五秒鐘改造自我批判的大腦 / A Simple 5-Second Habit to Rewire Your Harshly Self-Critical Brain


來源 / Source:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/simple-5-second-habit-rewire-harshly-self-critical-brain/

Judy H:
我個人試過覺得很好用。所以譯出來和大家分享
I personally tried this practice and loved it. So here it is for your benefit 😊



By Joel Almeida
作者: 喬伊‧艾爾米達

Sometimes I feel like a spider whose web is repeatedly torn down. I plan something and start taking action. Then life happens, and setbacks threaten to sap my energy and enthusiasm.

有時候我覺得自己像隻蜘蛛,織的網不斷被扯破。我擬定了計畫,採取行動。但是總是會有意外讓事情不順,失敗不斷在考驗我的精力和熱情。

Whenever I take on too much, I can feel as if I’m juggling a million balls. And doing it badly.

如果我一次做太多事,我會覺得好像手上同時在耍一百萬個球似的,而且耍得好糟糕。

You’ve probably seen T-shirts saying, “Things are a bit crazy around here.” That could easily describe me when I allow myself to become overloaded.

也許你看過這樣的T恤,上面寫著:「我快抓狂了!」這就是我承載量太大時的寫照。

It’s easy to feel stressed and to slip into harsh self-criticism. Especially when I hold myself to unrealistic perfectionism or get swept away by impatience. Or when I start comparing myself to others who seem to be in a better space.

我們很容易就陷入緊繃、批判自己的狀態,尤其當我對自己的要求過於完美,失去耐心的時候,或者當我開始和別人比較,覺得別人的狀況好像比我好的時候。

But all’s not lost. I love to keep learning. That keeps me hopeful about finding solutions, no matter what the problem.

但事情還沒那麼糟糕。我喜歡學習新的東西,所以我對任何問題的解決方法都會抱著希望。

I keep identifying and adopting simple science-based actions that yield big payoffs for well-being. The simpler the practice, the more easily it fits into my busy life.

我一直在找尋並試用一些簡單有科學根據的方法,這些方法對我的身心健康發揮了事半功倍的效果。而且方法越簡單,我越容易在忙錄的生活中去應用

So, what can be done when life gets too stressful and setbacks lead to harsh self-criticism?

那麼,當我們覺得壓力太大,遭遇挫敗讓我們想對自己無情地批判時 ,有什麼辦法呢?

The Tug of War in Your Brain 
大腦中的拉距戰

Until relatively recently, scientists believed that the brain could not develop beyond a certain age. The adult brain could not change, it was thought, apart from gradually shrinking from your late twenties onward. So, if your brain habitually criticized and demotivated you, then that was how you’d remain.

一直到最近,科學家們相信我們的大腦在某個年齡以後就不會再發展了。他們認為成人的大腦不會再改變,除了在二十多歲晚期以後會開始逐漸縮小以外。所以,如果你的大腦會習慣性地批判和打擊自己,那麼你以後一直都會如此。

That view is simply mistaken, as science has discovered. Your brain can develop, even during adulthood.

但科學家們已經發現,這個觀點是錯的。你的大腦還可以繼續發展,甚至在成人階段以後。

There’s hope for us all, provided we start respecting ourselves enough to practice self-care.

這給了我們希望 – 假設從此以後我們都能以尊重自己的態度,開始學習善待自己。

How would you like to start rewiring your harshly self-critical brain using a simple five-second habit? I’ll share a transformational habit I’ve adopted, but first let’s understand this a bit more. Once you understand why a practice works, it’s easier to make it part of your life.

如果有一個簡單只花5秒鐘的習慣就可以改造你那嚴苛批判自己的大腦,你會願意試試看嗎? 讓我分享一個我個人實行的改造計畫,首先讓我們先對它有所認識。

Stress and negativity do remarkable things to your brain. When stress overwhelms you enough to keep your mood constantly low, your brain starts to gradually change. The core component of your brain, the grey matter, grows less dense in some helpful parts of your brain. But it grows denser in some self-critical parts.

壓力和負面思考對你的大腦有不可思議的影響。當壓力大到讓你的心情一直處在低潮,你的大腦會開始慢慢轉變。大腦中的核心元素,所謂的「灰質」會在某些對你有幫助的地方開始變得稀疏,但在某些自我批判的部份會開始增加。

It’s almost as if there’s a tug of war between these two parts. An overdose of stress weakens the helpful parts, allowing the self-critical parts to dominate.

這兩者幾乎是處在一個拉距的狀態。壓力大的時候會讓有幫助的部份減弱,讓自我批判的部份處於強勢。

That’s the bad news. Fortunately, there’s good news. 這是個壞消息。不過,也有好消息。 Your brain can keep developing, and the unhelpful changes can be reversed. You have “stem cells,” so named because they can develop into various types of new brain cells. Also, new connections can develop between the cells in your brain.

你的大腦還在持續發展,而不好的部份是可以逆轉的。你身上有「幹細胞」,所以叫這個名稱是因為它們可以發展成不同種類的新腦細胞。而且,腦細胞之間還可以形成新的連結。

You can encourage such helpful developments by the actions and thoughts you embrace. In effect, you can assist your brain to keep developing in a helpful way.

你可以用行為和思想來影響腦細胞的發展。也就是,你可以幫助你的大腦持續往健康的方向發展。

Before I describe the simple but powerful five-second practice, there’s a story I want to share. It will help illustrate how the practice works.

在我說明這個簡單有效的五秒鐘方法前,我想先分享一個故事。這會幫助大家理解如何運用這個方法。

My Story
我的故事

I had once accumulated a lot of weight, was on statin treatment for high cholesterol levels, and couldn’t shed the excess weight despite regularly exercising. I attributed this to being over forty. I knew I was on a conveyor belt headed for a coronary bypass operation or heart attack and was keen to escape.

我曾經一度體重過重,因為膽固醇太高而服用statin降血脂藥,而且即使我規律地運動也甩不掉身上多餘的肉。我想這些毛病是因為我已經年過四十了。我知道我就像躺在一個輸送帶上,正通往需要冠狀動脈繞道手術或得心臟病的路上,我急於擺脫這樣的命運。

Then a noticeably trim classmate from my medical school visited us and ate surprisingly small portions of some things but surprisingly large portions of others. They too were over forty years old. What did they know that I didn’t?

那時有位醫學院的同學來拜訪我們,他的身材很苗條。讓人訝異的是,有些東西他吃得很少,有些就吃得很多。他們也年過四十了。他們知道什麼是我不知道的?

Health and well-being are, to me, priceless treasures. People often destroy their well-being in desperate pursuit of material things. They can end up ill, sometimes forfeiting even the material things they craved.

身心的平安健康對我而言是無價之寶。很多人總是拼了命去追求物質上的東西卻毀掉他們的幸福生活。他們最後可能會病倒,有時甚至把他們努力獲得的物質東西也賠上了。

I didn’t want to be yet another person sleepwalking toward a heart attack. I decided to investigate the secrets of staying trim despite middle age. I was strongly motivated, and in a helpful way.

我並不想成為另一個渾然不覺走向心臟病的人,所以我決定開始研究步入中年仍能保持身材的秘訣。我有一個很強烈而且正向的動機。 

There were many challenges. I needed to grapple with the scientific literature, to untangle the conflicting information about how to eat well.

這個過程中有很多挑戰。為了要學習如何吃得健康,我必須去研究科學文獻,解讀一些彼此矛盾的訊息。

My other big challenge was that I love delicious food, especially when eating in company. I was wary of solutions that took all the enjoyment out of food, or tended to isolate me from friends and family.

我的另一個大挑戰是,我很喜歡美食,尤其是和別人一起共享的時候。 所以我會避免選用一些會讓我對食物失去樂趣或讓我不得和親朋好友們相聚的辦法。

Eventually I found an approach that transformed my health for good, but the details are for another time. The point here is that I had many setbacks and failures along the way. Despite the setbacks, I succeeded in permanently reducing my waist circumference by several inches and no longer need the statin treatment.

終於,我找到一個可以改造我身體健康的長久之計,細節容我以後再說明。重點是,在實行的過程中,我一再受到挫折和失敗。不過僅管如此,我還是成功地把腰圍減了好幾吋,而且再也不需要服用降血脂藥了。

There’s one practice that helped me, more than anything else, to recover after setbacks. It’s so stupidly simple that its power easily can be underestimated.

有一個方法特別有效, 它幫助我在受挫的時候重新站起來。這個方法實在太簡單了,簡單到讓人會低估它的效果。

But it works, as long as it’s practiced consistently.

但是它確實有效,只要能持之以恆地加以練習。

I call it REBS. You’ll discover why.

我把它叫做 REBS,你很快就會知道為什麼。

REBS Tames Your Harsh Inner Critic 
讓REBS遏止你內心嚴厲的批判 

When I was a young child, I was fascinated by orderly lines of ants. I spent ages observing them and perversely enjoyed drawing a stick or finger across the line. That would confuse the ants, and chaos would ensue.

我小時候對螞蟻整齊的爬行隊伍很感興趣。我會花很長的時間觀察牠們,然後故意把棍子或手指橫放在牠們隊伍的中間來擾亂牠們,造成隊伍的秩序大亂。

However, in a little while, the line would form once again. The ants recovered and resumed doing what was important in their lives.

但是沒過多久,螞蟻的隊伍就會重新恢復。螞蟻們找到恢復的方法,重新做牠們該做的事。

Let’s say you decide that something is important in your life and you plan how to act accordingly. Perhaps, like me, you’re keen on avoiding a heart attack and you decide to start eating better. Let’s say you’re armed with the relevant knowledge and know exactly what to do.

舉例說,你覺得有件事對你很重要,所以你擬定了行動計畫。也許像我一樣,你一心要避免得心臟病,所以決定開始重視你的飲食健康。假設你具備了所有的相關知識,完全知道該怎麼做。

You start out enthusiastically, until a setback happens. Perhaps someone presents you with a box of your favorite chocolates.

你興致勃勃地開始展開行動,但一個挑戰來了。也許是有人給了你一盒你最喜歡的功克力。

Before you know it the chocolates are somehow all out of the box and inside you. Within half an hour! Many people might consider that a triumph, but let’s say that you consider it a setback.

不知不覺地,盒子裏全部的巧克力都進了你的肚子裏。而且才半小時的工夫! 很多人也許覺得這樣很棒,但假設這對你來說是個挫敗。

This is a crucial moment. What do you do? Start criticizing yourself?

關鍵時刻來了。你會怎麼做? 開始批判你自己嗎?

What if, instead, you treat this setback as a temporary blip? You focus on resuming your journey of eating well. When you sit down for your next nourishing meal, you accept your stumble but congratulate yourself for getting back on track.

還是,你能把這個挫敗當作是一個短暫的失誤? 然後重新把注意力放回到健康的飲食上。當你坐下來吃下一頓營養的膳食時,你可以接受你的失誤,然後恭喜你自己重新回到正軌上。

Even when you don’t stumble and fall, you keep congratulating yourself for each small advance. Each nourishing meal, in this context, becomes a small triumph and an occasion for self-congratulation. Each half-hour without grazing on snacks becomes another small triumph and another occasion for self-congratulation.

即使你沒有跌倒或失誤,你可以對每一個小小的進步不斷地恭喜自己。就這個例子來說,你吃的每一頓營養膳食都是一個勝利,都是你可以拿來恭喜自己的機會。每半小時你沒有拿零食來吃就是一個小贏,就值得嘉許自己。

Imagine rewarding yourself for every small advance, with a quick self-congratulatory phrase. Especially when you get back on track after a setback.

想像一下,每次你有一個小進步,你就用一句簡短恭賀的話來嘉獎自己,尤其是當你從挫敗中站起來的時候。

You can, in this way, create a steady stream of self-congratulation that is based on real advances. You don’t settle for empty words. Instead, you acknowledge and celebrate doing each small step, which carries you in your chosen direction.

這個方式可以讓你根據實際的進步不斷地恭賀自己。不要敷衍過去,每一個朝向目標前進的小進步你都要看在眼裏,褒獎自己一下。

When your mind is busy with this reality-based self-congratulation, there’s less room for harsh self-criticism, or brutal perfectionism, or comparing yourself to others. You start to transform your self-image and self-confidence.

當你忙於根據事實嘉獎自己時,你就沒有多餘的心思來嚴格地批判自己、要求自己完美或和別人比較。你會開始改造你自己的形象並建立自信。

I call this practice REBS, short for reality-based self-congratulation. It’s a rebellion against your harsh inner critic, who can otherwise be a demotivating tyrant. It helps the self-respecting part of you to prevail over the harshly self-critical part of you.

我稱這個方法叫REBS:「用事實嘉獎自己」,它是 「REality-Based Self-Congratulation」 的縮寫,它可以幫你抵抗內心那個嚴苛的批判者,那個總是無情打擊你的暴君。它可以幫助你善待自己,戰勝那個無情批判自己的聲音。

You start to unleash the self-repairing power of your brain, even as you transform your self-image.

當你開始改造自我的形象時,你就啟動了你大腦自我修復的能力。

Setbacks become an opportunity for you to recover and practice REBS. The more you do this, the harder it becomes for setbacks and stress to keep you down.

從此挫折變成你再接再厲和練習REBS -「用事實嘉獎自己」的機會。你做的次數越多,你就越難被挫折和壓力打倒。

Which self-congratulatory phrase could you use? The simplest is probably “I’m doing this, I’m okay.” Your “it” can be the smallest meaningful step imaginable, such as sitting down for a healthy meal.

那麼你該用什麼話嘉獎自己呢? 最簡單的可能是「我正在採取行動,我很好。」你正在採取行動的可能是一個很小的正面行為,例如坐下來吃一頓健康的膳食

Keep this practice firmly based in reality, anchored to your small helpful steps. Then you’ll be able to do it meaningfully and with conviction. But do it at every opportunity, no matter how small your triumph.

實行這個方法時要根據事實,緊跟著你做的每件有幫助的小事,你就會做得更有效,更有信心。把握每一個應用這個方法的機會,不管你的進步有多小。

In summary: Take a meaningful small step, then treat yourself to a quick dose of REBS (reality-based self-congratulation). Repeat, and keep going.

簡單來說就是: 每做一件有意義的小事,就很快地「用事實嘉獎自己」一下。重覆這個方法進行下去。

Suffered a setback? Pick yourself up, resume your journey with the next small step, and treat yourself to a quick dose of REBS.

遭遇挫敗了嗎? 打起精神,重新開始走下一步,然後很快「用事實嘉獎自己」一下。

Is This Relevant to Other Situations? 
這對其他狀況也有效嗎? 

I used my experience with eating well as an example. But we could apply this to a wide variety of situations.

我用自己的飲食經驗做一個例子,但是我們可以把這個方法應用到很多不同的情況。

If you feel worn out from taking care of others and have forgotten how to take care of yourself, then your small step can be as simple as listing your own needs.

如果你一直在忘我地照顧別人,覺得有點累了,那麼你可以做的一件小事可能是把自己的需要列出來。

If you’re a recovering workaholic, then your small step can be as simple as taking a short walk, or meditating for a few minutes, or freeing up an evening for playful relaxation with your partner.

如果你正在戒酒,那麼你可以做的一件小事可能是到外面走一圈,靜坐幾分鐘,或是空出晚上的時間和另一半好好放鬆一下。

If you’re a sales manager who’s just lost a big deal, then your small step can be as simple as identifying the next good prospect.

如果你是一位銷售經理,最近剛失去一筆生意,那麼你的一小步可能是找到下一個好機會。

If you’re a doctor or health care professional overwhelmed by the demands on your time, or complaints from patients, then your small step can be as simple as taking a short break to regain perspective and consider your options.

如果你是一位醫生或醫療人員,忙得分身乏術或病人的抱怨太多,那麼你的一小步可能是讓自己休息一下,冷靜下來想想接下來該怎麼做。

If you’re a business owner trying to cope with unhelpful staff or business partners, then your small step can be as simple as choosing the most important points you want to communicate to them.

如果你是位老闆,員工或合夥人不太合作,那麼你可以做的一件小事可能是找出你要和他們溝通的重點。

If you’re scurrying around at work like a headless chicken, then your small step can be as simple as putting other tasks aside and focusing on just one important task in your long list.

如果你在工作中忙得不可開交,那麼你可以做的一件小事可能是把別的事先放在一邊,專心做你滿滿的行事曆上一件比較重要的事。

If you’re confused about some decision, then your small step can be as simple as listing your options, in order to consider the pros and cons before choosing.

如果你不知道該如何做決定,你可以做的一小步可能是將你的選擇寫下來,考慮它們的優缺點,再做決定。

If you applied for a better job but didn’t get it, then your small step can be as simple as listing other opportunities.

如果你沒有拿到一份更好的工作,你的一小步可能是去找其他的機會。

If you have a disabling illness, then your small step can be very small indeed. It might be as simple as getting out of bed, or walking a few paces without a stick, or contacting a friend.

如果你因為生病行動困難,那麼你可以做的事可能真的很小。可能只是下床,不用拐杖走幾步看看,或找一位朋友幫忙。

If you’ve had a bitter argument with your partner or child, then your small step can be as simple as reaching out with a gesture of reconciliation. And so on.

如果你和另外一半或孩子吵架了,你的下一小步可能是表示和好的善意。

You decide what actions are good, helpful and important in your life at this time.

你可以決定現在做什麼事比較重要,應該採取什麼行動才會有幫助。

This practice can be applied in all areas of your life: personal, family and home life, community life, work life etc.

你可以在生活中不同的情況下應用這個方法,不管是對個人、家庭、社區生活,還是工作上。

The Payoff 
好處多多

We all make unwise choices and experience setbacks. Your harsh inner critic can sometimes make you feel worthless and unlovable. REBS (reality-based self-congratulation) allows you to rebel against the tyranny of that inner critic.

我們都有做錯選擇或遭遇挫折的時候。但你心裏那個嚴苛的裁判有時會讓你覺得自己很沒用,一點都不可愛。「用事實嘉獎自己」可以幫助你抵抗心中那個無情的裁判。

It reminds you that you’re always worthy of respect, love, and forgiveness. Even when you stumble—and especially when you stumble.

它會提醒你,你永遠都配得到尊重,愛和原諒 ,即使在你跌倒的時候 -- 特別是在你跌倒的時候。

Is this simple five-second practice the answer to all life’s problems and challenges? Of course not. Does your brain get rewired immediately? Of course not, it takes consistent practice. REBS needs to become a habit.

這簡單的五秒鐘練習就能解決我們人生所有的問題和挑戰嗎? 當然不能。你的大腦會立刻轉變嗎? 當然不會,因為它需要持之以恆地練習。「用事實嘉獎自己」必須變成一個習慣。

Do you still have to decide what really matters to you, make plans, and solve problems? Of course you do.

你仍然需要做一些抉擇,擬定計畫去解決問題嗎? 當然。

But REBS is a very useful companion on your journey. That’s because it takes almost no time, yet works powerfully to help you grow out of overly harsh self-criticism. You start to respect and take care of yourself.

但是「用事實嘉獎自己」會對你的人生起很大的作用。它幾乎不花任何時間,但可以有效地幫你戒掉對自己嚴厲批判的習慣。

Instead of brooding over setbacks, you begin treating each setback as a springboard for small helpful steps, accompanied by self-congratulation.

從此以後,你不會再陷入挫敗的懊悔中,你會開始把每一個挫折當作是前進的小跳板和獎勵自己的機會。

You become less easily discouraged. In a subtle way, you become almost unstoppable in pursuit of whatever you value deeply. Your perseverance starts to resemble that of determined ants who re-form a broken line, or of a spider who resumes spinning a destroyed web.

從此你不再那麼容易洩氣,甚至會有一種朝目標勇往直前的感覺。你開始培養出像那些恢復秩序的螞蟻或重新織網的蜘蛛一樣的毅力。

Success is no longer confined to the distant future. Instead, it starts to inhabit each meaningful small step that you take in your chosen direction.

成功不再感覺那麼遙不可及。它會開始附著在你採取的每個有意義的小步驟裏,直到你達成目標。

You start to rewire your brain. Your inner critic starts to transform into a helpful cheerleader. Instead of a constant stream of negative self-talk, you start to enjoy a steady flow of self-congratulation.

同時你開始改造你的大腦。你內心那個嚴厲的裁判開始變成你的啦啦隊。你聽到的不再是一連串的負面聲音,而是不停的自我嘉獎。

Your confidence grows, and your life starts to become more meaningful, fulfilling and joyful.

你會越來越有自信,生活也會變得更有意義、充實和喜樂。

This practice of reality-based self-congratulation (REBS) costs virtually nothing. It requires only consistency, so that the helpful new neurons and connections in your brain become well established.

「用事實嘉獎自己」這個方法沒有任何花費,它需要的只是不斷地練習,讓你大腦中新生成的正向神經細胞和連結變得穩固不可動搖。

A surprising benefit is that REBS pulls me into the present moment. Instead of brooding over past failures or fearing future uncertainties, I focus increasingly on a small step that carries me in my chosen direction.

此外,我還得到一個意外的收穫,「用事實嘉獎自己」幫助我活在每個當下。我不再沈浸在過去的失敗或對將來的恐懼裏,我開始把注意力放在幫助我達成目標的每個小動作上。

REBS has helped transform my life. I have a clearer head and feel more at peace, others often remark that I’m now much more fun to be with, and I’m better off in almost every way. Despite all my flaws and the frequent, inevitable setbacks of life, I’m constantly reminded that I’m okay.

「用事實嘉獎自己」改變了我的人生。我的思考變得更清楚,內心更平靜。我周圍的人都說我比以前更好相處,而且我在各方面都有好的轉變。雖然我還是有缺點,還是有人生中無法避免的挫折,有個聲音經常在提醒我: 我很好。

Simple science-based practices with outsize benefits appeal to me because I’m so busy. REBS is one of my favorites among the life-enriching practices I’ve tried and adopted. I love how the practice can be started straight away, and become a treasured, self-empowering part of life.

因為我很忙, 所以我喜歡用簡單有科學根據,但效果宏大的方法。「用事實嘉獎自己」是我試用過所有改造生活的方法中我很喜歡的一個。它不僅可以立即實行,而且可以融入生活中變成一個鼓舞自己的好工具。

Conclusion 
結論 

Whatever the setbacks or failures you’ve experienced, whatever unhelpful choices you’ve made, you’re still okay, you’re always worthy of respect and love.

不管你經歷了什麼挫敗,做了什麼錯誤的抉擇,你都會沒事,你仍然值得被尊重和關愛

We all need a bit of understanding and mercy. REBS turns you into a more forgiving and encouraging friend to yourself. It lets the seeds of success be planted in the soil of defeat.

我們都需要別人的理解和關心。「用事實嘉獎自己」會把你變成一個對自己更包容和支持的朋友,它會將成功的種子散播到失敗的泥土裏。

It helps reduce the chaos of a challenging life to a helpful small step, accompanied by self-congratulation.

它會幫我們在面對生活中的挑戰時,將理不清的頭緒簡化成一個有幫助的小步驟和自我獎勵。

You might want to start this five-second practice and make it a habit. You could start right away and experience the difference.

你也許想試試看這個五秒鐘的方法,並把它養成一個習慣。你現在就可以開始,去感覺它帶給你的不同體驗。







About Joel Almeida

Joel Almeida, Ph.D., is on a mission to help busy, successful people live with more calm, energy and brain-power: through science-based tips. These tips also help you reduce your risk of eventual dementia. Get a free report which reveals the powerful device that can make you calmer within minutes (hint: you have this device already).

關於喬伊‧艾爾米達

喬伊‧艾爾米達博士擅長運用有科學根據的方法幫助忙碌的成功人士保持頭腦冷靜,增加他們的活力和腦力。這些方法也有助於防止老年時智力退化的風險。這裏有一份免費報告,它會透露給你一個非常有效的工具,能在幾分鐘內幫助你冷靜下來。(提示: 你已經具備這項工具了 !)

* Judy H 譯 *



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每天記錄開心事,找到你的快樂日記》 / Keep a Happiness Journal and Find Your Joy

和誰比 / Why Compare



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