如何對待「心靈知己」決定我們的快樂指數。
How you treat your “soul mate” determines how happy you will be.
By Judy H
想像你一出生沒多久，就認識了一位朋友。之後你們一起長大 -- 吃喝、玩耍、睡覺都在一起。時間久了，她成了讓你感覺最自在的一位朋友。她對你瞭若指掌，什麼事會讓你心情低落，什麼事會讓你開心，她都一清二楚。你很在乎並且看重這位朋友，把她看成是你完美的心靈知己。
Imagine that you met someone when you were born. Then you grew up with her, playing, eating and sleeping together. Over time, she became the person you were most comfortable with. She knew you inside out, what brought you down and what made you happy. You honored and adored her and thought she was the perfect soul mate.
有一天你碰到另外一個人，你開始拿這位新朋友和你的知己比較。你發現，哇! 這位新朋友有一些很棒的特質，是你的知己所不具備的。這時你完全忘了你的知己也有一些很出色的特質和才華。你很羨慕這個人，便開始要求你的知己能變得和她一樣。不過，這對你的知己是件很困難的事。不管她多麼努力想改變自己，她都沒有辦法把自己完全改造得和這個人一樣。
One day you had a chance to meet someone else and you started to compare this person with your soul mate. You discovered, wow, this person had some amazing qualities that your soul mate did not have. You completely forgot about the incredible qualities and talents your soul mate had. You envied this new person and began to ask your soul mate to change to be more like her. Unfortunately, this was very difficult for your soul mate. No matter how hard she tried to change herself, she could never become exactly the same person you wanted her to be.
於是，你開始責備你的知己。你責備她不夠努力，不夠聰明，不能為你做更多的改變。你的知己很傷心，因為你再也不重視和陪伴在她身邊了。以前你們總是很開心地在一起說笑，現在你們只會彼此抱怨和討厭對方。你們之間變得很不快樂。
You started to blame your soul mate for not trying hard, for not being smart enough and for not being able to change for you. Your soul mate was very sad because you no longer adored her and hanged out with her. Instead of laughing and having fun together, frustration and loathing became to develop between you and your soul mate. The relationship you had with your soul mate became an unhappy one.
有一天，你終於受不了了，你對知己說:「我沒辦法和你一起生活了。」但是就在這個時候，你發現你這一輩子都不可能和你的知己分開，天涯海角你都會和她走到最後一天。你早已註定要和這位知己一起做這趟人間之旅，完成你們此行的目的。
One day, you had enough and told your soul mate: “I can’t live with you anymore.” Only then did you realize that you couldn’t separate from her until you died. You had chosen this soul mate to have this journey together in this world to fulfill a purpose.
這位知己就是你自己。
This soul mate is like your real self.
你把她推得越遠，你越覺得有壓力; 你越想改變她，你越覺得沮喪; 而且你越否定她，你就越不喜歡你自己。你和這位知己的命運是息息相關的。
The more you push her, the more you are stressed; the more you want to change her, the more you will feel frustrated; and the more you deny her, the more you would dislike yourself. Your destiny is closely tied with that of your soul mate.
(這是為什麼當人憂鬱到極點覺得無法和自己相處時，有人可能會選擇離開這個世界。)
(When people are so depressed that they feel they cannot live with themselves, they may go down the drastic route to leave this world.)
所以，如果我們覺得我們的知己 – 或是自己-- 不夠好，總是想掙脫或改變她，我們有可能會快樂嗎?
Do you think you would have a happy life if you constantly struggle with your soul mate, or yourself, thinking that she is not good enough?
想體驗平安和喜樂的唯一方法是完全地接納、包容和重視自己。因為你會和這位「知己」共度一生，你也許該多花點時間去了解她，讓她開心。怎麼讓她開心呢? 對我來說，是接受她真實的面目，做她喜歡和讓她高興的事。也就是說，我們應該這樣對待自己!
The only way you can have peace and joy is to accept, allow and honor yourself. Since you are going to spend your entire life with your “soul mate”, it’s obvious that it’s worth getting to know her and make her happy. How do you make her happy? For me, it’s taking her as who she is and doing things that she likes or makes her laugh. In other words, do exactly these things to yourself !
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💜 希望這篇故事也可以幫助我們理解身邊憂鬱的朋友。
Hopefully this story can also help us better understand people who suffer from depression.💜
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