心靈傳譯 ... For the Soul: 我已經學會放過自己 ! / I have learned to go easy on myself !

作/譯者 By: Judy H

剛看完「不二論」的老師魯伯特‧斯培拉的一支視頻。視頻中，一位學生問魯伯特，要如何才能在真實的世界裏保持對自我存在的覺知…在靜休活動裏要覺知自我的存在並不難 …但為什麼一回到真實的世界就很難活在那個理解當中… 我老是離開自我，要很努力地再回到覺知裏，覺得很挫折、很麻煩、很沮喪…

I just watched a video posted by non-duality teacher, Rupert Spira. In the video, a student asks Rupert how he can remain in the awareness of his being in the real world…it is so easy to be aware of his being in the retreat…why is it so hard to live that understanding when he is back to the real world…It is frustrating, sad and discouraging to keep falling and trying to get back to that sense of being all the time…

看完視頻後，我心想:「靈性學習的目的不是為了要讓自己更快樂嗎?」但是如果我們的努力沒有得到期盼的結果，我們因此感到失望挫折，這豈不是和原本的目的背道而馳? 換句話說，我們努力想讓自己快樂，但這個過程太艱難了，我們反而為自己製造了負面情緒。

Having finished watching the video, I was thinking: “Isn’t the purpose of spiritual learning to become happier?” But it beats that purpose if we become disappointed and frustrated when our effort doesn’t produce a desired result. It‘s like we are trying to become happy but the journey to become happy is so hard that it is creating negative emotions in us.

人在這世上都有努力想達成的目標。有些人想減重; 有些人想控制他們的脾氣; 有些人想多賺點錢; 有些人想讓身體更健康; 有些人想放掉過去的包袱; 有些人想要開悟。於是我們去學習、鑽研，然後努力去達成我們的目標。

We all have things we try to achieve in this world. Some people try to lose weight. Some people try to control their temper. Some try to make more money. Some want to be more healthy. Some want to let go of the past. Some desire to be enlightened. So we learn, research and make efforts to achieve our goals.

但是像那位追求靈性的學生一樣，我們會遇到挑戰。當事情的進展不夠快時，我們會失去耐心。當我們一再嘗試而事情仍然沒有結果時，我們會感到焦慮和沮喪 - 「為什麼這件事這麼難? 我那裏做錯了? 接下來該怎麼辦?」

But like the spiritual seeker, we often run into challenges. When things are not improving fast enough, we become impatient. When things don’t work out after many attempts, we become anxious and frustrated, asking: “Why is it so hard ? What am I doing wrong ? What shall I do next ?”

在我們追逐目標的過程中，那裏出了問題? 我們要如何才能快樂地學習?

What goes wrong in our goal chasing journey? How can we be happy learners?

有位朋友是物理博士, 她的英文名字叫珍妮佛。我們上同一所高中，那所高中是全國最好最具競爭力的學校。我想成為一名醫生，但不幸地，那些理科科目，數學、化學和物理，對我來說像是來自外星的知識。任憑我如何努力，我總是考不及格，無法提升分數。成績不好讓我覺得很自卑、難過。最終，我必須改變我的學業方向。這個經驗對我的自信心打擊很大。

A friend of mine has a Physics Ph.D. Her name is Jennifer. We went to the same high school - the best and most competitive one in our country. I wanted to become a medical doctor but unfortunately, those science subjects like mathematic, chemistry and physics felt like knowledge from another planet. No matter hard I tried, I frequently flunked the exams and couldn’t improve my grades. I started to feel ashamed and depressed by my academic performance. Finally, I had to change the course of my study. To me, this experience was a tremendous blow to my self-confidence.

珍妮佛是我同班同學。她在理科上的表現也不怎麼樣，但比我好。她高中一路念完都沒有轉換跑道，離開理科的學習，最後她考上一所理想的大學。不僅僅如此，她後來還到美國去完成博士學位。

Jennifer was my classmate. Her performance on the science subjects was mediocre but better than mine. She managed to stay on the science oriented path of study in high school and eventually was admitted to a good university. She didn’t stop there, and went on to pursue her doctorate degree in the US.

高中畢業以後，我們一直是好朋友。有天我們一起吃中飯，談到高中那幾年很辛苦的日子。我問她是如何應付壓力，以及和別的同學相比成績不如人的感覺。我永遠記得她的回答:「我已經學會放過自己。」

We have remained good friends since high school. One day when we met over lunch, we talked about how challenging those high school days were. I asked her how she coped with the pressure and the feeling of “not as good as” other high-achieving classmates. I will never forget what she said: “I already learned how to go easy on myself.”

事實上，珍妮佛不僅在學業上「放過自己」，在人生的其他方面她也是抱著同樣的態度。她不會和別人比較。她只是埋頭去做她想做的事。她喜歡科學，所以她一直朝著這個方向走，即使她的表現不如很多高中同學。我不確定我是否喜歡科學，但我想要和別人一樣好，一樣成功。當結果不是這樣時，我很挫折、失望，覺得自己很失敗。

In fact, Jennifer not only “go easy” for her academic goals but has been holding the same attitude towards everything else in her life. She doesn’t compare. She just keeps her head down doing what she feels like doing. She loved science and she kept going even though she was not doing as well as many other students in high school. I wasn’t sure if I loved science but I wanted to be competitive and successful. And when it was not happening, I got frustrated and disappointed and considered myself a failure.

所有能給我未來保障的東西，我都很努力去追求，包括念好的學校，找好的工作。我會為了準備考試或交差，啃書本或工作到很晚。

I strived for everything that I thought would provide me with a good life – a good school, and a good job. I would often stay up late to get my study or job done.

去美國留學前，為了提升英文能力，我報名去上了一個語言學校。班上大約有12名學生，我們成了好朋友。有天，同學麥可問了大家一個問題:「如果隔天要考試，你書沒念完，你會去睡覺嗎?」我不記得有多少同學說「不會」，我肯定是其中之一。麥可說他「會」。但後來他還是拿到了電機工程的博士學位。

Before I went to the US to study, I signed up for a language class to upgrade my English skills. There were about a dozen students in that class and we became very good friends. One day, a classmate, Michael, asked us a question: “If you haven't finished your study for an exam next day, would you go to bed?” I don’t remember how many of us said no, but I was definitely one of them. Michael said he would. But eventually, he also got his Ph.D. in electrical engineering.

不要為了達成目標而犧牲健康，這點我一直沒有覺悟。

I never learned to achieve my goal - without the expense of my health.

我的先生同樣出身競爭很激烈的求學環境。他13歲就已經八百多度近視。他經常準備考試到深夜。但後來得知他的視力已經如此糟糕以後，他說他再也沒有因為考試犧牲健康。年紀輕輕的他，當時已經明白健康的眼睛比考試成績重要得多。即使沒有再熬夜念書，他也是一路完成了研究所的學業，找到理想的工作。

My husband also grew up in the same highly competitive educational environment. He already had high myopia of -8.00 when he was only 13 years old. He used to study for exams late into the night. But after realizing how bad his eyesight had become, he said he would never do that again. He realized, as early as a teenager, that having healthy eyes is a lot more important than good grades on exams. Without losing too much of his sleep, he worked his way up to earn his graduate school degree and fared well at work.

舉這些例子，不是為了表示和朋友以及先生相比，我如何不愛惜自己 (雖然這是事實 😔)。回到之前的問題: 「在我們追逐目標的過程中，那裏出了問題? 我們要如何才能快樂地學習?」

I gave these example not to show how unloving I was towards myself (though I was 😓) compared to my friends and husband. Going to back my questions: “What goes wrong in our goal chasing journey? How can we be happy learners?”

經過好多年不惜犧牲身心健康，「為營造美好未來而奮鬥」後，我終於明白一件事: 沒有事值得我付出內心的平安和健康做為代價，而且沒有任何的學習比學會愛自己更重要。

After so many years of “striving towards a better future” at the expense of my mental and physical health, I finally realized one thing – nothing is worth losing my peace of mind or health, and no learning is as important as learning to love myself.

當我們努力到極致仍然覺得無法達到自己或這個世界的期待時，我希望我們能懷著鍾愛的態度跟自己說: 「沒關係，你已經盡力了。愛你喲!」

When we feel we have failed ourselves or the world after we've pushed ourselves to the limit, I hope we can come back to ourselves with love, saying :”It’s OK. You’ve done your best. I love you.”

一開始接觸愛自己這個觀念時，我認為這沒什麼難的。不就是不要評斷自己，對自己說好話，讓自己開心，做自己喜歡的事嗎? 但其實還不止如此。經過了很多年不愉快的經驗後，我才明白在困境中疼惜自己對身心健康至關重要。

I thought it was easy to love myself when I was first exposed to this idea. You know, just don’t criticize, say nice things to myself, find joy and do what resonates with me. But it is more than that. It took me many years and unpleasant experiences to learn how important it is for my well-being to love myself in difficult situations.

每一個生活上的挑戰都是練習愛自己的機會，或者更恰當地說，都是為了讓我們能夠回頭用愛看到自己。

Every challenge in life is an opportunity to practice self-love, or better, to come back to ourselves with love.

每一次未達標的嘗試，每一次的挫敗，每一次發生讓人難堪的錯誤，每一次金錢的損失，每一次被別人批評，每一次生氣，每一次傷心，每一個勾起不舒服情緒的事件，都是一個機會去擁抱自己，跟自己說「沒關係，我愛你」，就像我們會對孩子或一個所愛的人說的一樣。

Every failed attempt at something, every setback we experience, every mistake that may embarrass us, every loss in finance, every illness we fall into, every criticism we hear from other people, every time we get angry, every time we feel sad, every event that triggers our uncomfortable emotions, is an opportunity to embrace ourselves and say "Hey, it's OK. I love you" as you would to your child or someone you love.

如果對自己沒有愛意，我們會陷在困境中良久。我們會活在愧疚和罪惡感中; 我們會因為學不會一件事感到著急和不安，然後這些不愉快的情緒會漸漸吞噬我們的健康。如果我們不明白最重要的是愛，我們不會對強烈的慾望稍微鬆手，讓平安喜悅有機會進到心裏。

If we don’t have love for ourselves, we will be stuck in bad experiences for a long time. We will live in guilt and shame; we will become anxious and frustrated for not learning something quick enough until these unpleasant emotions start to consume our health. If we don’t realize love is more important than anything else, we will not loosen the grip of our burning desires to allow peace and joy to come in to our minds.

也許這是為什麼我們來到這裏，來到這個錯綜複雜的地球 - 我們是來學習*愛*的，而且學習*先愛自己*。也許如同最近在艾妮塔‧穆札尼視頻中聽到的，這是所有目標的終極目標，其他東西都是工具。我開始明白為什麼她總是說:「愛自己如同它是你生命之所依，而事實也的確如此。」

Maybe this is why we are here, on this troubled earth, to *learn* to love and to *love ourselves* first. Maybe this is the goal of all goals, while other things are just tools, as I heard in one of Anita Moorjani’s recent videos. I begin to understand why she kept emphasizing: “Love yourself like your life depends on it, because it does.”

網頁

我已經學會放過自己 ! / I have learned to go easy on myself !