你今天過得好嗎? / Measuring the Quality of Your Day with a To-Be List (Not Just a To-Do List)



By Nancy Daley
作者: 南茜‧戴利 

 As you crawl into bed, thump your pillow to make the perfect little cave for your head to rest in, pull the covers up tight under your chin, and let go of that big sigh that indicates the day is finished, how do you look back on the waking hours you just experienced? How do you measure the quality of your day?

當你爬上床,在枕頭上鑿個舒服的小頭坑,將棉被拉到下巴下,喘一口大氣準備結束這一天時,你會如何看待你白天的經歷? 你會如何衡量你當天的生活品質? 


Measuring Your Day by What You Do
我今天做了什麼

Most of us will measure our day by what we did. We will reflect back and count the things on the to-do list we were able to check off. The more check marks, the better.

大多數的人會用做了什麼來衡量。我們一邊回想一邊在待辦事項清單上將完成的項目打勾,打勾的數目越多越好

How well we did will also come into play as we reflect back on our doing. The more praise we received for it, either the self-provided kind or that offered by others, the higher we rank our day in terms of quality.

事情的表現如何也是我們回顧的重點之一。我們得到的讚賞越多,無論是自己給的還是別人評價的,讚賞越多就表示當天的品質越好。

We may compare our daily accomplishments to those of the people who trudged through the hours with us. “Did I do more or better than Jim, John, or Mary?” No matter how much we goofed up, if Mary goofed up more, then we can sigh with relief and call it a good day as we close our eyes for the night.

我們甚至每天會拿自己的表現和共同辛苦工作的人比較。「我做的有沒有比吉姆、約翰或瑪莉更多更好?」就算我們偷了懶,只要瑪莉偷的懶更多,我們就可以鬆口氣,還算滿意的閤上眼睛睡覺。


The Not So Good Days of Doing
如果做得不好?

What happens, however, if you never got done what you wanted to get done or if what you did was simply more of the same old drudgery that fills most of your days? If you didn’t do what you had planned well or, heaven forbid, you screwed up royally and had others chastise you for it, chances are you are thumping your pillow a little harder than necessary.

那麼,如果你沒有做完你想做的事,或者一整天你都做著枯躁乏味的苦差事呢? 如果你沒有去做你事先計劃好的事,或者更慘,你把事情搞砸了,別人還因此來教訓你,晚上你大概會用力地去捶枕頭吧。

Your ability to fall asleep may also be disturbed as you ruminate regretfully over all the things you did that you wish you didn’t. Tonight you may be giving Mary something to smile about.

恐怕,你也會因為懊悔做了不該做的事,思來想去而難以入睡。今晚你可能給了瑪莉一個偷笑的機會。

So is it safe to say you had a bad day when you didn’t do enough or do it well enough? Only if that is how you choose to measure life quality, the way I did for most of my life.

所以可以這麼說,只要你做得不夠多或不夠好,那天對你來說就是糟糕的一天吧? 不過那只是因為你選擇以這種方式來衡量你的生活品質,就像我過去大半的人生一樣。


Learning the Hard Way
我得到的教訓

I have given the Marys of this world plenty to feel good about over the years. I have spent many nights abusing my pillow and tossing and turning as I reflected back on the dids and did nots of my waking hours. I spent my days as a check mark addict, a praise dependent, and a competitive comparison seeker.

多年來我給了世上很多瑪莉小確幸的機會。多少夜晚當我回顧白天我做了什麼和沒做什麼時,我會拿我的枕頭出氣,在床上翻來覆去輾轉難眠。我靠著打勾過日子,我需要讚賞,而且我喜歡和別人競爭比較。

I was compelled to set one goal after the other; to constantly add “just one more’’ thing to my mile long to-do list. I believed I had to do in order to feel like I was enough. So I did and I did and I did until I could do no more.

我忍不住地設立一個又一個目標,不斷地在長長的待辦事項清單上添上新的項目。我認為我必須靠做事來感覺自己的價值。於是我不停地做、做、做,直到我做不動為止。

I got sick. I was forced to cut back on the doing and face the reality of my situation. Now, I consider myself a pathological doer in recovery.

我生病了。我不得不開始減少我做的事,並且正視我的現實狀況。現在,我把自己定位為一個療癒中的做事狂。

Most of us still measure the quality of our daily experiences, the quality of our lives by what we do. We seldom determine the value of our life experience by how we are or on the beingness of it all.

我們大部份的人仍然用做事來衡量自己每天的經歷和生活品質。我們很少用我們的感受和存在的狀況來評價我們的生活。

What would happen if we did?

那麼,如果我們是這樣來評價呢?


A Day Based on Being Rather Than Doing
重視存在的「感受覺知」

What if you and I ignored the urge to check out the check marks on our to-do lists before getting into our PJ’s and brushing our teeth? What if we sat quietly somewhere before bed and reflected on how we were that day; how we felt and how others seemed to feel around us rather than on what we accomplished and who we did more than? Would the quality of our day change?

如果我們在換上睡衣和刷牙前,不要去檢查待辦清單上有幾個勾勾呢? 如果我們是安靜地坐在床前,回想我們白天的狀況、當時的感受以及周遭人可能有的感覺,而不是我們完成了什麼或比誰做得多呢? 我們那天的品質會不會不一樣?

I know the quality of my life has changed since I began to measure my day differently. In fact, my life improved almost immediately when I began, at the end of the day, to reflect on the questions that really matter.

我發現當我用不同的方式去衡量我一天的生活時,我的生活品質就開始轉變了。事實上,當我開始在一天結束時用一些重要的問題來省思時,我的生活幾乎可以說是立即改觀。


The Important Questions to Ask At the End of the Day
一天結束後的重要問題

• How was your day? Really?

• 這一天過得如何? 講實在話。

• Were you feeling peaceful and calm at certain points of your day? If so, you can give yourself lots of points for that.

• 你有在某些時刻感到平靜安詳嗎? 如果有,你可以在這點上拿到很多分。

• Were you loving and compassionate with Mary when she spilled coffee all over the stuff you were working on, or did you refrain from honking your horn at the slow driver in front of you that made you fifteen minutes late for your appointment? Give yourself even more points, if you said yes. Your day score is getting better.

• 當瑪莉將咖啡灑在你手邊的工作上時,你有仁慈憐憫地對待她嗎? 或者你前面的車子開得很慢害你約會遲到了十五分鐘,你有沒有忍住不對他按喇叭? 如果你回答有,你可以獲得更多的分數,你這天的得分更高了。

• Were you mindful and aware of the beauty around you? Did you appreciate it? Did you whisper a few words of prayerful gratitude? If so, better still. 

• 你有專注在當下覺察身邊的美景嗎? 你有幸福的感覺嗎? 你有低聲表達感謝之情嗎? 如果有,你更棒了。

• Did you seek stillness and quiet at some point for a few minutes at least? Did you take a moment to just breathe and observe the life force within you?

• 你曾在某刻至少沈默安靜了幾分鐘嗎? 你有停下來吸口氣去感覺一下你內在的生命力嗎?

• Did you reach out a hand of support or offer a few kind words to another, not because you had it on your to-do list, but because it was something you were inclined to do from the heart?

• 你有對別人伸出援手或說一些善意的話嗎? 並不是因為這件事列在你的待辦清單上,而只是因為你有心這樣做?

• Did you smile often? Did you laugh? Did you find moments of unexpected joy? Did you seek them?

• 你有經常微笑嗎? 你有大笑嗎? 你有驚喜開心的時刻嗎? 你有刻意讓自己開心嗎?

• Did you love what you were doing or most importantly did you love the people around you?

• 你有欣賞你做的事,或更重要的,你有善待你周遭的人嗎?

Congratulations! All these things make for a great day.

恭喜你! 所有這些事都造就了你美好的一天。


Is There Room for Improvement?
有改善的空間嗎?

Even if you have big beautiful checkmarks beside everything on your to-do list at the end of your twenty-four-hour time block, there may still be room for improvement in the being department. How would you answer the following questions?

即使在24小時這個時間區塊結束時,你待辦清單上的每件事旁邊都打了個又大又漂亮的勾,在存在的「感受覺知」領域裏可能還有改善的空間。

• How was your day? Really?

• 這一天過得如何? 講實在話。

• Were you tense, irritable, stressed out in the process of the doing?

• 在做事的過程中,你感到緊張、急躁和焦慮嗎?

• Were you experiencing rage, impatience, or resentment for more than a few minutes today?

• 你今天有發脾氣、不耐煩或憤恨不平超過幾分鐘以上嗎?

• Did you complain or criticize a great deal?

• 你有發牢騷或大事批評嗎?

• Did you consciously seek to do more or better than someone else?

• 你有刻意想比誰做得更多或更好嗎?

• Were you unkind or unloving to anyone or anything, including yourself?

• 你有對任何人不好或不友善,包括你自己嗎?

• Did you fail to reach out to someone you knew was in need?

• 你是否沒有對一個需要幫助的人伸出援手?

• Did you forget to notice, let alone appreciate, all the beauty of life that was going on around you and in you?

• 你是否沒有注意到,更別說欣賞,你身邊和內在美好的事物?

If you said yes to a few of those questions above, maybe it is time to work on improving the quality of your day and of your life.

如果你對以上某些問題的回答是肯定的,也許你該思考如何改善你每天生活的品質。


Take Heart: Tomorrow Will be Better
別忘了: 明天會更好

Don’t be too hard on yourself, though, for you are not alone. Many of us will answer yes to those questions if we are being honest. Most of us spend too many moments of our day diminishing its quality by getting too wrapped up in doing. Even in my recovery, I find myself slipping from time to time back into unhealthy doing.

不過,別對自己太苛刻,因為不是只有你如此。如果我們誠實地回答這些問題,很多人的答案都是肯定的。大部份的人都把時間花在做事情上,無形中降低了自己的生活品質。即使是矯正中的我,有時仍會不自覺的陷入不健康的做事習性中。

Recognizing the problem is the first step to healing. The good news is, from that awareness, we can grow from the less than good days of being. We can begin to experience life the way we were meant to, with peace and joy.

發現是改善問題的第一步。好消息是,一旦有了這種覺察,我們就可望逐步創造更多「感受覺知」的好日子,開始體驗我們本該享有的平安喜樂的生活。

All it takes to begin the change is three simple steps.

這些改變只需要三個簡單的步驟。


Steps to improve the Quality of Tomorrow
改善明天生活品質的步驟

1. The first step is to be more conscious, before you drift off to sleep, about how you are living your life regardless of the things you get done or do not get done. Use today as an example. Reflect, learn and grow from the hours you just experienced.

1. 第一步是在你進入夢鄉前,感覺一下你的生活方式,不管你做了或沒有做什麼。以今天做為例子,回想你剛經歷過的白天生活,從中學習改善。

2. Next, then doing. Of course you will have to do something but prioritize the living component over the doing component for the upcoming 24 hours.

2. 接下來,是去實踐。當然你還是要去「做」一些事,但對於未來的24小時,把「感受覺知」 的重要性放在「做事」前面。

3. Finally, write a to-be list instead of a to-do list, for tomorrow. It may look something like this:

3. 最後,為明天擬一張「感受覺知」清單,而不是待辦事項清單。它的內容可能會像這樣:

Tomorrow I will be:

明天我要:

• mindful
• 專注當下

• aware
• 覺察

• peaceful
• 心平氣和 

• a person who seeks reasons to smile and laugh
• 刻意營造微笑和大笑的機會

• loving
• 有愛心

• appreciative
• 覺得感恩

• forgiving
• 能原諒

• thoughtful
• 能體貼

• supportive
• 幫助別人

• still
• 平靜

• quiet
• 安靜

• faithful
• 忠誠守信

• honest
• 誠實

• a person who simply wants to be
• 安於單純的「存在」

The quality of your life is determined by who you are, not by what you accomplish. We are, after all, human beings not human doings.

我們生活的品質取決於我們是怎樣的人,而不是我們所做的事。畢竟,我們是「感受覺知的人」(human beings),而不是 「做事的人」(human doings)。

Let’s base the value of our day on that small bit of wisdom and live accordingly. Just be.

讓我們運用這個小智慧來創造我們每天生活的價值,而且如實奉行。就只要去感受覺知。

Now settle down and have a good night’s sleep. You have earned it!

現在你可以安心地進入夢鄉了。你已經開始在「感受覺知」上得分!

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“Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do in life. You aren’t what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don’t…you aren’t.” ~Wayne Dyer 

「不要將你做的事和你的自我價值畫上等號。你不是你做的事。如果你是你做的事,那麼當你不做的時候…. 你什麼也不是。」~ 韋恩‧戴爾博士 


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* Judy H 譯 *

文章來源 / Source:
https://tinybuddha.com/blog/measuring-the-quality-of-your-day-with-a-to-be-list-not-just-a-to-do-list/










About Nancy Daley
Nancy Daley is a mother of four, nursing educator, and freelance writer. She is actively seeking more being than doing in her day but admits it isn’t always easy. She is the voice behind Waking Up in a Busy World.

關於南茜‧戴利
南茜‧戴利是四個孩子的母親、護理教員和特約作家。她的目標是將每天的生活重心放在感受覺知而不是做事情上,雖然她也承認這對她有時仍然是個挑戰。她是「從忙錄中覺醒」部落格的主人。

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相關內容 / You may also be interested in:

挑花生教給我的平安 / What Picking Peanuts Taught Me About Inner Peace

漫無目的讓你感到焦慮嗎? / When You Feel Purposeless and Fear You’re Wasting Time

(視頻) 人生是一首音樂 / Life as Music (Alan Watts 艾倫•沃茲)


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