作者 By: Judy H
我和先生來到一家自助餐，在吧台的隊伍中前進。我們都拿著一個餐盤，上面放了一兩個空盤子, 然後將餐盤放在吧台上，一邊將吧台上的食物舀進盤子裏，一邊推著餐盤前進。正當我們快靠近吧台另一端的收銀員時，從我們身後傳來一陣聲響。原來緊接在我們後面的一位女士沒拿好，餐盤從吧台上滑了出去。還好她身手快，趕緊從底下接住，餐盤沒有掉落到地上。
My husband and I were moving in line along a food bar in a buffet restaurant. Each of us had a tray with one or two empty plates on it. We put the tray on the bar counter and pushed it along as we moved and scooped food items into our plates. As we were getting close to the cashier at the end of the bar to make payment, some noise came from the lady right behind us. Apparently, the tray slipped out of her hand and it fell off from the bar counter. With a quick reflexive reaction, she caught the tray from under and saved it from a complete drop. As a result, only a small portion of the food was spilled onto the floor.
接下來的部份讓我激賞。當這位女士叫住服務員請他們清理地上打翻的食物時，她致上歉意: 「真抱歉，我打翻食物了。但是-情況本來會更糟糕的，還好我反應快接住餐盤，沒有讓全部的食物掉下去。」聽到這裏，我好想過去擁抱她。
Here comes the part that I like. As she called to the attention of the restaurant staff so they could get the mess on the floor cleaned up, she apologized to them: “I’m so sorry that I dropped the food. But it could have been much worse. I was able to catch the tray so I didn’t drop all the food.” I wanted to go hug this lady when I heard it.
她坦誠她做的事，她為她造成的麻煩道歉，但是她-沒有-責備自己。在她訴說她是如何挽救了她大部份的食物時，她的語氣甚至帶著點自豪。
She acknowledged what she did and apologized for the trouble, but she did NOT blame herself. There was even a tinge of pride in her tone when she made the statement that she was able to save most of her food.
我們也可以這樣嗎? 當我們犯了錯或帶給別人麻煩時，當我們為我們做的事表示歉意時，我們可以在當中放進一個根據事實而合理的「但是」來肯定我們對事件的正面貢獻嗎?
Can we all do this? When we make a mistake or cause some trouble, when we apologize for something, can we insert somewhere a fact-based and respectable “But” to recognize our positive contribution to an event.
「對不起，我沒有按時完成這件事，但是 - 我把它做得很好。」
“I’m sorry that I turned in the assignment late, BUT I did a good job.”
「抱歉我弄錯了，但是 – 我在很多人發現以前我就把它更正了。」
“I apologize for the mistake, BUT I corrected it before more people found the error.”
「沒拿到那份工作我很難受，但是 - 我比上次表現好，下次一定會更好。」
"I feel bad for not getting the job, BUT I did better than last time and I will only get better."
一個多麼可愛的「但是」! 像事件中這位美麗的女士，在一個讓我們難受或難為情的場合裏，我們可以這樣來愛自己，用一個慈悲的態度來看待自己，而不要在我們已經為做錯事感到罪惡時落井下石來責備自己。而且，為什麼我們要把重心放在不好的那一面，而不去欣賞那個光明面呢?
What a loving “But” ! Like this beautiful lady, we can love ourselves and see things from a compassionate perspective for ourselves when we are in a vulnerable situation, rather than rub it off to add to that sense of guilt we already feel from doing something wrong. And why do we want to focus on the negative side when there is a bright side for us to appreciate?
~ 不管在什麼情況下，讓我們做自己最好的朋友和啦啦隊 ~
~ Be our own best friend and cheerleader. Always. ~
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