http://tinybuddha.com/blog/striving-perfection-actually-holding-back/
By Jenn Hand
作者: 珍‧韓德
“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” ~Anna Quindlen
「有件事很困難但很棒，那就是放棄做一個完人，開始做你自己。」~ 安娜.昆德蘭
I used to strive for perfection in every aspect of my life. I thought perfection would make me “acceptable” to others.
我曾經很努力想讓我的人生各方面都十全十美。我覺得成為一個完人會讓別人開始「接受」我。
Deep down, I felt inadequate, insecure, and not enough. And subconsciously, I decided that if I could just achieve perfection with myself, my body, and my life, then I would finally feel the deep love and inner acceptance I longed for inside of myself.
在內心深處，我覺得自己是個有缺陷、沒有安全感、不夠好的人。而且在潛意識裏，我認為只有當我自己、身體和人生各方面都達到完美的狀態時，我的內心才可能獲得我一直渴望的被深愛和接納的感覺。
As a kid, I demanded a perfect report card: only straight A’s would suffice. I spent hours upon hours studying in high school and college, doing extra credit, attending office hours any chance I could get, all in a desperate attempt to maintain a 4.0 GPA.
從小我就要一張完美的成績單: 只有全A才能滿足我。上高中和大學時我把大部份的時間花在念書和拿學分上，一有機會就往教授的辦公室跑，想盡辦法要維持一個4.0的學業成績。
As a young adult, I agonized over what career path to pick, wanting to pick the perfect job that would be my dream career. I was desperate to be the best, wanting to be the perfect employee, and giving nothing less than 150 percent in every project I worked on and presentation I did.
長大成人後，我又開始為職業的選擇操心，我想找一份完美的工作，打造一個夢想的事業。所以我總是拼命想做到最好，做一位完美的員工，對每個工作計畫和報告都付出150%的心力。
I was terrified to make a mistake and required excellence in every task. I was afraid of others judging me. I didn’t see it my mistakes as learning experiences; I saw them as a way of others seeing what I didn’t want them to see: that I was flawed, imperfect, and somehow not enough.
我非常害怕犯錯，做每件事都要求盡善盡美。我很怕被別人批評。犯錯對我來說並不是一個學習的經驗，而是向別人暴露我不想讓他們看到的那一面: 我有缺陷，不完美，不夠好。
I demanded perfection in every part of my life. But the area I struggled the most with was the desire for body perfection.
我要我的人生各方面都完美無缺。而我最大的願望就是希望有一個完美的身段。
As a teenager, I decided that 110 pounds was the “perfect” body. I spent years trying to whittle my body down with exercise, diets, and restriction in an attempt to get the figure I deemed flawless.
十幾歲那時，我認為最「理想」的體重是50公斤。我花了好多年的時間運動、節食和約束自己來減重，想塑造一個我自認為完美無瑕的身材。
The pressure I put on myself to be a size 2, to eat only 1200 calories a day, to spend at least 45 minutes at the gym daily was agonizing. I lived and breathed this obsession of needing and wanting to be perfect.
我將自己設定在2號身材，一天只能吸收1200卡的熱量，每天至少要在健身房運動45分鐘，這些自我設限的壓力讓我活得很辛苦。我的生活作息充滿著我對完美的追求和執著。
Looking back, I can see how detrimental this drive was to living and enjoying my life. In my chase for perfection, I put unnecessary pressure on myself to be something I was not. I wasted hours and hours trying to be someone different and wishing I was somewhere other than where I currently was.
現在當我回頭看時，我可以了解當時那股執著對我造成多大的傷害，讓我很不快樂。因為要追求完美，我給了自己不必要的壓力，希望自己變成一個不一樣的人。我希望當時的我不是那個樣子，所以我浪費了很多時間在創造一個不同的人。
But the biggest lesson of all was that in my quest for perfection, I wasn’t really living.
但這一切給我一個最大的領悟是，在追求完美的過程中，我根本不算是活著。
The reality is that striving for perfection holds us back. We spend so much time doing, striving, achieving, in an endless quest to get it all “perfect,” and we end up missing out on what life is really about: being in each moment and experiencing life where we are, as we are.
事實上，追求完美讓我們失去了自我。在這個永無止盡追求完美的道路上，我們花了這麼多時間努力、奮鬥、達成目標，結果我們錯失了人生的真正意義: 活在當下，接受每個當下的自己和生活的體驗。
I vividly remember New Year’s Eve in 2007. One of the dear friends I had met living abroad in Thailand was in town and wanted to see me. She wanted to do dinner with a group of people, then head out dancing for the ball drop.
我清楚地記得在2007年的新年除夕夜，一位我在泰國時認識的好朋友來看我，她想和一群朋友吃晚飯，然後去跳舞等待跨年的水晶球降落。(譯者註: 水晶球降落是紐約時代廣場一項傳統的跨年活動)。
I agonized over this decision to go or not. I remember wanting to meet up with her, but feeling so awful about my body not being “perfect” that I didn’t want to go out and have to “hide” my body in baggy clothes.
我為去還是不去很心煩。我記得當時很想和她碰面，但因為很在意自己那個「不完美」的身材，我不想出門或是要穿寬鬆的衣服來遮掩自己。
It pains me to say that I didn’t go. I gave up a chance to catch up with this dear friend, to have fun with others, and to dance the night away because I was unhappy with my body. I stayed home that night and ran on the treadmill in my parents’ basement.
很遺憾我最後並沒有去。我失去和這位好朋友敘舊、認識其他人和整夜跳舞狂歡的機會，只是因為我不滿意自己的身材。那天晚上我留在家裏，在我父母家地下室裏的跑步機上跑步。
It was the ultimate low in my quest for body perfection: I decided that I needed to burn off what I had eaten that day and work to “fix” myself into a smaller size.
在追求完美身材的過程中，那時我算是走到了谷底: 我覺得我必須將當天吃進的熱量全部消耗掉，然後努力把自己的身材縮小一號。
The anxiety I felt about eating more calories at a restaurant, when I already felt “fat” in my body, pushed me to stay home and run on the treadmill. It was a moment of life that I missed out on because I was desperately pursing a perfect body.
我覺得自己已經太胖，還要去餐廳吃進更多的熱量，這個想法讓我很不安，所以我決定留在家裏的跑步機上。因為一心想打造一個完美的身材，我錯失了我人生應有的體驗。
When we’re caught up in the pursuit of achieving the perfect body, finding the perfect mate, landing the perfect job, or being the perfect person, it actually hinders us from seeing how beautifully our journey is unfolding right before our eyes.
當我們熱衷於塑造一個完美的身材，尋覓一個完美的伴侶，獲得一份完美的工作，或想把自己變成一個完人時，這些執著會模糊了正在我們眼前展開的人生美景。
Perfection detracts you from the incredible life path you’re on and prevents you from seeing the gifts that are always in front of us. So the next time you get caught up in the endless pursuit of perfection, here are three things to remember:
因為追求完美，你忽視了你此刻所在的美妙生命歷程，而且永遠看不見就在你眼前的美好事物。下次當你掉入完美的無底洞不能自拔時，不妨想想下面這三件事:
1. Perfection isn’t attainable.
完美並不存在
We try so hard to achieve an ideal in our lives that is next to impossible. There really is no perfect body, perfect job, or perfect life. It isn’t possible to have our lives be happy, joyous, and 100 percent problem free. Unexpected tragedies happen. Something doesn’t turn out as you hoped it would. Someone you love disappoints you.
我們很努力要創造一個圓滿的生活，但圓滿的生活並不存在。世上並沒有所謂完美的身材、完美的工作或完美的人生。我們的生活不可能永遠幸福快樂，100%沒有問題。不幸的意外會發生，事情的結果不如人意，你所愛的人令你失望。
When you understand that perfection isn’t actually something you can achieve and maintain forever, you can let go of the never-ending quest for your job, your body, your parenting skills, or your relationship to be perfect.
當你了解完美是一個不可能達成和維繫的目標時，你就可以放下這個永無休止的追尋，不管它是你的工作、身材、教導孩子的方法，還是你的家庭關係。
Letting go of this unattainable goal is a huge sigh of relief. We don’t have to try to be perfect, because it’s impossible anyway! Once we relax into the idea of letting go of perfection, life becomes easier, less stressful, and a lot more fun.
放下這個不可能的目標會讓你如釋重負。我們不必去追求完美，因為它根本不可能做到 ! 如果我們能接受這個觀念，放下對完美的執著，生活會變得很輕鬆容易，而且更有趣。
Perfection leaves little room for error and joy, and while life can sometimes be messy, it’s during these times where we learn and grow (and have some adventure along the way).
完美的狹小空間裏容不下錯誤和快樂。也許生活有時會不如意，但就是在這些時候我們會學習和成長(還包括去冒險)。
2. Perfection isn’t authentic.
完美並不真實
When you’re always striving to be perfect, you miss out on showing the world who you truly are. Years ago, when I was in the throes of dieting and restriction, trying to be “perfect” in my eating and my body, I wasn’t being true to myself. I was hiding from the world, desperately trying to conceal what I thought were imperfections.
如果你總是執著於完美，你就無法向這個世界展現真正的你。很多年前當我還在痛苦地拼命節食限制自己，在飲食和身材上追求完美時，我並沒有誠實的面對自己。我將自己隱藏起來，想盡辦法要掩飾我自認為的缺點。
In the drive to be perfect, I never allowed myself to be vulnerable—to show up and let myself be seen. I thought when I’d reached perfection, I’d find approval and acceptance. But since the pursuit of perfection is an endless chase,the approval and acceptance never came.
因為追求完美，我不允許自己示弱 – 我不能呈現真正的我。我相信當我有天達到完美時，我就會得到別人的認可。但因為完美這條路是沒有止境的，我所期待的認可從來沒有到來。
It was only when I had the courage to drop my unattainable goals and bring my true self to the world, imperfections and all, when I began to find the inner acceptance I had wanted all along.
一直到我有勇氣放下這個不可能達成的目標，向這個世界展現真正的我，包括我所有不完美的地方，我才找到了我所渴望的內心平安。
It was scary to show up as who I was without wearing a mask or pretending to be someone I was not. But I began making decisions for and from me.
拿下假面具，不再偽裝成另外一個人，呈現真正的自己，這樣做是有點可怕。但是我開始以自己為出發點來做決定。
I quit my job and traveled for a year without an agenda (giving up a well-paying, secure job in the process). I ended a relationship that was no longer serving me (letting go of a man who was also my best friend). I took Spanish classes, wore a bikini to the beach without a cover up, told friends I wasn’t into partying anymore, and began to speak up for what I wanted and what I thought.
我把工作辭掉，隨心所欲地旅行了一年 (當中放棄了一個高薪穩定的工作); 結束了一段走調的戀情 (放棄的這個男人也是我最好的朋友); 上了西班牙文課; 穿著比基尼到海灘去; 向我的朋友們宣佈我對派對沒興趣了，開始勇敢地表達我的需求和想法。
It wasn’t easy or comfortable, but it was incredibly freeing. I felt vulnerable and naked, but as I began to express my honest opinion to others, voice what I needed or wanted, follow my own preferences instead of what was expected of me, and show more of who I was to the world without hiding, it got easier and easier.
一開始並不容易，但我覺得好輕鬆。雖然感覺自己好像赤裸裸地被人看見，但是我越做越容易: 我開始誠實地向別人說出我的意見; 表達我需要或想要的東西; 依據我的偏好而不是別人的期待來做決定; 向這個世界展現更多的自己，而不是將自己隱藏起來。
Your imperfect self is enough. Allow yourself to show up in the world as you are. When we’ve demanded perfection from ourselves for years, it can be scary to let go of our ideal and let the world see us as we are. But this is where your true, authentic beauty resides. Not in perfection, but in bringing all of who you are to the world.
那個不完美的你已經足夠，讓這個世界看到真正的你吧。或許多年來追求完美已經成為習慣，一開始放下理想讓別人看到真正的自己會很不自在。但這才是你真正耀眼的地方，它不是來自於完美，而是來自於向這個世界展現全部的你。
3. Perfection is stagnation.
完美代表停滯
No one is meant to be perfect in any area of life, whether it’s your body, relationships, personal growth, habits, or your career, because in a “perfect” world, everything is stagnant. There is no growth and no evolution. It is only through mistakes, missteps, and experimentation that we learn and grow.
沒有人的人生是各方面都完美的，無論是你的身體、人際關係、個人成長還是事業，因為一個「完美」的世界是停滯不前的。它沒有成長，沒有發展。只有經過錯誤、過失和嘗試我們才會學習和成長。
Looking back on my life, most of my decisions that seemed irrational or didn’t make sense in the traditional way ended up leading me to a path that was a perfect fit for what I needed and wanted. Life is funny that way.
回首看我的人生，很多當時不理性或不合理違背傳統的決定，最後卻把我帶向一條我最需要也最合適我的道路。人生真的很有趣。
I quit a stable job, but had incredible adventures traveling South America for a year. I left my hometown to move cross county without a plan, but ended up starting a business that is my true passion. I mistakenly got thrown into a role that I didn’t want at a job, but learned so much about fundraising and development that I ended up enjoying it.
辭掉一份穩定的工作後，我去南美旅行了一年，在那裏經歷了很多不可思議的事。我也曾未經籌劃就搬離家鄉到另一個城鎮去，結果在那裏開創了一個我熱愛的事業。工作上我被意外地賦予一項我不喜歡的任務，因此學到好多募款和企業發展的事，而且我還覺得蠻有趣的。
These “mistakes” allowed me to see how perfection would have actually held me back. If I had followed the “perfect” path, the path without risk, without chance of failure, and the path that felt safe and easy, I never would have had these life-changing personal growth experiences.
這些「錯誤」讓我了解到追求完美的結果會讓我退縮。如果我還走在「完美」的道路上，一個沒有風險和失敗、輕鬆安全的的道路，我就不會有這些改變我人生的成長經歷。
Many people who are striving for perfection in their life path, wanting to plan it all out and have it go exactly how they think it should, end up missing out on some of life’s best surprises and most meaningful moments.
很多對人生追求完美的人喜歡做生涯規劃，希望他們的人生能夠完全按照計畫實現，但是這些人可能會因此錯失一些生命中最精彩和最有意義的時光。
It is a refreshing way to view life. To allow ourselves to make mistakes is a relief, whether it’s messing up our food plan, getting into a fight with a family member, expressing emotions to a close friend and having it come out all wrong, or experimenting with a new hobby knowing you’ll likely mess up trying to master it. It’s these “mistakes” that allow us to incorporate feedback and chart a new course.
我們可以用一個新的眼光來看待人生。允許自己犯錯會讓你鬆一口氣，不管是搞錯了飲食計劃、和家人吵架、向好友傾訴卻弄巧成拙，或者是嘗試一個新的嗜好但不得要領。這些「錯誤」會幫助我們檢討，擬定一個新的方針重新出發。
If we’re constantly striving for perfection, we end up missing out on the lessons we most need to learn. In the pursuit of being flawless, our eyes are always looking three steps ahead of where we are. And as we’re consistently living a few steps ahead, we end up missing out on life’s most precious moment: now.
如果我們總是追求完美，我們會失去很多寶貴的學習經驗。因為不想犯錯，我們的眼睛永遠會看著前方三步的地方。因為我們總是活在幾步路之後的將來，我們永遠會錯過人生最寶貴的時刻: 當下。
Perfection isn’t something you can achieve because it doesn’t actually exist. So the next time you find yourself striving to be a more perfect version of yourself, remember that the imperfect, flawed, vulnerable you is perfectly enough.
完美是遙不可及的，因為它根本不存在。所以下次當你發現你想努力變得更完美一點時，提醒自己，這個不完美、有缺點，不夠堅強的你已經綽綽有餘了。
* Judy H 譯 *
About Jenn Hand
Jenn Hand, founder of jennhand.com, helps you end your relentless battle with food demons, daily struggle with cravings, and constant war with binging. She will hold you by the hand and gently help you find freedom in your eating and fall (back) in love with your body. Tired of “starting over” every damn Monday? Download your “Must Have Guide to End the Diet Cycle Today.”
關於 珍‧韓德
珍‧韓德是jennhand.com 的創辦人，她專門幫助別人克服飲食障礙、飲食過慾和狂食症。她會一步步帶你重獲飲食自由，恢復你對身體的自信。對於每星期都要「重新開始」覺得很挫折嗎? 下載你的「終結飲食惡習必備手冊」。
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