017-5-3 郵件期刊


If you're anything like I used to be, then you're probably not that great, whether it's receiving gifts, complements, support; in fact, just about anything. However, when it comes to giving, I'll bet you do that really easily. You're probably the first one your friends go to for advice, support, insights, and so on. You're probably the one with the shoulder that everyone cries on.

如果你和以前的我一樣,你大概不會太安心,無論你接受的是禮物、讚美還是幫助,不管你接受的是什麼。不過說到付出,我敢說那對你容易得多了。你可能是朋友會第一個想到找你商量、幫忙或開導的人,你可能是每個人都想靠著哭泣的一個肩膀。 

This was me some years ago. I was always there for everyone else except me. I was always giving to everyone else, except to myself, and if someone gave me a gift, whether it was a compliment, or courage, or support, or even if someone paid me money for my work, I'd feel obligated to do twice as much, just to prove to them that I was worthy of what they had just given me.

這就是多年前的我。我總是每個人的幫手,除了我自己; 我總是對每個人付出,除了我自己。如果別人給了我一份禮物,不管是一句讚美、鼓勵還是支持,甚至是工作的酬勞,我都感覺自己必須加倍奉還,只是為了證明我配得到他們的恩惠。 

Then one day, I got diagnosed with cancer.

直到有天,我被診斷出癌症。 

I remember that on the day I was diagnosed, there was a small part inside of me that said "Now I get to take care of myself." It was as though the disease had given me permission to start taking care of myself!

我記得診斷出來的那天,我心裏彷彿有個微小的聲音在告訴我: 「好了,現在我終於可以照顧自己了。」彷彿那個病是一個恩准我開始照顧自己的特許單。 

Something inside of me had always believed that it was more honorable to give than to receive, so I spent years giving and giving of myself, until I reached a point where I became so drained that I could no longer give anymore. My body then developed a disease to "allow" me to be able to receive!

我心裏某個部份一直相信付出比接受更為光彩。所以我長年來不斷地付出自己,直到我精疲力盡無法再付出為止。接下來,我的身體發展出一種病,為的是要「容許」我開始過一個接受的生活! 

I wish I knew then that I don't need a disease to give myself permission to receive, and to take care of myself. I wish I knew then that I am supposed to love myself, because I am deserving, and worthy, and an expression of God/The Universe.

我希望當時我知道我不必藉由生病來允許自己接受,允許自己去照顧自己。我希望當時我就知道我應該愛我自己,因為我值得,我有價值,我是「神」/宇宙的一種呈現。

 I now understand that being able to receive is just as important as giving, because by receiving, we are giving ourselves the message that we are deserving, and worthy of all the gifts that life has to offer. We are also sending the message to the givers that they have important gifts to offer. 

但是我現在明白了,接受和付出同等重要,因為藉由接受,我們在告訴自己我們是重要的,我們配得到生命為我們預備的禮物。同時我們也藉此告訴饋贈的人,他們的禮物多麼珍貴。

 Our "giving" and "receiving" channels are symbiotic, and needs the opposing force to function optimally, much like yin and yang. Without one, the whole system would collapse. Much like masculine and feminine energy – without one, the whole of humanity wouldn't exist. It takes both to multiply and grow, and neither one is more positive or negative than the other.

「付出」和「接受」這兩個渠道共存共榮,就像陰陽兩極相反的能量必須共存,一切才能完美運作。缺少其中一個,整個系統便會垮掉。就像男女兩性的能量,缺少一個,整個人類便不會存在。兩者必須共存才能繁衍成長,沒有那一個是比較正面或負面的。 

Since recovering from the disease all those years ago, I have allowed myself to receive the gifts that the universe has to offer me. Being open to receiving has energized me in a way that allows me the pleasure to give even more! 

自從多年前生病康復之後,我就開始容許自己接受宇宙為我準備的禮物。這樣敞開自己去接受之後,我反而變得更有活力,更能享受付出的樂趣 ! 

When we truly love ourselves, we allow ourselves to receive graciously, and as a result, it allows us to share even more abundantly. I love sharing my work and my message, because I want people to know what I wish I knew then – in this case, that you don't need an illness to give yourself permission to receive support, love, joy and abundance! 

當我們真心愛自己時,我們便能安心接受別人的饋贈,而且因此會有更豐盛的東西可以和別人分享。我熱愛分享我的領悟和訊息,因為我要你們明白我希望我能早一點知道的事 – 你不需要生一場病來允許自己接受幫助、愛、喜樂和豐盛 !


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Receiving deeply provides needed nutrients for our soul, while also honoring the giver—making them feel that they've made a difference in our life." ~ John Amodeo, Ph.D., “The Neglected Art of Receiving”

「衷心接受能滋養我們的靈魂,也使給予者覺得很光彩 – 讓他們感覺對我們的人生起了重要的作用。」~ 約翰‧阿莫迪歐博士 <被忽略的收受藝術>



* Judy H 譯 *


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

2006年艾妮塔在與癌症纏鬥四年後陷入臨終昏迷。在醫生努力搶救之際,她進入了瀕死體驗,在鬼門關前她明白了生命的真相: 天堂不是一個地方,而是一個境界。當她醒來恢復意識後,她奇蹟似地復原,並在幾星期內完全康復 ! 從此她跟隨內心的呼召和全世界分享她驚人的故事和上天的啟示。這個最重要的啟示是: 「愛你自己如同你生命之所繫」,而這的確是事實。她寫了兩本書:「死過一次才學會愛」和「死過一次才學會愛自己: 原來,此生即是天堂」,並仍在持續創作中。讀者可以從她這段演講錄影了解她的背景、經歷和啟示


In 2006, Anita fell into a coma as her 4-year struggle with cancer was coming to an end. While doctors rushed to attend to her frail body, she entered into a near-death experience (NDE) where she discovered one of life’s greatest truths: Heaven is not a destination; it’s a state of being. When she regained consciousness, her cancer miraculously healed and she was free of disease within weeks! Since then, she’s heeded the call to share this powerful story—and divine lesson—with the world. The one most important lesson she learned from her unique experience is: “Love yourself like your life depends on it” and it does. She is the author of two books : “Dying To Be Me” and “What If This Is Heaven - How Our Cultural Myths Prevent Us from Experiencing Heaven on Earth” and is working on her third one. You can watch this video to learn more about her, her NDE and the lessons she shares. 

Anita's website, Facebook page and radio show:
http://www. anitamoorjani.com
http://www.facebook.com/Anita.Moorjani
http://www.hayhouseradio.com/#!/host/anita-moorjani

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



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轉念遇到愛 (三): 拒絕的人是誰? / Turn Around and Find Love (Part 3) : Who Is Rejecting ?


「我的自我是這麼強勢,一直到我看到愛。」

"My ego is so dominating until I see my love."  ~ Judy H


By Judy H

我們都有過這種經驗: 我們和別人在討論一件事,但對方的意見和我們不一樣。討論的內容可以是哲學、政治、宗教、教育,甚至是每天該喝多少水。當我們發現對方的意見和我們不同時,我們的反應是什麼? 也許會覺得不悅,然後試圖說服對方,讓他們明白他們的想法是不對的。我們也許會不可置信的搖頭納悶,一個和我們如此熟識或親近的人怎麼會有如此短視、不合理或不健康的想法。

We all have this experience: you are talking to somebody on a topic but his or her opinion is different from yours. The topic could be anything – from philosophy, politics, religion, education to something as small as how much water you should drink every day. When we find that the other person does not agree to our point of view, what happens? We may get upset and try to convince them that they are wrong. We shake our head thinking how a person we befriend or are close to is holding an opinion that is so near-sighted, illogical or unhealthy. 

通常我們和對方的關係越親近時,我們越希望他們的看法和我們一致。畢竟,我們很難想像一對整天意見不合的夫妻卻希望能夠白頭偕老。因為我們關心對方,我們擔心他們「錯誤」的想法會會導致他們不幸福,所以我們想要去改變對方。於是我們把一個原本輕鬆的對話變成一場辯論,我們想要證明對方的意見是多麼荒謬。

Usually the closer the other person is to you, the more we need them to be agreeable to you. After all, can you imagine a husband and a wife who do not see eye to eye with each other all the time but try to spend their whole lives together? Because we are concerned about the other person and we are worried that their “wrong” opinion can jeopardize their well-being, we want to change how they see things. We then turn a casual conversation to a debate, wanting to prove to the other person how absurd their point of view is.  

當對話逐漸白熱化時,我們的自我意識也變得越來越強,聲音也越來越大。到最後,我們鑽進牛角尖裏,忘了一開始我們為對方著想的那個善意,一心只想要贏得這場口舌之戰。

As the exchange of words becomes heated, our ego becomes stronger and our voice gets louder. At the end, we lose our senses and forget our good intention for the other person that started the conversation. We are consumed by the desire to win the trophy of the battle. 

讓我分享米雅的一個故事。

Let me share an experience via Mia’s story. 

米雅只有一位姐姐,她住在不同的國家。姐妹倆本來每一隔陣子就會通電話,但自從雙親過世後,她們通話的次數比以前頻繁了。米雅很愛戴姐姐,但有時覺得和姐姐說話不是那麼愉快,因為兩人對某些事情的看法並不一致。

Mia has only one sister who lives in a different country. While they call each other from time to time, the calls have become more frequent since their parents passed away. Mia loves her sister but sometimes finds it unpleasant to talk to her because they don’t see a few things the same way. 

有一次她們談到小孩的教育問題。米雅偏向於給孩子更多的時間去做他們喜歡的事,但姐姐艾莉卻認為小孩應該參加很多的課外活動,學習更多的東西,才不會輸給別人。

One day they are talking about how they should raise their kids. Mia comments that she prefers to give her kids more time to do things they enjoy, but her sister, Ellie, insists that they should participate in more outside school activities to learn more so they can get ahead of other kids.  

「他們要找到自己面對事情的方法。我們不可能隨時在他們身邊。他們需要花時間和自己相處,想想事情該怎麼處理。時間排得那麼滿,他們怎麼會有時間去了解自己,找到自己的出口。」米雅不以為然地說。

“They need to figure out their own way of handling things. We can’t be there for them all the time. They need to spend time with themselves and think things over. A busy schedule would not help them to know themselves and find their own solutions,” Mia contends. 

「我知道,但是… 學校競爭那麼激烈,我不能讓他們落後。成績不好或課外活動不出色,就進不了好學校。他們越早開始準備,勝算就越大。」艾莉回答。

“I know, BUT… the school is very competitive and I can’t afford to see them fall behind. It’s very hard to get into a good school without good grades and extracurricular activities. The earlier we start to prepare them, the better their chances are,” Ellie replies. 

「這樣孩子會很不快樂。」米雅說。但僅管米雅深信她的教育理念對孩子很重要,無論她如何辯解,姐姐總是用一個「但是」把她反駁掉。

“This would make them very unhappy,” Mia says. But no matter how Mia explains her upbringing philosophy which she believes would do the kids a lot more good, her sister always responds back with a “but” to challenge her comment.  

「我已經不再是那個不懂事的小妹妹了。」

米雅一邊爭辯一邊在心裏想。她回想過去大她六歲的姐姐總是仗著自己知道得多沒把她當回事; 她想到她是家裏年紀最小的,大家總是要她聽爸媽或姐姐的話就很生氣。

“I’m no longer your little sister who was young and ignorant,“ Mia thinks while arguing with Ellie. She recalls how her sister, who is six years older than her, has always tried to put her down and be the smart one. She resents how she was treated as the youngest kid in the family always being asked to listen to her mom, dad or Ellie.

兩人你一句我一句爭辯了半小時之後,誰也沒有讓步,但發現天色已晚,她們必須互道晚安將電話掛上。電話是掛了,但米雅的思緒卻沒有停下來。她心裏有點難受,沒有辦法從剛剛的對話回神過來。

After 30 minutes of debating without either side conceding it, the two sisters realize that it is getting late and they have to say good night and end the call. Well, the call ends but not Mia’s thought. She feels bad and is reeling from the conversation. 

她這時的感覺是什麼?

 What is Mia feeling? 

她覺得很挫折 - 因為她沒能改變艾莉的想法。她覺得不受到重視 - 因為艾莉沒有認同她的理念。她覺得很受傷 - 因為這樣一位親近的家人不能支持她的看法。最難受的是,米雅覺得有些淒涼孤單,她感覺彷彿失去了一位畢生的戰友。她甚至覺得艾莉已經不愛她了。

She feels frustrated, because she failed to convince Ellie that she was right; she feels unappreciated, because Ellie did not see the value of her philosophy; she feels hurt, because a close family member does not support her opinion; and above all, she feels cold and lonely, because somehow she feels that she has lost a long-time ally in her life. In fact, it almost feels like that she is no longer loved by Ellie. 

當米雅探究內心這些不舒服的情緒時,她很吃驚地和「孤單」相遇。

As Mia probes into her uncomfortable feelings, she is surprised to meet with “loneliness.”  

為什麼會有這種「孤單」的感覺? 米雅決定更進一步走入她的內心。她運用了拜倫‧凱蒂「功課」裏的問題來幫助她闊展她的視角。

Where does the feeling of loneliness come from? Mia decides to look deeper into herself. She uses Byron Katie’s questions in The Work to help her expand her perspectives. 

首先,米雅發現她之所以感到孤單,是因為艾莉的行為不像一位親人,能夠支持和了解她的想法。她覺得艾莉並不支持或愛護她,因為艾莉沒有認同她的觀點。

First of all, Mia discovers that she feels lonely because Ellie doesn’t feel like family who should understand and support her. She feels that Ellie doesn’t support or love her because she doesn’t share her point of view.

「艾莉不愛我,因為她不認同我的教育理念。這是真的嗎?」「不,這不是真的。」米雅不假思索。

“Is it true that Ellie doesn’t love me because she doesn’t accept my upbringing philosophy?” “No, this is not true,” Mia decides. 

然後她把這個想法翻轉過來問她自己: 「我愛她嗎?」

Then she turns around the idea by asking herself: “Do I love her?” 

「是的,這無庸置疑。」米雅很確定。

“Yes, no question about that,” Mia is sure. 

「如果她不接受我的想法,我還會愛她嗎?」米雅停頓下來。

“Do I love her even if she doesn’t accept my point of view?” Mia pauses. 

突然間,她看到了問題所在。她發現當艾莉不認同她的想法時,是她不能接受艾莉。雖然她很愛艾莉,但當艾莉沒有順著她的心意作出反應時,一時間她很難接受艾莉。因為她很難接受「錯誤的」艾莉,她想去改變艾莉,所以她能夠去愛「正確的」艾莉。但事實是,無論艾莉的思想行為如何,米雅發現這都無損於她對姐姐的愛。

All of a sudden, she sees where the problem is. Mia realizes that it is her who has trouble accepting Ellie when Ellie doesn’t share her view. She loves Ellie but she finds it hard to accept her when Ellie does not act the way she expects. Because it is hard for her to accept the “wrong” Ellie, she tries to change her so she can accept and love the “right” Ellie. But the truth is, no matter what Ellie thinks or does, Mia realizes that it doesn’t change the fact that she loves her sister. 

這個領悟讓米雅明白,她沒有必要去贏過任何人。她重新體認到的這份對姐姐的愛,讓她得以超越她那個經常活在認同和掌聲裏的自我。

With this realization comes with the understanding that she doesn’t need to win over anyone. The love she discovered for her sister transcends her ego that wants to be right and applauded. 

這也是我個人的經驗。

That was the realization that I came to from my own experience. 

當我們遇見某人和對方交談時,我們會有一種希望對方能夠接受或喜歡我們的渴望。我們是這麼希望被對方認同和接受,依著我們和對方的關係,我們可能選擇妥協讓對方高興,或試圖說服對方讓他們和我們站在同一陣線。我們很害怕遭到拒絕。因為當我們被拒絕時,我們會產生不被愛、疏離和孤單的感覺。我們希望感受的是愛,而愛只會呈現在融洽和諧的狀態裏; 我們不希望有恐懼,而恐懼的感覺則是來自疏遠和分離。

When we meet or have a conversation with someone, there is a desire in us that wants the other person to accept or like us. We want their acceptance and approval so much that depending on our relationship with that person, we either compromise ourselves to please them or we try to convince them so they will take our side. We are afraid of being rejected. When we are rejected, we feel unloved, separated and lonely. We want love that is shown in union and harmony, not fear that results from separation. 

但我們可曾想過,拒絕的人不是他們,而是我們? 當對方和我們意見不合時,我們會在心裏上排斥他們。我們是很想接納他們和他們友好,但是做不到,因為他們的想法和我們不一致。於是我們和他們爭辯起來,希望去改變他們,好讓我們方便去接受他們。

But did it ever occur to you that it is not THEM who reject you, that it is in fact YOU who reject them? You reject people when they don’t agree with you. You want to accept and love them but you can’t because they are different from you. So you argue with them trying to change them so you can better accept them. 

但這是真的嗎 – 除非他們接受我們每字每句和所有的觀點,我們才能接受和愛他們嗎? 我們可以接受他們原本的模樣,就像我們希望他們能接受我們原本的面貌嗎? 如果我們真的覺得很難去接受和自己大不相同的人,我們可以選擇走開,但至少我們明白這個決定權是在我們身上,而不是在他們身上。我們可以決定拒絕或接受一個人,但沒有必要去改變或打敗任何人。

Is it true that we cannot accept or love someone unless they share every single word or view of ours? Can we accept them the way they are, just like we want to be accepted the way we are? If we find it really difficult to accept someone who is different from us, we can choose to walk away, but at least we know that the decision is with us, not with them. We decide if we want to reject or accept them without the need to change or defeat anyone. 

無論我們是否看到自己的本質是愛,我們每個人的心中都有愛,問題只是在於我們是否有體認到這份愛,並讓它更容易被我們所取用。那個會覺得孤單、疏離並想要贏過別人的部份是我們的自我,並不是我們真正的本質。當我們沈浸在愛的感覺裏時,自我變會退下。當我們和摯愛的人相處 (包括寵物) 或做一件讓我們感到振奮的事時,我們會忘記自己和時間的存在,彷彿我們已和相處的人事物融合為一。在那個時刻,我們不會有分離的感覺,所有的事都變成一體。這就是愛的力量。

Whether or not we believe that our essence is love, there is love in each of us. It’s just a matter of seeing it and making it more accessible. The part of you who feels lonely, separated and wants to win is your ego, not your true self. Ego subsides when you experience love. When you spend time with your loved ones (including your pets) or do something you are passionate about, you forget yourself and the passing of time; you feel that you are merged with the person or the event that you are involved with. At that moment, all separation seems to disappear and everything becomes one. That is the power of love. 

一旦你發現或開發了心中那份愛,就像米雅一樣,它會改變你和別人的互動方式。你不會再尋求別人來接納你,因為你已經明白問題的重點在於你是否能接受他們。當你開始把注意力放在你內心的愛時,每當你遇見別人,你會開始從愛的角度 - 而不是從那個恐懼的自我- 去看他們。

Once you have discovered or uncovered the love in you, like Mia did, it changes the way you interact with people. You no longer want to seek their acceptance because you realize that it is your acceptance of them that is in question. As you start to notice and pay attention to the love that is inside of you, every time you meet with someone, you start to look at them from that love, instead of from the fearful ego. 

你會停止向你無法掌控的他人尋求愛,而開始滋養在你內心那唾手可得的愛。你開始將你的力量拿回來 – 你不再依賴外在的世界給你愛,而開始專注於發掘你內心那個龐大的愛的泉源。

You stop seeking love from people who are out of your control and you start cultivating the love that is within your reach. You take your power back – instead of relying on the outside world for their love, you reach inside to build your own powerhouse of love. 


*************************************

關於作/譯者 Judy H
因為不認識自己,不知道愛自己,一直走在尋覓療癒的路上,然後認識了艾妮塔‧穆札尼。聽到她的訊息有分享的衝動,於是建立了這個網站幫助自己也幫助別人。對認識心靈和愛自己的內容特別感興趣。喜歡寫譯相關文章,和志同道合的人分享,讓更多的人陪我一起走在這條讓人興奮感動的路上 😊

About Judy H 
Coming from a place where I didn’t know myself, not to mention loving myself, I have been on a quest to heal myself until I came to know Anita Moorjani. When I did, I felt the urge to share her message. Therefore, I created this blog to help myself and other people. I am interested in getting to know my soul and learning to love it. I like to translate and write inspiring stories and share them with like-minded people so that I have company on this exciting and loving journey 😊


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相關內容 / You may also be interested in:

轉念遇到愛 (二) – 凱蒂的「功課」 / Turn Around and Find Love (Part II) – The Work

(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 自我和靈性 / Ego & Spirituality



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過著「適合自己」的生活,就是幸福 / Happiness is Living a Life that Aligns with Who We Are


「我們每一個人都有一種能力,能夠感覺到什麼可以給我們帶來快樂。」~ 讓娜‧西奧-法金
"Each of us has the ability to know what brings us joy." Jeanne Siaud-Facchin


書摘 / Book Excerpt

作者: 讓娜‧西奧-法金
Author: Jeanne Siaud-Facchin


如果「幸福」不存在?追求微小幸福的藝術
Happiness does not exist? How about pursuing small joys

生活在一個有權利追求幸福的社會,我們有責任幸福,幸福成了一種義務。如果我們無法得到幸福,則是沒有理由的,肯定是某個人的錯:配偶的錯,孩子的錯,老闆的錯,身邊人的錯,政府的錯……這個時代要求我們高聲並強烈地爭取這項權利和義務 ─ 一定要幸福!

Living in a world where people are given the right to pursue their happiness, it almost becomes a responsibility to be happy; in fact, being happy becomes an obligation. There is no reason that we can’t be happy. If we find ourselves unhappy, it must be someone else’s fault – our spouse, the kids, boss, people around us, the government…. We live in an era where we are encouraged to fight for this right and obligation – to become happy!

於是,我們就相信或假裝相信預設的幸福:夢想中的房子、令人驚奇的旅行、讓我們變得如此美麗且令人嚮往的產品、能夠滿足一切需求的商店、讓我們變得迷人的品牌……等等。我還可以繼續舉例,但這不是我要說的主要內容。以下才是我希望和大家分享的觀點:我們每一個人都有一種能力,能夠感覺到什麼可以給我們帶來快樂,什麼能夠讓我們與自己、與他人愉快地相處。

Therefore, we create a model of happiness and believe in it, or we pretend that we believe in it, where this model includes a dream house, incredible trips, products that we must have to make us look beautiful, stores that provide everything we need, brands that make us attractive… and so on. I can go on and on, but this is not my point. What I really want to share with all of you is this: each of us has the ability to know what brings us joy and what allows us to be in peace with ourselves and other people.  

不要再等待了,不要再繼續尋找所謂的「幸福」。

No more waiting, no more searching for “Happiness.”

人們總是在追求「幸福」,有時是終其一生都在追尋。人們總是認為自己一定能幸福,當孩子成功;當我們買了夢想中的房子;當我們得到晉升;當我們有足夠多的錢可以做很多事情;當我們被大家認識且得到大家認可;當我們退休且有自己的時間……但我們卻錯過了我們的人生,我們不在節奏中。這是微小幸福可以觸及的節奏,能夠讓我們的人生變得熠熠生輝、多姿多彩、魅力無限、舒適安逸。當然,我並沒有無視真正的痛苦,沒有無視人生中真正的社會、文化、心理和事件的不幸與悲苦。我深深地同情並尊重那些受苦的人。但是我這裡說的是其他人,是能夠擁有普通幸福的普通人,而他們卻抱怨無法獲得特別的幸福。

We are always in the pursuit of happiness, and for some people, this pursuit consumes their whole life. People believe that they will be happy - when their kids are successful, when they buy their dream house, when they get promoted, when they have enough money to do more things, when they become well-known and recognized, when they are retired and have more time …. But in the midst of all this, we miss our lives and the beats of our songs. It is the small joys in our lives that go along with the beats and make our lives feel glorious, colorful, attractive and comfortable. Of course, I am not playing down the pains or the misfortune and agony people suffer as a result of social, cultural, psychological or incidental impacts. I have deep sympathy for those in suffering. What I am referring to here are people who have access to the ordinary joy but complain that they cannot attain the extraordinary happiness. 

這只是一個圈套。幸福就在那裡,而且這幸福就已經是特別的幸福!

This is just a trap. Your happiness is right here and is already extraordinary!


你的微小幸福是什麼?
What are your small joys?

思考一下:什麼東西(哪怕是微小的)給你們帶來深深的滿足感,或轉瞬即逝的滿足感,什麼都行。看看你們的周圍,你們的生活,你們是否看到這些奇妙的小事物在閃耀,而長期的、具有傳染性的不滿足感卻試圖阻止你們看到它們?你們是否看到這些你們在戰勝自己、戰勝困難之後,所獲得的大大小小的成功?你們在內心深處是否明白,對於自己實現的事物,對於自己擁有的事物,讓你們有多麼驕傲。

Think about this: Are there any things (no matter how small they are) that bring you a feeling of satisfaction, whether it touches deep in your heart or flashes across your mind? Anything will do. Look around you, in your life. Do you see any small but amazing things that are sparkling around you but you have failed to notice because of the contagious discontent you have been harboring for a long time? Do you see your successes, big and small, that you have achieved as a result of being able to work with yourself and overcome the challenges? Do you see, deep in you, how proud you could be of yourself for having achieved and attained the things you already have?

即使社會不停向我們灌輸我們可以做得更好。但要與什麼比較呢?我們唯一的計量儀是我們自己;唯一需要的,是能夠讓我們與內心的我們一致的東西。而我們是唯一能夠瞭解這個內在自我的人。這個內在的自我屬於我們自己,是最珍貴的財富。沒有比這更珍貴的了,更不用說在外部世界。重新聚焦於自身,這樣更好不是嗎?

Even though the society relentlessly tells us that we can be better, but what do we want to be better than? The only barometer for our condition is ourselves. The only thing we need is something that can align us with our inner self. And who can understand that inner self better than us? This inner self resides in each of us and is our most precious treasure. Nothing is more precious than that, let alone the outside world. So isn’t it much better to re-focus our attention on ourselves?


幸福就是得到更多滿足感,而不是失落感
Happiness is about feeling of satisfaction, instead of frustration.

當滿足感在失落感持續的重壓下逐漸消失時,我們會立即感受到痛苦。重點是要明白,對於我們每個人而言,什麼是滿足,什麼又是失落,兩者不同卻又很相似:讓我們幸福的,是在「內心深處」感覺自己處於對的位置,感覺自己過著適合自己、與自己相似的生活。

When the feeling of satisfaction is pushed out by the heavy weight of frustration, we will immediately feel pain. The key is to understand, what is satisfaction and what is frustration, for each of us; they are different yet similar. What makes us happy is the feeling “deep down in us” that we are at a right place living a life that fits with and aligns with who we are.

在這種情況下,我們沒有在途中迷失方向,我們的路途不是沒有出路,我們的道路並不是特別明亮,我們的路途沒有令我們眼花撩亂也沒有不讓我們滿意,我們沒有在別人開闢且不是自己所選擇的道路上冒險。我們運用自己的資源、力量、侷限性、脆弱和弱點,打造了一條道路。在這條路上,我們愉快地走著,遇到了一些人或事讓我們變得更加富有,實現了能夠讓我們快樂的事。

Falling into that right place means that we are not lost on our journey. Our journey is not leading to a dead end, though it is not a particularly bright one. Our journey is neither so dazzled that confuses us nor does it make us feel unsatisfied. We are not venturing on a path that was carved out by other people that is not of our choice. We blaze our path with our own resources, strengths, limitations, vulnerability and weaknesses. We pleasantly walk on this path where we come across other people and situations that help enrich our lives and create our own happiness.  

這並不意味著我們不會遇到阻礙,也不是意味著路途上沒有危險。但我們知道,如何面對這些阻礙和危險,如何面對意料之外的事。有時會有悲傷、痛苦,甚至是生氣或憤怒,而我們內心卻非常堅定,把我們與這個世界緊緊地綁在一起,使我們不會與我們的道路分開,使我們不會脫離我們的路線,我們的人生之路。

This does not mean we will not meet with obstacles or that our journey is free of dangers. But we know how to handle these obstacles and dangers and how to deal with unexpected incidents. There are sorrow, pain and even anger or rage. Yet our heart stands firm. It tightly ties us to this world so that we do not part with our path or divert from our direction in our life journey.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

文章來源 Source: https://gfamily.cwgv.com.tw/content/index/7549

摘自 讓娜‧西奧-法金《太聰明所以不幸福?》/遠流出版 https://www.odilejacob.com/catalogue/psychology/general-psychology/too-smart-to-be-happy-life_9782738120878.php

Excerpt from “Trop intelligent pour etre heureux” by Jeanne Siaud-Facchin

* English translation by Judy H *


關於作者
讓娜‧西奧-法金是法國臨床心理學家,專精於學習障礙和高智商者研究,著有《高智商兒童》(L'Enfant surdoué)。在第二本著作《太聰明所以不幸福》中,她關懷的是那些已經默默長大的成年資優者──那些或許從未確知自己的特殊,卻已經飽受聰明之害的人們。

你是位資優者嗎? 更多關於本書和作者的內容:
https://www.mplus.com.tw/article/1094


About Author
Jeanne Siaud-Facchin is a clinical psychologist and the author of the highly acclaimed L'Enfant surdoué. She founded the first specialised centres in France (in Marseille, Avignon and Paris) for the diagnosis and treatment of learning difficulties. Her other books include: L'aider à grandir, l'aider à s'en sortir (2002) and L'Enfant en difficulté scolaire (2006). 


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(視頻) 人生是一首音樂 / Life as Music (Alan Watts 艾倫•沃茲)

美麗的敗筆: 所謂的成功對孩子的傷害 / Why we shouldn’t stress about our children’s academic success

(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 找回自己 (一) / Who Am I (Part 1) [實況問答 9-22-2016]



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(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 自我和靈性 / Ego & Spirituality


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我們應該消除自我來提高靈性嗎?
Should we try to get rid of ego in order to become more spiritual?

Find Anita on her website, Facebook page and radio show:
http://www. anitamoorjani.com
https://www.facebook.com/Anita.Moorjani
http://www.hayhouseradio.com/#!/host/anita-moorjani

如果您不認識艾妮塔,可以從這部影片了解她的瀕死經驗以及她如何奇蹟似地在幾週內從癌症末期康復。
If you are not familiar with Anita’s story, you can watch this video to learn about her near-death experience and how she miraculously recovered from her terminal illness.

http://judyhtranslate.blogspot.com/2016/08/anita-moorjani.html


 喜歡嗎? 按個讚或分享出去吧 !
Like this video? You can share it with more people 



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2006年艾妮塔在與癌症纏鬥四年後陷入臨終昏迷。在醫生努力搶救之際,她進入了瀕死體驗,在鬼門關前她明白了生命的真相: 天堂不是一個地方,而是一個境界。當她醒來恢復意識後,她奇蹟似地復原,並在幾星期內完全康復 ! 從此她跟隨內心的呼召和全世界分享她驚人的故事和上天的啟示。這個最重要的啟示是: 「愛你自己如同你生命之所繫」,而這的確是事實。她寫了兩本書:「死過一次才學會愛」和「死過一次才學會愛自己: 原來,此生即是天堂」,並仍在持續創作中。讀者可以從她這段演講錄影了解她的背景、經歷和啟示


In 2006, Anita fell into a coma as her 4-year struggle with cancer was coming to an end. While doctors rushed to attend to her frail body, she entered into a near-death experience (NDE) where she discovered one of life’s greatest truths: Heaven is not a destination; it’s a state of being. When she regained consciousness, her cancer miraculously healed and she was free of disease within weeks! Since then, she’s heeded the call to share this powerful story—and divine lesson—with the world. The one most important lesson she learned from her unique experience is: “Love yourself like your life depends on it” and it does. She is the author of two books : “Dying To Be Me” and “What If This Is Heaven - How Our Cultural Myths Prevent Us from Experiencing Heaven on Earth” and is working on her third one. You can watch this video to learn more about her, her NDE and the lessons she shares. 

Anita's website, Facebook page and radio show:
http://www. anitamoorjani.com
http://www.facebook.com/Anita.Moorjani
http://www.hayhouseradio.com/#!/host/anita-moorjani

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相關內容 / You may also be interested in:

(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 找回自己 (一) / Who Am I (Part 1) [實況問答 9-22-2016]

(視頻) Anita Moorjani 艾妮塔.穆札尼 - 找回自己 (二) / Who Am I (Part 2) [實況問答 1-18-2017]

⏬ 分享出去吧! 也許有人正需要它 Share to benefit someone ⏬