作/譯者 By: Judy H
有位同事要結婚了，海莉思量著她該花多少錢買一份賀禮。
A co-worker is getting married. Holly wonders how much she should spend on buying her a wedding gift.
中國新年快到了，瑞秋想著她該給父母和姪子姪女包多少紅包。
The Chinese New Year is coming. Rachel wonders how much red-envelope money she should give for her parents and the kids of her siblings.
傑米的表弟住在同一個城市，表弟這個周末要搬到新公寓去，傑米心想他該去幫表弟搬家，還是帶孩子去打棒球，因為他已經好幾個周末加班工作了。
Jamey has a cousin who lives in the same city and is going to move to a new apartment this coming weekend. Jamey wonders if he should help his cousin move or play baseball with his kids because he had been working overtime the past few weekends.
在某些狀況下，你會反覆思量你該怎麼做或該貢獻多少才合適嗎? 我們會拿不定主意，尤其當對方是我們不想得罪的人，而且要做的事有點負擔。
Have you ever wondered “how much” you should do or contribute in a particular situation? We struggle with this type of question, especially when it involves people whom it is hard for us to say "no" to and tasks that we are not really interested in.
在這聖誕假期的忙季，蕾拉在姻親家開的禮品店義務幫忙。她每天在店裏花兩三個小時補充架上的貨和幫客人結帳。蕾拉是個家庭主婦，她通常會在這一年中最忙的時候到店裏幫公婆的忙，雖然她其實並不喜歡在店裏工作。
Leila is helping in the gift shop her in-laws run during the Christmas shopping season as a volunteer. She spends 2-3 hours every day stocking items on the shelves and checking out customers. Being a house wife, Leila usually helps out her parents-in-law during this busiest time of the year though she doesn’t really enjoy working as a store clerk.
除了蕾拉，她先生的兄長夫婦也在店裏支薪工作。有時蕾拉早上起床時並不想到店裏去，又有時店裏好忙，蕾拉覺得不好意思放下一切回家休息，雖然她覺得有點累了。她的腦子裏常常有這些念頭:「如果我今天只幫一小時的忙，公婆大伯們會怎麼看我?」「如果我只選擇做店裏的某些工作，會不會太挑剔?」「我做的夠不夠多，他們會感謝我嗎?」
Besides Leila, her sister and brother-in-laws also work in the store as paid staff. There are times when Leila gets up in the morning and doesn’t feel like going to the store, or when there are so many things going on in the store that Leila finds it difficult to just put down everything and leave even though she feels a little tired. Very often, Leila finds these thoughts running in her head: “How would my in-laws think of me if I only help one hour today?” “Would I be seen too picky if I only do certain tasks in the store?” “Am I doing enough so that I would be appreciated?”
這些念頭讓蕾拉很不安。她心想:「如果我一直擔心他們怎麼看我，如果我用他們的標準來衡量自己的行為，我永遠不會安心，因為我的行為會不斷因著不同的人而改變。」
These thoughts disturb her peace. Leila thinks to herself: “If I keep worrying about how they would think of me, if I use their standards to measure how I should be doing, I will never have peace, because I will keep changing my behavior according to the person I am interacting with.”
蕾拉決定相信自己。「如果我不相信自己的感覺和為人，如果我看重的是別人的想法而不是我自己的，那不等於在說我這個人不夠好，我不如別人嗎? 而且如果我老是依著別人的眼光過日子，那我過的到底是那個人的日子，還是我的日子?」在那一刻，蕾拉拋開了心中的恐懼和對先生家人的不安。當她決定用愛去相信自己的感覺和為人時，她開始覺得踏實多了。
Leila decides to trust herself. “If I don’t trust how I feel and who I am as a person, and I value other people’s opinions more than mine, it is equivalent to seeing myself as not good enough and inferior to other people. And if I live my life according to how someone would think of me, I would actually be living that person’s life, not mine,” Leila reasons. At that moment, Leila lets go of her fears and worries of how her in-laws would think of her. She feels a sense of relief and peace arising in her as she starts to honor what she feels and who she is with love.
蕾拉決定用-愛自己……和同樣的愛來看待先生的家人。事實上，不僅是愛，而且是無條件的愛，也就是她要用-無條件真心想服務-的心態來決定她幫忙的程度。畢竟，當她的行為超過了-心-的範圍時，那已經不是愛，也不是她的真實面目了。
Leila decides to go about the situation from a place of loving herself… and to help her in-laws from the same place of love. In fact, not just love, but unconditional love, that is, she wants to offer help to the extent that it is coming from her heart. After all, anything that is beyond her heart is not love and is not who she is.
在工作場合裏，我們沒有太多的選擇。但是在我們可以選擇，沒有人規定我們要如何的時候，我們是怎麼運作的呢? 我們的決定和行動是基於我們的感受和我們這個人是誰，還是基於別人怎麼看待我們? (但我們真的知道他們在想什麼嗎?) 換句話說，我們的行動是來自愛，還是恐懼?
We don’t really have a choice at work where we do things as required. But what about other times when we do have a choice and no one “requires” us one way or the other? Are we making decisions and taking actions based on how we feel and who we are, or are we doing it based on how people would think of us? (But can we really read their mind?) In other words, are we coming from a place of love or fear?
即使我們一時讓擔心和恐懼主導了我們的行為，沒有關係，只要我們有這樣的覺察。如果我們經常覺察我們的行為是來自那一種情緒，有一天我們會改變方向，因為一個源自愛的起心動念會讓我們比較快樂。
Even if we are succumbed to our worries and do things out of fear, that’s OK. We can just recognize that. By recognizing what kind of emotion is driving us, we may in time turn around, when we finally see that coming from love will make us a happier person.
相信你的真心，即使它在某人眼中並不夠好, 因為你要過的是-你的-生活，不是他的。
Trust your heart, even if it means not good enough for somebody else, because you want to live a life of your own, not theirs.
* 寫譯 By: Judy H *
< 來自秋敏的靈感故事 / A story inspired by Chiumin)
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「一旦你相信自己，就知道怎樣過活」－德國詩人暨劇作家歌德
"As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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愛的初衷 / Stick to That Initial Love
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