做開心的事，不是浪費時間 / If It Brings You Joy, It’s Not “Wasting Time”


原文來源 / Source:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/brings-joy-not-wasting-time/



“At any moment, you have a choice, that either leads you closer to your spirit or further away from it.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh 

「任何時候你都可以選擇更貼近你的心靈或遠離它。」~ 一行禪師 


By Leslie Ralph 
作者: 萊絲莉‧瑞爾芙

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an Olympic figure skater. Or an artist for Disney. Or maybe a musician.

我小時候曾夢想成為奧林匹克花式溜冰的選手，迪世尼公司的藝術家，或成為一位音樂家。 

I wanted to be a songwriter and choreographer.

我想寫歌或是編舞。 

I made up roller skating routines in the driveway to Tiffany and Paula Abdul. (It was most excellent.)

我會在家門口的車道上，跟著蒂芬妮和寶拉阿巴杜的歌溜我自創的滑輪舞。(滑得很棒喔) 

I filled notebooks upon notebooks with illustrations.

我在一本又一本的筆記本裏填滿我的塗鴨。 

And if you were to ask me to describe myself, I might have said, “happy.” Or I would have chattered on about my dreams and all the interesting things I liked.

如果你那時問我會怎麼形容我自己，我可能會說:「很開心啊。」或者我會嘰哩呱啦地告訴你我的夢想和所有我喜歡的事。

Ask me today, and just like any other adult, my automatic response would probably be something along the lines of what I do and how hard I work, as if I’m interviewing for a job.

但是如果你現在問我，我可能會和其他大人一樣，脫口就告訴你我做什麼工作，我工作很認真，就好像我在面試一份工作一樣。

I’m a psychologist. I’m a hard worker. I’m dedicated.

我是位心理學家。我工作很努力，我很認真。

(Adults aren’t always so good at this.)

(還不是每個大人都這麼會說話的。) 

Somewhere around junior high, my identity shifted from happy and interested in everything to being studious and serious about everything. 

大概從初中的時候開始，我的自我形象就從開心和對所有的事充滿好奇心，變成勤學不倦和對所有的事都變得很認真。 

Until very recently, I wouldn’t have thought to describe myself as joyful, creative, or inquisitive.

一直到最近，我都不曾認為自己是個開心、有創意和富好奇心的人。 

Whereas I once thought about doing what fed my spirit, I started thinking about earning potential and prestige. Rather than doing things because they brought me joy, I did them because I was good at them. And things that I wasn’t didn’t make the cut.

以前我只知道讓自己的心靈快樂，但我開始把心思放在如何為自己贏得機會和名聲。我做一件事不再是為了讓自己開心，而是因為那是我所擅長的。做不好的事我不會去碰。

This was the time to start getting serious. Win the awards. Get scholarships. Get recognized.

我已經到了該認真的時候了。我要贏得名次，要拿到獎學金，要被大家認可。 

And stop wasting time.

不要再浪費時間了。 

Things got competitive, too. Friends started talking about test scores, then it was talk about college and graduate school and publications and careers.

生活開始變成一場競賽。朋友們開始談論考試的分數，開始談大學、研究所、發表的論文和事業之類的事。 

It was during that time that I also discovered insecurity. I got caught up in not good enough thinking, and I felt like an imposter all the time.

也就是從那個時候起，我開始變得沒有安全感。我開始覺得自己不夠好，要不斷地偽裝自己。

I don’t even think I noticed that I’d forgotten about joy. I’d laugh as I said, “I’ll be happy when…” only to find that there was always another “when” lurking around the corner.

我甚至沒有察覺我已經忘記什麼是開心了。我總是笑著說:「等我如何如何以後，我就會很開心了。」但是每次當我等到以後，就會有另外一個「等我如何如何」接踵而來。

I’d forgotten what we all know as children, that joy is a part of us. It’s not a place you arrive when you finally finish all of this serious business. It’s a piece of you that needs to be nurtured. 

我已經忘記當我們是孩子時都知道的事 -- 開心是我們的本性。開心不是等你做完所有要緊的事以後要到達的一個目的。開心是需要被培育的。 

But I didn’t nurture the joy. I let it go because I thought I could live without it. Even the things I did in the name of self-care had lost their joy.

但是我沒有去培育我的開心。我把它放開了，因為我認為沒有它我照樣可以過日子。即使是我為了健康的名義去做的一些事也不再給我樂趣。 

Running, which once left me feeling as free as the wind, became about getting faster and going farther.

跑步 -- 原本我喜歡它給我像風一樣自由自在的感覺，現在我只想跑得更快、更遠。

Yoga, which was meant to be a grounding and compassionate practice for me, became about sticking that handstand a little longer.

瑜伽 -- 原本是為了幫我把心定下來讓我更慈悲一點，現在我做倒立時，只想做得更久一點。 

Setting goals isn’t the problem here. It’s just that accomplishments aren’t the same thing as thriving.

問題不在於設定目標本身，問題在於功成名就並不表示我們獲得成長。

Looking back at all of this, I see that I’d made myself so small, I forgot I was in there at all.

現在回想起這些事，我發現我把自己變得好渺小， 我完全忽視了自己的存在。 

Oh, my success more than spoke for itself, but joy? Interests? Excitement? I’d shut them down one by one because I wasn’t good enough or because they weren’t serious enough. 

哦，我的成功會讓人刮目相看，至於開不開心， 我的興趣和熱情…? 我一個個把它們壓下去，因為我覺得自己還不夠好，因為這些東西不夠正經。 

I stopped drawing.

我不再畫畫。 

I stopped making jewelry.

我不再製作珠寶手飾。 

I stopped doing things just because they were enjoyable.

我不再做這些只是拿來消遺的事。

And why? Because I thought I could live without them.

為什麼呢? 因為我認沒有這些，我一樣會活得很好。 

I did everything you’re supposed to do, and I did everything in my power to do it just right. I got into that fancy private school on a full-ride, got the Ph.D., got the license, and got the stable job. And I became so entrenched in this serious, hard-worker identity that I forgot about me.

我做了所有該做的事，而且是盡了我最大能力。我以全額獎學金進了一所夢昧以求的私立學校，拿到博士學位和執照，有份穩定的工作。我沈浸在這個努力認真工作的自我形象裏，我完全忽略了我自己。 

I’m truly grateful for the opportunities and privileges and people in my life, but as a human being it felt like something was missing. Maybe those things I’d been living without might have been more necessary than I thought.

我很感謝我人生中得到過的機會、殊榮和貴人，但對於我自己 的存在，我總覺得少了什麼。也許那些我自以為不重要的東西其實很重要。

Little pieces of that happy little girl popped up from time to time, but I’d push them away or turn them into something too perfect.

那個開心小女孩的身影有時會浮現在我心裏，但我不是把它推開，就是認為那太不切實際了。 

And then one of those pieces shouted at me so loudly I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I was sitting on the blue mat in my son’s room reading Pete the Cat when it happened.

直到有一次那個感覺實在太強烈了，我不得不正視它。那時我正坐在兒子房間裏的藍色坐墊上讀「彼得貓」這本書。 

You should do this. Write a children’s book. 

你應該去寫一本兒童書。 

I could almost see myself step outside of my body and look at me in disbelief.

那一刻我覺得我的靈魂好像出了竅，正用一種難以置信的眼光看著我。 

Really? You? Write a children’s book?

不會吧? 你嗎?  寫兒童書? 

I tried to brush it off, but my heart was pounding and I could hardly breathe. I tried to go about my business, thinking this would go away on its own. But it didn’t.

我想把這個念頭甩開，但我的心跳加快，呼吸也短促起來。之後我若無其事地去做別的事，心想這個想法不久就會消失。但它沒有。 

After a lot of back and forth with myself, I finally mumbled the words to my husband, “I think I want to write a children’s book.”

經過百般來回思考後，我終於向先生低聲透露:「我想寫一本兒童書。」 

I braced myself for the same look of disbelief I gave myself, but none came.

我期待看到和我當時一樣不可置信的表情，但我沒有。 

“You should do it,” he said, apparently not at all surprised.

「你應該去做的。」他說，一點都不驚訝。

As much as I’d like to say this was some kind of magical transformation, it wasn’t. I didn’t quit my job and whip out a world-famous, award-winning children’s book. But that’s not the point of this story anyway.

我很想說這件事後來改寫了我的人生，但它沒有。我沒有辭掉工作，創作出一本世界聞名的得獎兒童作品。不過這也不是這篇故事的重點。 

The point is that I found joy again.

重點是，我重新找到了生活的樂趣。 

It took a while. I thought about it and analyzed it trying to make it disappear. I told myself I didn’t know what I was doing and didn’t have the time.

但它的落實沒那麼快。我經過反覆地思量和分析，希望這個念頭能夠消失。我跟自己說，我是怎麼了，我沒有這些時間啊。 

The thought stuck with me, though, growing louder and louder until, under the cover of darkness in the early morning hours, I pulled a sheet of paper from the printer, sharpened a pencil, and sat down.

但這個念頭一直出現在我腦海裏，而且變得越來越強烈。直到有一天清晨天還沒亮的時候，我摸黑從印表機中抽出一張紙，然後把鉛筆削尖了，坐下來。

Like one of those scenes from a movie when someone who’s had amnesia suddenly remembers their entire life, the memories of all the things I thought I could live without came flooding back. 

就像電影情節一樣，失去記憶的某人突然想起他的一生，所有我認為無所謂的過往回憶一下子湧上心頭。 

Have I really been living without this all this time? 

我真的這些日子以來都沒有這樣活過嗎 ? 

I filled pages upon pages with illustrations.

我在一張又一張的紙上畫滿了東西。

I made up rhymes and stories.

我作了一些詩，寫了一些故事。

And do you know what happened? I didn’t just feel joy. I felt free.

你知道發生什麼事嗎? 我不只感到喜悅，我覺得好自由。

I could probably go on living without this, but now I see that I don’t have to.

我也許可以繼續過沒有這些樂趣的生活，但我現在發現沒這個必要。 

I didn’t need to quit my job.

我不必辭掉我的工作。

I didn’t neglect my children.  

我沒有忽略我的孩子們。 

The house didn’t crumble at my feet.

我家沒有因此蹋下來。 

Pursuing this didn’t need to make me a cent. I didn’t even need to be very good at it.

做這些事不必要為我賺取分文。我甚至不需要做得很好。 

Because it was always about joy, and that’s not something I want to live without anymore. 

因為這一切都是為了開心而做，而且我再也不要過沒有這些樂趣的生活了。 

Living with joy doesn’t hurt anything. It doesn’t diminish your drive or ambition. It doesn’t make you less intelligent. And it sure doesn’t make you any less important.

讓生活中多點樂趣並沒有壞處。它不會減弱你的動力或企圖心，它也不會減少你的聰明才智，它更不會降低你的價值。 

Living with joy makes you free, and that freedom reminds of everything that is possible. Even the serious things.

生活中的喜悅會讓你感到自由奔放，給你一種什麼都難不倒你的感覺，包括你很嚴肅看待的事。

On the outside, my life probably looks pretty much the same since that night I sat on my son’s blue mat, but on the inside, everything is different.

表面上，我的生活在那晚坐在兒子的藍墊上以後並沒有什麼改變，但我的內心起了很大的變化。

Since then, I found that little girl that I didn’t even know had gone missing.

從那時起，我找到了那個我根本沒有察覺已經失蹤的小女孩。 

I remembered the roller skating routines, designing t-shirt, setting up photo shoots in the living room, and sitting on the edge of my seat holding my breath watching decorating shows.

我想起了我溜滑輪的招式，我怎麼設計T-恤，我曾經在客廳裏架起攝影棚，或坐在椅子邊上聚精會神地看著室內裝潢節目。

I remembered what it feels like to be happy and excited and inquisitive.

我想起來快樂、興奮和好奇是什麼感覺。

And now I get it. Just because you can live without something doesn’t mean you have to.

 現在我懂了。即使你沒有這些一樣可以過日子，並不表示你必須如此。

What piece of joy have you been telling yourself you can live without?

 你也捨棄了一些你覺得可有可無的樂趣嗎?

What do you think would happen if you said one day, “I don’t have to live without this?”

如果有一天你告訴自己: 「我何必放掉那些樂趣」，會是什麼狀況?

You can find that joy, even if that little piece of joy has been buried for a long time.

你會 找回那份喜悅，即便那小小的樂趣已經被你埋藏了許久。

To begin, start by saying yes to yourself a little more. Yes to that little spark of curiosity, yes to that little smile that you shrug off, and definitely yes to that burning feeling inside your chest that screams, “Listen to this. This is joy.”

一開始該怎麼做呢? 多肯定自己的感覺。肯定心中那個好奇的小火花，肯定那讓你會心一笑卻被你略過的事，而且絕對肯定你心中那份正對你吶喊的熱情: 「看著我，我是喜悅。」

It doesn’t matter if it feels ridiculous, it doesn’t matter if it’s “wasting time,” and it sure doesn’t matter if you’re any good at it. What matters is the feeling you get when you do it. Because that feeling like you’re going to laugh and cry and sit silently and run through the halls singing all at once, that’s joy. (And you don’t need to live without it.)

 也許那是件很好笑的事，也許你會覺得是浪費時間，也許你並不擅長那件事，這些都不重要。重要的是你做那件事的感覺。因為那個不知道讓你該笑還是該哭，該坐下來靜一靜還是拉開嗓門奔過走廊的感覺，就是喜悅。(而且你不必將它排除在生活之外。)

Remember to pursue more than success or accomplishment. Those are important, but so are the things that bring you meaning, connection, and engagement in your life.

不要只忙著追求豐功偉業。這些事雖然重要，但讓你覺得人生有意義、有共鳴、有參與感的事也很重要。

Feel the spontaneous moments of joy that seem to bubble up out of nowhere, and plan a few to look forward to. Fill those moments with activities that fill you up. Simply unplugging is not enough when you’re after joy. And above all else, do not cancel on yourself.

留意一下那些突如其來湧上心頭的喜悅感，並且計劃一些活動，為未來製造更多的喜悅。做一些讓自己滿足開心的事，因為單單地休息並不能 帶來喜悅。最重要的是，不要取消和自己心靈的約會。

As you do this, stay alert for that voice that says you can live without this. Maybe you can, but maybe you don’t have to anymore.

 當你開始活在樂趣中以後，留意內心可能會有個聲音告訴你: 沒有這些你也可以活下去。也許是可以，但是你沒有必要再過那樣的日子。

 * Judy H 譯 *




About Leslie Ralph

Leslie writes at A Year of Happy where she combines her years of training and practice as a psychologist with the lessons she’s still learning as a working mom. Each month, she tackles a new topic inspired by life as a mom, positive psychology, and meditation. Stop by to download your free two-minute revitalizing meditation.


關於萊絲莉‧瑞爾芙

 萊絲莉結合她多年的心理醫師背景和職業婦女的生活體驗，在她年年快樂的網站上發表她相關文章。每個月她會針對職業婦女的生活挑戰、正面心理學和靜坐等方面，選擇一個主題和大家分享。你還可以從她的網站下載免費的兩分鐘養神靜坐。



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