「我們每一個人都有一種能力，能夠感覺到什麼可以給我們帶來快樂。」~ 讓娜‧西奧-法金
"Each of us has the ability to know what brings us joy." ~ Jeanne Siaud-Facchin
書摘 / Book Excerpt
作者: 讓娜‧西奧-法金
Author: Jeanne Siaud-Facchin
如果「幸福」不存在？追求微小幸福的藝術
Happiness does not exist? How about pursuing small joys
生活在一個有權利追求幸福的社會，我們有責任幸福，幸福成了一種義務。如果我們無法得到幸福，則是沒有理由的，肯定是某個人的錯：配偶的錯，孩子的錯，老闆的錯，身邊人的錯，政府的錯……這個時代要求我們高聲並強烈地爭取這項權利和義務 ─ 一定要幸福！
Living in a world where people are given the right to pursue their happiness, it almost becomes a responsibility to be happy; in fact, being happy becomes an obligation. There is no reason that we can’t be happy. If we find ourselves unhappy, it must be someone else’s fault – our spouse, the kids, boss, people around us, the government…. We live in an era where we are encouraged to fight for this right and obligation – to become happy!
於是，我們就相信或假裝相信預設的幸福：夢想中的房子、令人驚奇的旅行、讓我們變得如此美麗且令人嚮往的產品、能夠滿足一切需求的商店、讓我們變得迷人的品牌……等等。我還可以繼續舉例，但這不是我要說的主要內容。以下才是我希望和大家分享的觀點：我們每一個人都有一種能力，能夠感覺到什麼可以給我們帶來快樂，什麼能夠讓我們與自己、與他人愉快地相處。
Therefore, we create a model of happiness and believe in it, or we pretend that we believe in it, where this model includes a dream house, incredible trips, products that we must have to make us look beautiful, stores that provide everything we need, brands that make us attractive… and so on. I can go on and on, but this is not my point. What I really want to share with all of you is this: each of us has the ability to know what brings us joy and what allows us to be in peace with ourselves and other people.
不要再等待了，不要再繼續尋找所謂的「幸福」。
No more waiting, no more searching for “Happiness.”
人們總是在追求「幸福」，有時是終其一生都在追尋。人們總是認為自己一定能幸福，當孩子成功；當我們買了夢想中的房子；當我們得到晉升；當我們有足夠多的錢可以做很多事情；當我們被大家認識且得到大家認可；當我們退休且有自己的時間……但我們卻錯過了我們的人生，我們不在節奏中。這是微小幸福可以觸及的節奏，能夠讓我們的人生變得熠熠生輝、多姿多彩、魅力無限、舒適安逸。當然，我並沒有無視真正的痛苦，沒有無視人生中真正的社會、文化、心理和事件的不幸與悲苦。我深深地同情並尊重那些受苦的人。但是我這裡說的是其他人，是能夠擁有普通幸福的普通人，而他們卻抱怨無法獲得特別的幸福。
We are always in the pursuit of happiness, and for some people, this pursuit consumes their whole life. People believe that they will be happy - when their kids are successful, when they buy their dream house, when they get promoted, when they have enough money to do more things, when they become well-known and recognized, when they are retired and have more time …. But in the midst of all this, we miss our lives and the beats of our songs. It is the small joys in our lives that go along with the beats and make our lives feel glorious, colorful, attractive and comfortable. Of course, I am not playing down the pains or the misfortune and agony people suffer as a result of social, cultural, psychological or incidental impacts. I have deep sympathy for those in suffering. What I am referring to here are people who have access to the ordinary joy but complain that they cannot attain the extraordinary happiness.
這只是一個圈套。幸福就在那裡，而且這幸福就已經是特別的幸福！
This is just a trap. Your happiness is right here and is already extraordinary!
你的微小幸福是什麼?
What are your small joys?
思考一下：什麼東西(哪怕是微小的)給你們帶來深深的滿足感，或轉瞬即逝的滿足感，什麼都行。看看你們的周圍，你們的生活，你們是否看到這些奇妙的小事物在閃耀，而長期的、具有傳染性的不滿足感卻試圖阻止你們看到它們？你們是否看到這些你們在戰勝自己、戰勝困難之後，所獲得的大大小小的成功？你們在內心深處是否明白，對於自己實現的事物，對於自己擁有的事物，讓你們有多麼驕傲。
Think about this: Are there any things (no matter how small they are) that bring you a feeling of satisfaction, whether it touches deep in your heart or flashes across your mind? Anything will do. Look around you, in your life. Do you see any small but amazing things that are sparkling around you but you have failed to notice because of the contagious discontent you have been harboring for a long time? Do you see your successes, big and small, that you have achieved as a result of being able to work with yourself and overcome the challenges? Do you see, deep in you, how proud you could be of yourself for having achieved and attained the things you already have?
即使社會不停向我們灌輸我們可以做得更好。但要與什麼比較呢？我們唯一的計量儀是我們自己；唯一需要的，是能夠讓我們與內心的我們一致的東西。而我們是唯一能夠瞭解這個內在自我的人。這個內在的自我屬於我們自己，是最珍貴的財富。沒有比這更珍貴的了，更不用說在外部世界。重新聚焦於自身，這樣更好不是嗎？
Even though the society relentlessly tells us that we can be better, but what do we want to be better than? The only barometer for our condition is ourselves. The only thing we need is something that can align us with our inner self. And who can understand that inner self better than us? This inner self resides in each of us and is our most precious treasure. Nothing is more precious than that, let alone the outside world. So isn’t it much better to re-focus our attention on ourselves?
幸福就是得到更多滿足感，而不是失落感
Happiness is about feeling of satisfaction, instead of frustration.
當滿足感在失落感持續的重壓下逐漸消失時，我們會立即感受到痛苦。重點是要明白，對於我們每個人而言，什麼是滿足，什麼又是失落，兩者不同卻又很相似：讓我們幸福的，是在「內心深處」感覺自己處於對的位置，感覺自己過著適合自己、與自己相似的生活。
When the feeling of satisfaction is pushed out by the heavy weight of frustration, we will immediately feel pain. The key is to understand, what is satisfaction and what is frustration, for each of us; they are different yet similar. What makes us happy is the feeling “deep down in us” that we are at a right place living a life that fits with and aligns with who we are.
處在對的位置意思是，我們沒有在旅途中迷失方向，我們的旅途並不是通向死胡同，雖然我們的道路也不是特別明亮。我們的旅途沒有炫爛到令我們眼花撩亂，但也沒有讓我們不滿意。我們沒有在別人開闢但不是自己所選擇的道路上冒險。我們運用自己的資源、力量、侷限性、脆弱和弱點，打造了一條道路。在這條路上，我們愉快地走著，遇到了一些人或事讓我們變得更加富有，實現了能夠讓我們快樂的事。
Falling into that right place means that we are not lost on our journey. Our journey is not leading to a dead end, though it is not a particularly bright one. Our journey is neither so dazzled that confuses us nor does it make us feel unsatisfied. We are not venturing on a path that was carved out by other people that is not of our choice. We blaze our path with our own resources, strengths, limitations, vulnerability and weaknesses. We pleasantly walk on this path where we come across other people and situations that help enrich our lives and create our own happiness.
這並不意味著我們不會遇到阻礙，也不是意味著路途上沒有危險。但我們知道，如何面對這些阻礙和危險，如何面對意料之外的事。有時會有悲傷、痛苦，甚至是生氣或憤怒，而我們內心卻非常堅定，它把我們與這個世界緊緊地綁在一起，使我們不會與我們的道路分開，使我們不會脫離我們的路線，我們的人生之路。
This does not mean we will not meet with obstacles or that our journey is free of dangers. But we know how to handle these obstacles and dangers and how to deal with unexpected incidents. There are sorrow, pain and even anger or rage. Yet our heart stands firm. It tightly ties us to this world so that we do not part with our path or divert from our direction in our life journey.
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文章來源 Source: https://gfamily.cwgv.com.tw/content/index/7549
摘自 讓娜‧西奧-法金《太聰明所以不幸福？》/遠流出版 https://www.odilejacob.com/catalogue/psychology/general-psychology/too-smart-to-be-happy-life_9782738120878.php
* English translation by Judy H *
關於作者
讓娜‧西奧－法金是法國臨床心理學家，專精於學習障礙和高智商者研究，著有《高智商兒童》（L'Enfant surdoué）。在第二本著作《太聰明所以不幸福》中，她關懷的是那些已經默默長大的成年資優者──那些或許從未確知自己的特殊，卻已經飽受聰明之害的人們。
你是位資優者嗎? 更多關於本書和作者的內容:
https://www.mplus.com.tw/article/1094
About Author
Jeanne Siaud-Facchin is a clinical psychologist and the author of the highly acclaimed L'Enfant surdoué. She founded the first specialised centres in France (in Marseille, Avignon and Paris) for the diagnosis and treatment of learning difficulties. Her other books include: L'aider à grandir, l'aider à s'en sortir (2002) and L'Enfant en difficulté scolaire (2006).
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